Chapter Thirty – How to Cure Performance Anxiety – A Short Guide
Could Aron tell he was nervous? His friend closed his hand over Carter’s, and all he could do was to think of the warmth he was feeling. It was not exactly like they were holding hands, and there was some room between them on the back seat, while the taxi driver seemed more preoccupied with watching the road ahead rather than spying on them.
You’re getting a little paranoid, aren’t you?
You saw what happened with Simon earlier! What if someone finds out?
Aron doesn’t seem to care. Why do you?
I care. I care that he doesn’t get hurt.
Another funny thing was how silent they were after their happy banter from before. Each one was staring over the window on his side, and there seemed to be no words they cared to share. Carter could not exactly remember that kind of situation. Although Aron had said something before about Carter’s way of falling silent. Was that one of those moments? When he just lost himself in his own head, while Aron didn’t mind? Maybe the only difference was that he was well aware of it now, unlike those times.
Aron paid the fare, exchanging a few polite words with the driver, and then proceeded to extract Carter from the taxi. Extract certainly being the exact word seeing that he wasn’t sure how well he could keep himself on his feet.
Apparently quite well, he noticed as he stood next to Aron, after the taxi took off, leaving them in front of a posh boutique hotel.
“You booked a room for tonight?” Carter asked.
Ah, that meant that Aron hoped to get lucky. Well, he ended up taking Carter with him, eventually, so probably he wasn’t that lucky. Seeing Carter’s terrible performance anxiety at the moment.
“No, for a longer stay. I have ties with the owner, so I got a pretty nice deal,” Aron explained.
“Why would you stay at a hotel?” Carter questioned. “Why aren’t you staying with your parents? Or get a new place to live?”
“I’m just hoping to deal with this separation problem quickly. Plus, I haven’t exactly had the time to search for a new place,” Aron said matter-of-factly.
“That doesn’t exactly answer my first question,” Carter pointed out.
“Ah, well, there’s no way for me to deflect you, right?” Aron chuckled. “My parents don’t need the stress. They insisted that I should come to stay with them, but frankly, I think I need some time alone, to reflect a little on … you know, stuff,” the man added, his voice trailing off a bit.
“Ah, then I’m interrupting your reflections?” Carter hurried. “By coming over?”
“You definitely are,” Aron laughed. “Actually, I’m counting on it,” he added, and pulled Carter close to him, as they entered the elevator.
The dignified man in livery tending the elevator didn’t seem bothered by the public display of … whatever Aron was doing to him.
“Good evening, Mr. Ruskin. Did you have a good night?” the man inquired politely.
“Excellent, Randolf,” Aron replied cheerfully. “And it’s only getting better.”
Carter was sure that grin had been directed to him since the hotel employee was already with his back at them, fiddling with the buttons of the machinery. And that was making his heart grow small, small, small.
“That is great to hear, Mr. Ruskin. If there’s anything you would like us to bring to the room, please just let the room service know. There seems to be a quiet night.”
Carter was gently pushed out of the elevator, as Aron remained a few steps behind to tell the hotel employee something that didn’t quite reach his ears.
Most probably, because even the sound of a fanfare could not overwhelm the beating of his heart.
“We’re here,” Aron gestured toward a door which he opened quickly with his card, allowing Carter to go in.
And make a little fool of himself, as he gasped in surprise.
“Is this like a penthouse suite or something?” he said out loud. “Man, it’s like you’re in the lap of luxury.”
Aron closed the door behind them carefully and remained silent for a moment. Carter turned, and watched his best friend since forever, leaning against the door, his thumbs hung in his pockets as if he was waiting for something.
“Impressed?” Aron asked, something challenging, yet warm flickering in his eyes.
“Yeah, like how could I not be? I’ve never been anywhere this nice.”
“So? What would you like to do?”
Drop to my knees and worship your cock.
Hush, does the pervert in you never sleep?
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I’m afraid if I sit on that white sofa, I might just get it dirty just by breathing in its direction.”
Aron’s low chuckle tickled his ears.
“Please feel at home,” the host urged, but Carter didn’t feel more at ease.
As he was busy taking in his surroundings, Aron sneaked from behind and embraced him.
“You seem a little tense,” Aron whispered into his ear. “I think I have just the remedy for that. Let’s hit that jacuzzi,” he added, sliding both his hands into Carter’s, linking their fingers poker oyna together.
“Um, okay,” Carter said softly.
It was easy just to follow Aron around. But when Aron let go of his hand, to climb the few stairs to the area where Carter supposed served as the bedroom, he just stood there, looking.
With practiced ease, Aron pulled off his tank top, allowing Carter to admire his broad shoulders and muscled back. When Aron began unbuckling his belt, Carter gulped so loudly that the man turned.
“Are you going into the jacuzzi all dressed up like this?” Aron laughed. “Not that I don’t appreciate how nice you look. I wasn’t expecting that.”
“What were you expecting?” Carter mumbled.
“Just you,” Aron said simply. “I was just expecting you.”
The man’s dark gaze trained on him was so intense that Carter could swear he was just going to melt to the floor or burn like a candle. His usually overactive brain was silent, probably mesmerized with Aron, too, with how beautiful and perfect the man was.
“It’s okay, I will give you a hand,” Aron smiled a little too smugly for Carter to feel safe.
What are you afraid of, exactly?
Ah, look who decided to join the party.
The question still stands.
I’m afraid … I’m afraid that I’m going to fall and never come back up from this.
Aron interrupted his conversation to his own brain by walking over and putting his fingers on Carter’s first shirt button, proceeding carefully, with a small frown that Carter was certain he found sexy for some reason.
But the frown was slowly melting, turning into a smile, with each button giving in. When Aron slowly pushed the shirt down his shoulders, Carter knew he needed to do something, to stop or hurry this torturous pace at which things were happening.
“Aron,” he called, and his voice was broken, strange, even to his own ears.
But his best friend since forever didn’t seem in the mood for conversation. If anything, he seemed in the mood for something else. And that something else included making Carter crazy. He leaned in very, very little, and soon their lips were touching and their tongues were tasting each other, and Aron knew exactly how to make their bodies touch, too.
It was fine like this. It wasn’t exactly calming down the fluttering butterflies in his stomach, but he wasn’t required to do a thing, so everything was absolutely fine. Aron managed to undress him completely, pulling him out of his jeans he had no idea how, and soon enough he was more naked than his friend, and that had to mean something, although he didn’t dare to process what.
“Is there something wrong?” Aron murmured against his lips.
“Performance anxiety,” he whispered, very, very slowly.
“Hmm?” the man wondered, preoccupied to caress Carter’s cheeks with his thumbs as his hands cupped firmly the jawline.
“Like, you know,” Carter murmured. “How I’ll … perform.”
“Ah,” Aron seemed to understand what was going on in the other’s scattered brain. “But I have just the remedy for that. Leave everything to me.”
“Okay, cool,” Carter replied.
Aron let him go only to shed off the rest of his clothes quickly and pulled Carter by the hand, making him follow.
He barely registered the luxury surrounding him, as Aron made him join him into the hot bath. The gentle sound of the jets working was a bit soothing for his nerves, but Aron’s hands on him, and the guy’s lips were making him dizzy with a kind of excitement that now, at least, he knew something about.
Aron pulled him closer, kissing him slowly, as if not to scare him.
“Let’s take the edge off a little,” Aron whispered and pushed him until he sat on the edge of the hot tub.
He watched as the man knelt in the water, between his legs and grabbed his erection fast. Wow, his dick was really up for it, performance anxiety or not, Carter thought.
And cursed, as Aron’s engulfed the hard cock into his mouth. All right, now wasn’t the time to make a total fool of himself, by crying out loud all the pleasure coursing up his spine, to his brain, and back to his cock again.
Aron was great at deepthroating, unlike him. Even if Carter was larger than the guy’s husband, Aron seemed to have no trouble swallowing that thing down and somehow caress it with his tongue, over and over again with each move.
Talking about performance anxiety, it was clear Aron had none. He was doing a fine job, no, a great job, and he had no qualms with making Carter shiver. The fact that Carter still had his legs dangling in the hot water didn’t seem to matter. He was hot and cold at the same time.
“How is it?” Aron let go of his cock, just wrapping one hand around Carter’s balls, and stared up.
He could not speak. But he reached for Aron and pulled him up to kiss him. That had to do for an answer. Aron did kiss back, but it was clear as day that he wanted to return to the task at hand.
“No, no, no,” Carter protested, holding Aron near.
“Don’t you want to come?” Aron murmured, his intense gaze canlı poker oyna dropping to Carter’s mouth.
“But it just seems so one-sided,” Carter replied, his voice weak.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be able to make it up to me later,” Aron promised.
Aron was going down on him again, and this time was kissing his way there, creating an ebb and flow of desire that was only getting higher each time lips connected to flesh.
“You do it so well,” Carter mumbled, not knowing what else to say while he caressed Aron’s head gently.
Because he had done it so many times before? With others? Carter knew he could not afford the luxury of getting jealous over such things. Aron was his, probably for these fleeting moments only, and all he could do was to enjoy himself while it lasted.
He groaned in pure pleasure as Aron took him deep once again. Taking the edge off? Carter wasn’t sure if this was going to solve the problem. He was fighting hard not to let go, not to make a fool of himself by coming too soon, but it was damn hard to focus on that, as Aron’s mouth and throat were acting like the perfect cock sleeve, moist and hot, and squeezing in all the right places, at just the right moments.
It was good that the man was wearing his hair short because otherwise, he might have ended up with a much unpleasant hair pulling experience. Carter came, long and hard, and kept Aron’s head buried into his crotch for what seemed like a small eternity.
Aron caught him, and pulled him into a tight embrace, generous enough to share the creamy load in his mouth. Carter wasn’t minding it at all. All tasted better from Aron’s mouth. Maybe even vanilla ice cream. Although this was more like whip cream if he were to think about it.
Just that he wasn’t doing much thinking right now. There was no point in it, anyway. Aron withdrew, very slowly and very gently, and soon they were staring into each other’s eyes, with a mix of wonder and excitement, maybe with a tinge of wistfulness. At least, that was what he was reading in Aron’s deep dark eyes. Maybe he was just imagining things, but he could not exactly recall this kind of look, from the time when he had been Aron’s placeholder of a husband, and from before that, either.
It was something completely new.
“Better?” Aron asked, his smiled returning.
“Oh, yeah,” Carter smiled in turn.
“Let’s just chill a little,” Aron offered.
“Don’t you …” Carter gestured, unsure, toward the other’s manhood that now, as Aron was standing, was stiff and demanding.
“You took me by surprise that first time,” Aron explained, and pulled him down, so they could both sit and enjoy the relaxing jets. “Now I really have to assume the role of the instructor in this.”
“Instructor, huh?” Carter wondered, and Aron covered his mouth with a short kiss, again.
“Of course, what kind of friend I would be not to offer you the full course?” Aron joked.
Shut up. Does he kiss all his friends like this?
“Do you kiss all your friends like this?” he asked, considering that an interesting bit of information like that had to be explored.
Aron’s low chuckle made him tremble in an instant.
“No, just you.”
“So I’m your special friend?” Carter asked, remembering the conversation he had had at the clothing store.
“You’re special all right,” Aron laughed. “After being best friends for 25 years, I’d say you’re pretty special.”
“23,” Carter said promptly. “We had a 2-year hiatus. Plus, if we think of all that time you were away after college when I only saw you on special occasions …”
“I should not have left,” Aron interrupted him.
Say what? What is this supposed to mean?
I have no idea.
The cheerful sound of a bell interrupted his thoughts.
“That must be room service,” Aron jumped out of the hot tub and grabbed a robe to cover himself.
Can you be slower than this? Opportunity lost.
No way, we’ll get to ask him.
Aron came back a couple of minutes later and invited Carter to get out of the tub. Apparently, there was a fluffy robe readily available for him, too. He was about to move back into the main room when Aron planted a towel on his head and began rubbing it vigorously.
“Hey,” he protested from under the towel.
“I don’t want you to catch a cold,” Aron explained. “Your hair got wet a little.”
“I can do it,” Carter said.
“Sure, but am I going to let you?” Aron joked.
So he had to endure this or something. When Aron pulled down the towel, Carter looked up. There it was again. That look. What did it mean?
“Let’s take things to the bedroom,” Aron whispered. “I remember a certain promise you need to honor.”
Oh, that. Hmm, that performance anxiety was rearing its ugly head again. Aron must have had so many skilled lovers before. Although he had said something about other guys not being that many. But what did Carter know about gay sex, anyway? Except for the practice during the time when he had been in Alex’s internet casino body.
Now he wished he had more experience under the belt, pun totally intended. As Aron’s husband, he should have topped the guy more often. That would have made things a whole lot easier now.
At least Aron seemed to have things totally under control, as he was once again pulling Carter after him, making both of them land on the bed, ready for some horizontal play.
It was easy to deal with everything if Aron was in charge. The man had placed one muscular leg between Carter’s, and he was now making them kiss again.
“So, now, I have to fuck you?” Carter mumbled, not daring to open his eyes, as Aron’s lips finally allowed him to speak.
“Yeah,” Aron confirmed and laughed.
Of course he could laugh. He wasn’t the one worried in all this.
What if he came too fast? Carter began to fret internally. What if Aron was going to hate it? What if …
“Here’s a drop of liquid courage,” Aron moved away and turned back with a champagne flute.
Carter straightened up and took the glass. Well, at least his hands were steady. He waited for Aron to grab his own, but when the man turned again, he was holding a strawberry. Slowly, while all the time watching Carter, Aron dipped the strawberry into the flute and brought the fruit to Carter’s lips.
“You’re kidding me, right? Like in the movies or something? Is this the honeymoon package?” Carter began running his mouth.
“Hush, just open wide,” Aron chided him.
Hmm, that did taste interesting. Aron kissed him quick, and then made a gesture for him to have a sip.
“You’re not drinking,” Carter pointed out.
“Maybe later,” Aron said, his eyes smiling. “Now I want you just to relax a bit. And don’t worry, I won’t have you drink an entire bottle. I still expect you to … perform.”
Perform. Right. Okay.
But Aron didn’t allow him more than a couple of sips. He just took the glass away and started again to kiss Carter. This time, he began pushing the robe away, and soon they were entangled in a hot embrace.
Carter knew he only had to open his legs wider, and Aron could just sit comfortably on top and … Well, their erections were touching. Nice. And he did feel a bit more relaxed.
“How do you want me?” Aron asked, still caressing Carter’s chest slowly.
He was slow, slow, slow, tonight.
“On my fours?” Aron accompanied his new question with a new kiss.
“Oh, no,” Carter replied alarmed. “Your ass is too sexy. I’ll come before I’ll even be in.”
“Wow, have you stared at my ass a lot, then?” Aron pinched one nipple, making Carter grunt.
“Enough to know I don’t stand a chance,” Carter said in turn.
“Okay, then, the missionary position?” Aron continued his inquiry.
“Those missionaries really thought they weren’t kinky by doing it from the front?” Carter wondered out loud. “I mean, all the animals do it from behind, I mean, most of them, and humans are still animals, so, by all means, we’re the perverted ones because …”
“Shut up and fuck me,” Aron pressed his lips against his mouth again.
Okay. He could do it. He had imagined it so many times, how it would be, now that he was himself again. So he needed to just roll Aron over and be on top, right?
“I think I know how to do it, just so that you don’t have to worry taking after the perverted ways of the missionaries,” Aron spoke, half laughing.
Wow, Carter thought, as Aron straddle him fast, and sat upright while resting that delicious cleft of his ass right on top of Carter’s hard cock.
“Leave it all to me,” Aron said gently while moving only so that he could reach for the nightstand.
Carter closed his eyes. He knew, by the way Aron moved on top of him, that the guy was taking care of lubing himself now, and he also knew that he wasn’t going to do a good job at controlling himself if he was going to watch. Maybe another time. Another time definitely. He wanted to see that.
Aron moved only so that he could grab Carter’s erection – great, it was, after all, a good thing that his cock had a mind of his own, and was still standing proud – and pour plenty of lube on it, too.
But the guy’s hands were too skillful, moving up and down like that. He wanted him to stop. Or go faster. No, he still needed to perform.
“Oh, fuck,” he half-whispered, half-groaned, as Aron adjusted himself so he could descend on Carter’s cock.
“Open your eyes,” Aron demanded.
Carter obeyed, and Aron took one of his hands to guide it at the back.
“You’re damn big,” Aron smiled, and his smug grin was faltering a little, the corners of his lips twitching.
“Sorry,” Carter mumbled.
“Okay, so rule number one in gay sex,” Aron chuckled. “Don’t apologize for having a big dick.”
“Really?” Carter glared. “Maybe not all guys like that.”
“Most do,” Aron replied. “Well, or maybe just … I like the way your cock feels inside me,” he added and leaned in for another kiss.
It was a good thing that he was so distracted by the playful tongue in his mouth because he didn’t exactly notice when Aron began to move. Ah, it was so good, but he didn’t want to let go of Aron’s mouth, either.