Ashley… What have you done to me?

I barely remember how I got myself together from that yoga class room. It was like being drunk, on a hangover and extremely exhausted at the same time. I was moving slowly like in the water. She didn’t lie, saying that ‘our fun will be rough’…

But on the opposite, I remember perfectly how embarrassed I was feeling walking through the main gym to the locker-room. I must have smelled as if I bathed myself in shower gel made of pussy fluids and sperm. I had this overwhelming feeling, that every person in the building knew that we had sex and that they were staring at me. It most likely wasn’t true, but I felt that way.

I almost panicked when I realized that surveillance cameras were all over the place. Were they in that yoga room?

What if the security guys watched this unusual porn video, with me as a co-star or more as a victim of that muscular female beast? – Erratic, nervous thoughts made me hyperventilating, I just grabbed my stuff from the locker and almost ran from the building.

I jumped into my worn out, old Honda Accord and sped to my small rented flat near the border between Seattle and Renton. It’s nothing luxurious, a single room, a bathroom and a kitchen, but that was the best I could afford at that moment. Definitely not a dreamed apartament, but right then it was like a safe haven for me. At least I had a place where I could hide with all my confused emotions. And I had a lot of them, believe me…

I walked in, shut the door, blanked all the windows (it means both) and fell down on the bed like a deadweight. With the remnants of a clear mind, I texted my boss that I will be absent at work for some time, fortunately he is a good guy and won’t be making any problems.

I closed my eyes in an attempt to clear my mind, at least for the moment, but my brain was drawing her images up over and over again. I couldn’t fall asleep, it was obviously too early and I was too agitated. Finally, I gave up and started to think or rather overthink everything that had happened. At first my thoughts were totally chaotic, jumping and galloping in my mind in all directions, like a startled herd of sheep.

Oh, focus, you fucking moron! – I almost yelled this inwardly. Focus, focus, focus!

I struggled, but eventually started to analyze the whole ‘episode’ from the very beginning. To make this easier, I made some imaginary folders in my thoughts, to catalogue them or something like that.

So the first thought folder, called ‘The Challenge’, contained my jittery memories about the beginning of our encounter. She… Ashley… approached me, then mocked me, insulted me, dragged me into her mind games and finally destroyed me easily, in aspects in which I had felt so strong prior to that. Recalling memories of her inhumanly tough abdominal muscles, made me sweat coldly. I was hitting her with full force, for god sake! How could she withstand this? And how the fuck was she able to hit me so hard, without using a proper boxing technique? At all. Only the pure power of her arm. How? How did she do that?

Obviously, my ego was struck by that shameful loss in that ‘challenge’. I was beaten by a woman! With one single strike! Fuck!

I accepted that at the moment, because she made that easy to forget, with all what she did afterwards, all the sexy and amazing stuff, but lying in bed, alone with my thoughts… It was just devastating.

I had considered myself as a fighter before I met Ashley, although it hadn’t been like that when I was a teen. I was an average kid, rather shy, a little bit chubby, not so much of a sportsman type. More like a skinny-fat type of body. I was lacking confidence, I had poor experience with girls. I was in twelfth grade, when I decided to start muay thai workouts. And it helped me a lot! I lost the little fat tire, became more muscular, more agile. I gained self-confidence and girls started to notice that too. I thought I was in the best mental and physical shape of my life… until that day at the gym.

It was ridiculous, but I was wondering if I would be able to defeat Ashley in a real combat or at least in some kind of kick boxing match. Her muscles were super hard and strong, but at the end of the day, she is still human (I hoped it was true), she had to feel pain, she could be knocked out. She has to have some limits!

Of course, izmir seks hikayeleri she was very tough, strong and enduring, but I was convinced (of course, it could be foolish of me), that she would break under a barrage of multiple different strikes, knees to the torso, kicks in the thighs, elbows on the face, et cetera… Eventually I would defeat her in a hypothetical fight, but… what if she knew some martial art? What if Ashley hit me so hard without any technique and could hit me even harder if she would know how to do it properly? What if she already knew how to throw a punch, but deliberately didn’t do that, because she knew that it would hurt me severely? Or even kill me? Or she knew that throwing a technical strike wasn’t necessary, because in her eyes, I wasn’t strong enough to withstand even her ‘sloppy’ punch?

Or maybe she did not know any striking martial arts? But what if she was good at wrestling? Or judo and jiu jitsu? She would take me down and tie my limbs up in a human knot! Just imagine her nineteen inches arms choking someone out! Or breaking joints and bones like plastic toys! I wouldn’t know how to defend myself on the ground, but even if I knew, she would overpower me effortlessly.

I was writing different scenarios in my head on how I could avenge my loss in the challenge, until I got disgusted by these thoughts.

Am I really so egoistic? Am I really thinking about beating a woman, because she humiliated me? Who am I, for fuck sake? – I became angry with myself. Thinking of that made me sick. Would I hit this beautiful face with my elbow, just to ‘make us equal’? To compensate for my hurt ego? That’s insane!

I had to start thinking about something different, so I opened another ‘thought folder’, which could be called ‘Ashley’s body and strength’.

Her body and strength… good lord. Again, it was hard to describe the feeling, this mix of excitement, admiration, arousal, disbelief, unease, shame and fear. Thinking about her strength was making me feel all these contradictory emotions. That was hard to swallow for me, but she was undeniably stronger than me, talking about lifting weights. There were no doubts or excuses about it. I recalled how she curled my whole body just with her biceps, which stand for almost 90 lbs per hand. And she made ten perfect reps. I wouldn’t be able to curl even half of this. The heaviest dumbbells I ever used in biceps training were weighing 38 lbs. And they were almost tearing my muscles off!

I wondered how huge her maximum lifts had to be… for example, in bench-press. I could press 235 lbs twice. That was my limit. For her it probably wouldn’t even be a warmup weight. Deadlift, squat, soldier press… I couldn’t even imagine how huge were the weights she could lift. It made me anxious… and aroused at the same time. My hand wandered to my pants and found my dick hard as steel once again. It was weird that even imagining her lifting insane weights made me hard. That was something new. Meeting Ashley changed me. She changed me in every possible way…

I started to stroke my dick, which was swollen and sore, as I had a complete night of sex. God, she wore me out like that in just several dozens of minutes. From then, I started to dreamily think about our sex, about this epic, primal, animal sex!

I never had a clue in my head, that sex with a female bodybuilder could be so exciting. And that I would consider doing that with a muscular woman as the best sexual experience in my life!

Of course, it was rough for me, of course I was passive during it, of course she dominated me sexually, physically and mentally while we were doing it. But it was amazing!

Touching such a muscular, huge, hard body was something remarkable. If someone told me in the past, that I will have the best sex in my life with a female bodybuilder, moreover bigger and stronger than me, I would call that person a weirdo. But after Ashley, it seemed to me impossible to have such intense intimate sensations with a normal girl, even the most pretty and sexy one.

I was wondering why Ashley chose to have sex with me? Having sex with me was her plan from the beginning? Or if she just wanted to mock and dominate me, without any other reason than some kind of mean fun, and meanwhile she could get aroused out of it? I noticed that she was getting more and more aroused by her own strength. Also, seeing my admiration of her muscles, was making her wet.

But had she done something like this before? Choosing random guy at the gym, humiliating him and then fucking him? Why did she choose me? Why me? This question was making my head explode.

This was so fucked up! She messed with my mind like no one before… But I enjoyed this so much, so fucking much… She was so hot, powerful, almighty, dominating…

I started to masturbate thinking about her, her body, her behavior, her beautiful face, her blue eyes, her blond hair, which smelled so nice and her warm, smooth skin covering those enormous muscles!

After a few strokes, I knew that I would come fast. I was imagining Ashley riding me again, it lasted maybe thirty seconds and I came like a huge fountain… I had no tissues or toilet paper around, but I didn’t give a shit about it, semen launched in the air like a geyser. I closed my eyes, just for a moment and fell asleep.

I woke up later and I completely lost track of time. My hand was sticky from the sperm, so I got up with effort and waddled my way to the bathroom.

I took a long warm shower, during which I did not stop thinking about her for even a split second. Funny, but this short nap and masturbation gave me at least a touch of clarity. I knew what I wanted to do. I knew what I had to do, to not sink into an insane obsession.

I have to meet her again! Meet and invite her somewhere, I wanted to date her, I wanted her… so much.

I was aware that she may be a succubus, who enjoys to lure, seduce and then destroy any kind of man.

I knew that she can be like a mantis, which after rough sex will get bored of me and simply eat me alive. She may be like a female spider. Like the demon of desires. She can be all of that and the beginning of a potential relationship between us, may be my end in many different ways.

But I was willing to risk that, risk being rejected by her or suffering another series of humiliations.

With that goal in mind, I walked out from the bathroom and sat in front of the computer.

I have to find her – This one thought filled my entire brain.

I opened Chrome and wrote the phrase ‘Ashley bodybuilder’ in google. I’ve found a few accounts on instagram, facebook and other sites, but after looking through them, none was hers. Shit! What if she lied about her name?

But I kept trying with different phrases: ‘Ashley personal trainer’, ‘Ashley muscle girl’, ‘Ashley wrestler’, everything which came to my mind. At first, I was trying to add the word ‘Seattle’ to each phrase in order to narrow down the search result, but after a couple of minutes, I realized that it was pointless.

Nothing, nothing at all! There were multiple accounts of muscular Ashleys, but none of them was Ashley.My Ashley.

She told me a false name, for sure. Or she has a kind of nickname in social media. Or she doesn’t live here. Or… or… or… I placed my forehead on my desk in despair.

While I was looking for her, many other female bodybuilder pictures popped up in search results. There were a lot of hot muscular girls, but none was as huge and shredded as Ashley. Also, there were a lot of massive and masculine looking muscular women, but none was as beautiful and hot as Ashley. It occurred to me that ‘my’ Ashley was one of a kind.

Obviously, there were few really pretty, feminine and at the same time super massive women, unfortunately they were living all around the world, not in Seattle.

Seeing those few attractive, big and strong women, just fueled my obsession more. I need to find her somehow.

Maybe she works at that gym, where all this happened? Or any other gym in the city? I’ve checked the websites of almost every gym and fitness club in Seattle, there were a few Ashleys among instructors and trainers, but looking at their photos, one by one, was dragging my hope down. It’s not her, it’s not her! There were also three Ashleys without photos, but the first one was a Zumba instructor for seniors (I doubt honestly that ‘my’ Ashley would train some grandmas) and the second one was a physiotherapist (could ‘my’ Ashley work as a physiotherapist? Who knows…).

The third one, ‘Ashley without photo’ was the most promising, because I’ve read on her profile key words like, ‘bodybuilder’, ‘powerlifting instructor’, ‘nutrition coach’. That was more fitting. But still there was no photo and the trails ended there. Nevertheless, I add this site to fav’s, for the future, better safe than sorry.

I had spent the whole afternoon and evening looking for any trail of Ashley on the net. Without any success…

I would have sat and searched even longer, but my guts reminded me with a loud noise, that I didn’t eat anything the whole day!

I opened the fridge and took the first thing I saw, then unplugged my laptop and lay down in bed with it. I’ve checked a few ideas how else I could find her, but all in vain.

A little bit dispirited, I turned off the computer and just lay down.

I started to question myself about it…

Damn, what happened to me? I got so obsessed with her… but am I thinking rationally? Seriously, would I like to date a girl like her? I mean, what kind of woman approaches some random guy, then teases and humiliate him and after all this, has sex with him. Or even rapes him, because she is so strong, that she is able to do that. Of course, she didn’t rape me, I would never consider that as non-consensual sex, because I enjoyed this so much and she even asked me before, if I wanted to have ‘fun’ with her. And obviously I wanted to. I officially gave her consent, right?

But she raped me mentally in some way. She changed me.

Would I really want to start a relationship with someone like her? She could be a mean person. Selfish. Narcissistic. Unstable.

What would my parents say? Not that I cared very much about their opinion, but they would be shocked not only by her muscle mass, but her blatant behavior. What would my friends say? How would people look at us in public? Everybody would think that I am a henpecked boy, who found a girl stronger than him and let her dominate him.

Fuck! Why should it matter what other people think? I want to know her better. That was the single clear thought I had at that moment.

But what if she will reject me or deride my advances to her? She definitely may do that. But it was a risk I was willing to take. I won’t know if I don’t try, right? She said after all ‘see you around’, that was something I hung on to.

Another batch of doubts flooded my head.

What could I offer in a relationship with a woman like Ashley? What would she expect from her partner? What may interest her in me?

Strong and good-looking body? C’mon! She could have every bodybuilder or powerlifter on the planet. There are a multitude of guys who are stronger than me and for sure also than her, so if she would want one of them, she would have him. Maybe she likes to be stronger than her boyfriend? That’s very possible?

What else, maybe feeling safe and protected by her man? Phew, I think she can handle herself very well. Of course, there was still the question if she knew any martial arts, but even if not, she would manage with the majority of unpleasant guys just with her raw strength.

Maybe money? God, she certainly has plenty of money, she is a pro bodybuilder, model, trainer, she has sponsors for sure, etc.. I am working as a programmer and earning a nice salary, but for her it may not be important.

Sex? Again, I believe she can have any man she wants. I know, not every guy is into muscular women, but I also hadn’t been… until I met her. She turned me into a female bodybuilder’s admirer within maybe one hour or even less, so I think she would do the same with other guys.

But… I think… no, I know that Ashley enjoyed doing IT with me. She had at least three orgasms, she was impressed by my dick, she liked sex with me, she was aroused to the limit. I was sure about it. So what? Is being a human dildo the only thing I can offer to her?

My sense of humour? Stability? Love? Do I really have any chances with her? Or I want to bite more than I can chew? It was just a fluke for me to have sex with girl way out of my league? Do I still have a fucking brain inside my skull or it completely vanished, replaced by some pudding programmed to feel only lust?

My body started to get more and more sleepy, but my brain was working like a factory during war time, no breaks at all.

But I came out with a plan. I will find her somehow. I will be training at that gym and looking for her and if it fails, I will look in the other fitness club in Seattle. Eventually, we’ll run into each other. We have to.

I have to find her, if I want to be a sane person in the future….