I Licked It, So It’s Mine!

Dildo Machine

I was busy getting things out of my locker at work when I noticed one of the teachers, Helen Katz, bending over to find something in her own, which was at a rather lower level than mine. Admittedly, as principal of John Paul Jones High School, I really shouldn’t have stared at the exposed butt-crack, even the top part that Helen flashed me, but it was hard to look away. After all, if I had that much self-control, I wouldn’t be divorced, pointedly for my own infidelity (though I sometimes wondered if she had been cheating and I just got caught first). I’m not a dumbass, but I had a wandering eye and always have. My sexual prowess is both my vice and my virtue, my strength and my weakness at once.

Luckily for me, I wasn’t rich enough to lose my shirt, as the courts weren’t about to stick it to a struggling teacher (I wasn’t principal yet), even one with trouble keeping it in his pants. I think that, also, the judge was also a man who was perhaps a little tired of religious hypocrites like my ex-wife and may have shared my suspicion of her own adultery, because he kept the pain to the absolute bare minimum, making me lose only the house, no alimony (I was too poor, okay?), no child support (we didn’t have kids yet), splitting the retirement funds evenly, and giving me the only vehicle that I really wanted in the divorce: my Ford Ranger. I was able to get the savings account, in exchange for my ex-wife Erica keeping the checking one, and she got all of the utilities, too.

If looks could kill, the judge would be dead, from the steam coming out of the ears of my ex and her lawyer after they got the bum’s rush from his judgment. He even deducted the loss of my shirts that she lit ablaze on the front lawn from her share of the bank account and gave her an injunction, on pain of citation for contempt, against ever doing anything like that again. Yeah, on reflection, I’m pretty sure that he and I saw things more or less eye to eye.

Tired of living in a crappy apartment thanks to my modest teacher’s salary, I eventually moved in with my brother Darren, who needed a roommate, anyway. I wasn’t sure why he needed a roommate, though, as it wasn’t for financial reasons at all. His current girlfriend, Salome, also crashed there and had started to pitch in with expenses from her stripper pay. Yes, Salome was an “exotic” dancer, much like her biblical namesake, and she made bank, twice as much as Darren and I put together on a GOOD week! What she saw in Darren, I didn’t know, but it damn sure wasn’t the money. He did okay as a locksmith, but nowhere near to that level. Sure, he was my brother and I loved him, but he wasn’t always the sharpest tool in the shed. Then again, he had the good sense to avoid holy matrimony so far, so that’s a leg up on me.

Anyway, back to Helen Katz, the sexiest teacher that I had ever met in all of my days on this green Earth, and that includes the ones that I recall from my own days as a student. Suffice it to say, while she wasn’t conventionally a great beauty as most think of it, her ass was to die for and her mischievous, playful attitude gave me regular hard-ons. I found myself staring a bit too long, though, because I suddenly heard a cough coming from her direction. I could see why she was named after the famous Spartan queen for sure, as she looked even more desirable with a blush on her cheeks.

“Take a picture, boss. It’ll last longer. Look…you wanna hang out somewhere? It’s clear that you don’t mind my company, or at least my butt’s company, and I’m afraid that I’m rather attached to my booty. I would rather not be alone tonight,” Helen mockingly chided me for ogling her ass as she essentially asked me out on a date, much to my astonishment.

“Well, if you’re okay with something truly lazy, there’s my place. You could crash with me, no pressure, no harassment, I swear, we could just watch TV or play games, eat pizza, hang out with my brother and his girlfriend, if they’re there, maybe even get a little drunk. It’s Friday afternoon, after all, and we’re done with faculty senate, you know,” I offered, unsure of how she’d take that idea.

“So…I could spend the night, right?” Helen invited herself now.

“Yes, you could spend the night, I believe. I don’t think that Darren will mind me having guests, as he’s urged me to have people stay overnight. I think that he either worries about me or wants an excuse to meddle, or else is easily bored, which takes some doing, since he’s dating a stripper,” I chuckled now.

“A stripper, you say? Maybe I can ask her for tips on how to get a man’s motor revved up,” Helen’s eyes danced with her mischievous thoughts.

“Well, I can’t speak for others, but I don’t think that you have any troubles there, girlie,” I laughed as we flirted a little more…it was a good thing that I had some clout as principal, enough to keep the yahoos and naysayers away from the school board before they could censor me.

“In that case, let’s go. I have plans, boss. Fancy karabağlar escort plans…and pants to match,” Helen teased me some more.

“Hey, that’s a quote from Newsradio, isn’t it?” I caught on, making her laugh.

“Good, I hoped that you shared my tastes in TV programming. At least we both appreciate Stephen Root’s comic genius as Jimmy James, don’t we?” Helen winked at me as we walked out the door to the parking lot, “is it okay if I want to ride with you, boss?”

“Sure, but why do you keeping calling me ‘boss,’ anyway?” I probed, truly confused by that pattern.

“Because that’s what you are. You’re the boss. I’m a regular teacher. You’re the principal. Ergo, you’re the boss and you really shouldn’t be taking your subordinates home, but I won’t tell a soul, boss. My lips are sealed,” Helen’s eyes truly took on a devilish smile.

“Glad to hear, because I like my job, believe it or not,” I told her, not adding that part of the appeal was access to teachers and mothers of the sort that I wanted to bed.

“I can see why. Sexy mommies, you know, the MILFs and soccer moms, plus some teachers that I hear might be a little hot to trot. You know any teachers like that, boss?” Helen snickered as we stopped by a liquor store to pick up some spirits before reaching Darren’s home.

“You might want to stay in the truck. Someone might think I’m a straw buyer if they see you, ’cause there’s no way that you look older than twenty, tops,” I teased Helen a little, but she honestly didn’t look her age at all.

Of course, instead of staying in the truck, Helen not only followed me into the store, she took my hand as if we were lovers. She even put her arms around my waist a few times, and there was the open-mouthed tongue kiss that she gave me in front of the whole store. I thought for sure that she was teasing and joking, but I enjoyed the kiss and played along. After all, if nothing, it made me look like a stud and nobody there likely recognized me as a principal or her as a teacher. It might even draw some interest and attention from other girls who really would desire me that way. It was a fun game, anyway, right? Besides, Helen was one hell of a kisser. That girl knew her moves when it came to kissing for sure!

“Oh, God, man, where did you get that kind of game?” the store clerk blurted aloud before catching herself.

“Game?” I inquired, truly curious.

“Yeah, man, I’d give my right tit to be able to land a chick like her!” the cashier declared, “sorry if that’s shocking, but it’s not as easy to be a lesbian as you think.”

“Hey, girlie, if you’re gay, you have at least one advantage. You’re a girl. You know how girls think and feel, because that’s how you think and feel, too, at least somewhat. Just think of what might appeal to you and do it for her,” Helen suggested, making the cashier blush a little and nod.

“Yeah, she’s not just a pretty face,” I assured the Sapphic clerk.

“Good. I like them smart. It’s just not her beauty that I like. It’s her smile, her attitude, her obvious brains. And it’s great advice, most of the time, though I’m not a normal girl. Normal girls are straight, after all,” the cashier told us as she looked at our choices: Captain Morgan and Jack Daniels’, “hard liquor, eh? Which of you has ‘a little Captain in you,’ huh?”

“Well, if I have my way, there could well be a little ‘captain’ in me, only he’s not so little, is he?” Helen made very frank sexual innuendo now.

“Okay, then…serious straight people TMI there,” the clerk scoffed, but with enough humor to make it clear that she was facetious.

“Alright, let’s get out of here,” I took Helen’s arm and led her to the truck, pulling out and heading to the house that I shared with Darren and his girlfriend.

“Yes, sir, boss!” Helen told me, winking at the clerk, “oh, and for your information, I’m bi.”

“So, wow…you put on quite an act there, missy, didn’t you?” I commented as we drove and Helen tuned my radio station to crank out some Aerosmith.

“Who says that I was acting, boss? Oh, no, sir, I wasn’t joking about anything,” Helen told me as we went inside my place, only to catch Darren in the act of boffing Salome…and hard.

“I shouldn’t have been shocked. Date a stripper, get plenty of rough sex,” I joked, triggering a middle finger from Salome, but also a giggle from her and a grin from Darren, even as she abruptly came from him spending himself inside her…or maybe from being watched.

“Hey, I’m not judging. Rough sex is the bee’s knees, if you ask me,” I was quick to add.

“Duly noted, boss,” Helen snickered, slapping my ass suddenly, which made my mouth gape.

“Boss?” Salome laughed, “you’re dating one of your teachers, eh?”

“Eh, yes, my Canuck friend. If I have any say about it. I’ve already claimed him, but he hasn’t accepted it yet,” Helen winked at her.

“Claimed me? As what?” karaburun escort I expressed my confusion.

“Look, you’re my boss. We can’t be a serious item, I get that. I know that. It’s a serious turn-on to screw the boss, though, and I’ve decided that life’s too short to deny myself such a naughty experience, at least one guilty pleasure, while I live and breathe on this poisoned planet of ours. Romance is dead in the water, since we’re colleagues, but I’m talking about sex here, with maybe a liberal dose of affection.

“Just not…you know, a heavy relationship. We can date. We can fuck. We can make love. We just can’t…you know, marry or anything like that. And since we can’t be…too deeply involved, that makes any issues of fidelity moot, right? So, let’s kick back and take it easy. Just do what comes naturally and we enjoy, okay? But make no mistake, Mr. Big Shot Principal, sir. You’re getting laid tonight, and so am I,” Helen warned me upfront.

“Oh, so like Darren and me, then,” Salome clarified something, “we’re lovers, sure, but we’re not…looking for a major commitment here, you know. It’s just too much pressure, at least while I’m doing…you know, what I do for a living. I’ve seen my co-workers get serious boyfriends and they always, always, always get two things: lap dances of their own…and jealousy over the ones that we give. Now, neither is wrong per se, but combine them and you have some serious hypocrisy…and trouble. Darren has the right attitude. He’s playing this by ear and enjoying the fun and games with me. He’s not getting all hung up and crazy because I do what I do.”

“Well, I can’t say that I’ve never dated one of my teachers, because I have, of course. This is just the first time that one of them has had the decency to admit that there is…you know, a poor prognosis for anything long-term. Just what did you have in mind, Helen? A booty call thing, or something between that and a big romance?” I confronted Helen, even as she put her arms around me and started kissing my neck.

“Hey, I had one idea, if you’re open to it. We can eat pizza, as you said, drink our booze, and then play a little game of mine, that I’ve wanted to play for some time now,” Helen proposed, her eyes flickering with serious mischief now, even as she started pouring shots of rum for herself and sour mash whiskey for me.

Darren, for his part, was a Bombay Sapphire gin and tonic man, while Salome stuck to her tequila, all Jose Cuervo, all the time. We didn’t eat more than a few slices of pizza a piece, and we were all goofing around, full of risque jokes, even had Salome and Helen mooning the delivery guy and twerking each other in front of him…I swear the poor guy had a real boner by the time that he left.

“So…how about this game of yours? I thought that I had played every game I could, both before and after I got involved with Darren. As you might have guessed, neither of us are that hung up on fidelity and such. We don’t sweat it, other people, one way or the other. So, what’s the worst that can happen? Why not try a new game if there’s one to be had?” Salome finally suggested, reminding Helen, who had flashed her pale, smooth ass to both of us…and the stripper, and vice versa.

“Okay, then…here it goes. It’s called, ‘I licked it, so it’s mine.’ There, that’s the deal. The way that this works, you lick a body part, but only if the other person agrees to it. If they are sufficiently thrilled with your performance, you own that body part. It’s yours. You have full usage rights to it and no take backs. It’s for keeps. For life. Also, there’s a cap of two body parts owned by each person, regardless of whose they are. Anyone up to the fun now?” Helen stunned us all.

“Wait, I thought that you said that this was strictly casual, you and me, no strings attached,” I pointed out.

“Well, actually, what she said was that there was no hope for marriage and serious romance, long-term relationship, heavy, mushy soulmate crap, since you work together and it could cause trouble from that. This is…kinky like crazy, maybe somewhat romantic in its own way, certainly erotic enough, and a degree of long-term commitment of its own, just not the stuff that reads well on a Hallmark card or in one of their films.

“No reason that we can’t make a pact to honor our deals and still date others, if we’re upfront with them about the truth. That would be a great way to weed out the jealous loonies, right? I can dig it, savvy?” Salome’s lovely mocha eyes glimmered with her enthusiasm that shone on her equally dark skin, a real Nubian goddess right then.

“So, everyone in, then?” Darren asked, apparently eager to get on with it, for reasons of his own that escaped me back then.

“How would this be enforced, then?” I inquired, truly confused.

Helen shrugged and told me, “Relax, bro. It’s just going to be the honor system. Nothing to enforce it, as that karşıyaka escort would be rape. We’re just going to have trust each other.”

“That’s a serious decision to make while drunk, and here you said no major commitments,” I pointed out.

“Okay, maybe I fudged the truth a little. Can you blame me? I badly want some action from you, boss. Come on, Damien,” Helen pleaded with me, actually using my given name for once, “I don’t mind risking my body parts to your tongue, either. Take your pick. If I’m at all pleased with what you do with your tongue, you’ll get permanent access to that body part for life, no questions asked.”

“Okay, but I want you to do me a favor. Find that store clerk and go on a date with her. She’s very attracted to you and I think that you’d enjoy dating her. Just a hunch. Just let her know upfront that there is one body part, at least one, that she’ll have to share with me. Besides, you’re bi, and while that doesn’t necessarily preclude monogamy, you’re not the faithful sort any more than I am, I believe. You need cock, but you always need pussy, am I? You’re not content to just imagine or remember either one,” I observed, making Helen nod.

“Yeah, that clerk looked yummy. I wouldn’t mind tasting her twat. Whatever you do, let me keep my mouth free, okay? I want the freedom to eat her out as much as I like. Take your pick of the rest of me, though,” Helen invited me, her tone unmistakable.

“Alright now, if we’re going to play this, let’s all take showers first, so that the body parts that we lick are nice and clean, okay?” I suggested, getting general agreement.

“Very well, but you and I are taking our shower together. I’ve fantasized about showering with you the longest time, boss,” Helen urged me, following me into the bathroom for the shower and stripping eagerly.

“Wow, you got the hots for me, then, don’t ya?” I teased her.

“And you for me, admit it! You especially enjoy my ass, the way that I flash it at you. You love being teased by me,” the sexy brunette taunted me.

“Okay, guilty as charged,” I confessed with a grin, while I washed her and felt her up.

“Mmmmm…I’ll date that cutie, but I’m not giving you up. You’ll just have to share me. On the upside, I’m not a jealous bitch and if you double dip with Salome, I won’t object. In fact, the idea of you pounding her kinda turns me on. It’s not like your brother’s gonna mind. He and she all but told us that they have an understanding. Same kind of understanding that I’d want with you,” Helen encouraged me to lust after my brother’s stripper girlfriend.

“You think it’s hot because you’re a voyeur or because you like the whole interracial thing? Or because you want to taste pussy on my cock?” I picked on her a bit while she washed and fondled me.

“Yes, guilty on all counts. I admit, catching your brother in the act of fucking that black cutie, wow, that was sexy as hell! I can definitely see the appeal!” Helen fessed up.

“Me, too. She’s very sultry, that woman. How do you see this going down, by the way?” I teased her a little more.

“Who knows? I like the uncertainty of it, and I love your idea of showering first. That way, no one will be discouraged by issues of hygiene, plus I see you naked at last…and honey, I’m very impressed with what you’re packing down there,” Helen told me, kneeling to kiss and lick me, “relax, boss, this doesn’t count against you. We’re not all showered yet. Tempted as I am to claim your cock, it should remain yours. For one very simple reason.”

“What’s that?” I asked her, truly curious now, as I came down her throat, much to her delight.

“Because you’re the boss. I shouldn’t own my boss’s cock, should I? You wouldn’t be my boss, would you, not much of one, if I did. So, while I might claim another part of you, the dick…no. Just no. You’re the boss. You’re in charge. That’s how it should be. It feels right, doesn’t it? You bossing me around. Telling me what to do. That’s how it should be. You’re older and you’re the boss. You get to be bossy with me. I get to be bossy with others, which I admit that I can be, so you’ll have to keep me in line,” Helen told me, even as we dried off and Darren and Salome opened the door to see us naked.

“Oh, shit, it’s true! Brothers do have dick in common! Thick dick!” Salome exclaimed, licking her lips, “come on, lover, so I can wash you and ravage you!”

“Another reason not to do monogamy, ain’t it?” Darren spoke as they started to undress in front of us, “and damn, Helen…you’re gorgeous!”

“Yeah, I can see that we’ll have to do some serious swapping or sharing or something, won’t we, lover?” Salome told him as she played with his package and ran the water.

“Maybe we should go now and leave them some privacy,” I said, but I heard a cough from Darren, “you’re not so bad yourself, Salome.”

“Bro, no need for that. Salome’s a stripper, remember? She doesn’t mind if you guys watch us shower, and frankly, neither do I,” Darren chuckled now as they washed each other off.

“You got that right, Mister Stud,” Salome told us, kneeling to suck him just as Helen did to me, “you guys really are twins, aren’t you?”

“Identical and everything,” I answered for him, putting a big smile on Salome’s face.

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