Mourning Sunshine

Not quite sure where this story came from. This may not be to everyone’s taste and may make some of you a touch uncomfortable – but all is consensual with no violence. It is what it is. I’m sure you’ll let me know what you think. As pure fiction any resemblance to persons living or dead, or recognizable locations or events is a pure coincidence

******

Andy felt deeply satisfied on returning to his regular daily walk after all the hoopla around his seventy-fifth birthday. His mind retraced the party with both his children and four of the five grandies and the fun time and love they had thrown at him.

The only disappointment at the party was that his eldest granddaughter, Ella, was off trekking around Europe for a month. She was his secret favorite, although he was very careful not to show any bias to any particular grandchild. He was proud of her achievements as a graduate nurse from UPenn, with a major in psychology, and with two years solid experience at a hospital in Philadelphia.

Andy felt a suppressed pride when he heard the full story about the latest happenings to Ella. She had landed a plum job at detox and rehab centre for the rich and famous at twice the salary with full accommodation on a two-thousand-acre ranch out west. The job started in two months.

Ella quit her job in Philly, moved home to wait out the time before she started. On a whim she took off to travel around Europe. Andy was not clear when was she was due back to prepare matters before starting the new position.

All was not fun and light at the party for Andy. He would have happily foregone the celebration had Val, his wife of fifty years, survived the two years since the pancreatic cancer had taken her from his life. He still missed Val so much.

Andy felt as though he had emerged from his grief six months earlier and established a routine that saw him walk for an hour each day around the neighborhood and nearby trails when it was above freezing and dry. He jumped on the treadmill set up with a TV in the basement when the weather was inclement.

In his quiet moments, when he was not physically active, he knew he still mourned the death of his Val.

Many of the people he knew when Val and he were a life-loving couple together had slipped away from him. Only two close friends remained in occasional contact, and they had backed off to be no more than acquaintances. Both were uncomfortable as they saw Andy as slightly different person than he had been with Val. They wondered about some of his strange behaviours he had developed but remained in contact with him despite his flaws. All his neighbors and others in the area became accustomed to seeing this elderly gentleman trekking around the area in his work boots, using tall walking poles and always wearing a head covering.

Andy was now able to think about Val every day without distress, but a deep-seated sadness remained. The daily walk was prime time to visit his memories of her. He replayed how they met as rooky teachers at a new school time and time again. She was the junior in the English department. He was tasked to establish the new mechanical shop for those with less than academic aspirations.

As he walked, on different days he thought about out specific parts of their life together.

Just four months after meeting Val, they announced their intention to marry. They were both twenty-three. Despite the pressure on them, and perhaps with some intent to rebel against the advice, they went ahead immediately with a modest civil marriage ceremony. Everyone expected their marriage to last no more than three years. Fifty years later, they just made their golden wedding anniversary with the celebration being held in a hospice. Val died five days later.

Val stayed at home with their two children until they entered the first grade before returning to her teaching at the same school as Andy. They both lived their full working life in the classroom and shop at the same school, ending up with good pensions when they retired as early as they could.

Financially, their early days were a bit of a struggle living in a rental house on their starting salaries. Things got worse when after a year Val become pregnant with and gave birth to Kate. Two years later, William arrived exactly nine months after Andy and Val took a cruise given to them by Val’s parents. Val went on birth control pills and their family was complete.

It took a decade of careful budgeting, and some financial help from their parents before they could afford to buy a modest single storey, elevated ranch-styled house on a good-sized lot. Andy finished the basement, did all the maintenance, and created a significant vegetable garden. The budget did not stretch to vacations away, just day trips.

The area of the high-ceilinged basement stretched out to be the same as the ranch house. Val thoroughly enjoyed doing the laundry. He did not understand her pleasure at this activity but ensured he built a bursa escort very large, well-lit laundry room with a central ironing bench, hanging drying area and a large linen cupboard. The double doors closed off what was understood to be Val’s exclusive domain, such that Andy only went in there by invitation to clear the dryer extract duct of fix the washer. He never questioned her control over this space, which he had meticulously built to her specifications.

Another decade later they both received substantial bequests around the same time from relatives who had died. They were able to pay off their mortgage with money to spare. They all went to Disneyland to celebrate, the one destination family holiday they ever took. There was enough left over for Andy to fulfill his lifelong dream. They bought a somewhat run-down lakefront cottage in northern Minnesota. Thereafter all vacations were spent at the cottage.

Andy meticulously upgraded the cottage property to a point it gradually became a full serviced, comfortable house, again with a generous laundry room. When not making improvements, he was fishing or hunting. Val mainly read a lot, and cooked wonderful meals.

Between them they decided not to trade up from their old ranch home for a new, larger modern house as they knew the kids would soon leave and they had no desire to rattle around in a large mansion, even though by this time they were able to afford a more spacious place.

The children won good scholarships and went to university. Kate finished her fine arts degree already pregnant with Ella. The father, James, married Kate, and their marriage, although rocky at times, endured. James went on to be a successful lawyer. Several years later they added two more daughters to their brood.

Andy’s and Val’s son, William, became a civil engineer and found a procession of assignments overseas with increasing responsibilities, seniority and pay. He always came home to his parents when back in the country. He eventually met a twenty-year-old on a visit home, married her, and settled down in a well-paid senior position at a consulting engineering company. They quickly produced twin boys, before shutting down any further expansion of their family.

Both Kate and William lived within half-an-hour of the parents. This was good news for Val and Andy. They loved their kids and, as they came along, the grandchildren spent enough time with them to become very mutually comfortable with each other. Andy or Val happily spent innumerable times supporting, and transporting the grandies to play soccer, football, volleyball, swim meets, track and field events, hocky and tennis. They loved their growing grandchildren.

This was particularly true for the eldest grandchild, Ella, Kate’s early woops child. Being the first to start the next generation and, initially, as the only grandchild, Ella had sleep overs with Val and Andy on a regular basis. Andy’s favorite time were the weekend sleepovers in the early days when Ella came into their bed early on a Sunday morning and snuggled between Val and Andy.

After Val’s death Kate and William made sure they had regular contact with their father by telephone at least twice a week and Andy visited one of them every Sunday for a full family lunch.

Once over the initial grieving period, Andy started writing a memoir in an episodic format often from the particular memories he had conjured up on his walks. As each chapter was complete on a more-or-less monthly basis, he would send it to his children and grandies. Both Kate and William noticed two things that stood out when considering the memoir; the comparison of vagueness of his descriptions of his early years to the sudden change containing detailed accuracy of his life after he met Val, and the fact he referred to himself in the third person throughout the pieces.

He explained his use of the third person to Kate and William by telling them that he felt he was looking down on his life from a drone. His children worried that he was detaching himself from reality and his own personality. Although over his raw grief, the residual mourning continued.

As for the accuracy of detail of his life with Val, he did not share any information, and he brushed it off. They also accepted his new slightly eccentric walking dress, the constant covering of his head, even indoors with them, and several small quirks he used in his daily life.

Val’s dying words to Andy were, “Look at the back of the linen cupboard”. With the funeral and all the administrative steps necessary after a person dies, it was month before Andy looked in the linen cupboard. Val’s puzzling last words were etched in his memory.

With a little exploration, behind carefully stacked pillowcases he discovered just under one-hundred hard-bound exercise books with dates on their spines. Looking in them, he quickly learned that Val had kept a daily journal for all their married life, with an entry a day. He smiled to himself as he rationalized bursa escort bayan that she was an English major after all.

It occurred to Andy he had seen these exercise books before. During the early years of their marriage, before they moved into their ranch house and before Andy had finished the basement, he often saw Val writing in them. He always thought they were to do with school and never asked about them. Each entry was headed by the day and the date and on the next line were blocks of capital letters that made no sense to Andy.

Sitting in his comfortable chair in the lounge, he examined several weeks of entries. After wrestling with riddle before him for some time, Andy figured out the first letter of each groups, M. A. E. and N, probably referred to morning, afternoon, evening, or night. The other letters in each block totally baffled him: he could no sense of H, B, T, V, A, Mo, F, C used in various combinations, nor an O or J with a number to finish the majority of all the little blocks.

After several weeks puzzling over possible solutions to the code he had an idea: he remembered the dates of the one time they had taken a cruise on their own. Val’s parents had treated them to the vacation and taken Kate for the week. Andy particularly remembered the trip because of their peak sexual performance, never to be completely replicated. They often talked about and refreshed those shared memories particularly after a good sex session because of the wild time they had. Although it was a cruise in the Caribbean, they only took one island tour. They spent most of their time in the spacious cabin, mainly on the bed. He finished two twelve-packs of the thin condoms. One or more must have failed. William was conceived.

Andy decided to check the dates of the cruise covered by in the books and then compared the entries in the book with his memories of the cruise. After some back and forth over the course of an hour or so, he had an ah-ha moment and discovered that he had found the Rosetta stone for breaking the codes.

It still took quite a while to figure out all the terms even once he knew what to look for: the letters referred to their sex. H for hand, B for blowjob, T for titty fuck, V for vaginal, A for anal, Mo for mouth, F for fingers, C for Cock, J for ejaculation and O for orgasms. The number was the number of times the activity occurred. He then tracked back over earlier dates and confirmed his findings around specific events he could recall.

Having solved the problem that had been bothering for weeks he did not know what to do with the information. He casually contemplated lifting the information of their sexual activity and putting it on a spreadsheet to find the number of times and the nature of all their sexual activities over fifty years – eighteen-thousand, two-hundred, and fifty days. A daunting task, but he knew he would get around to it one day.

Each day in the journals also told of all of Val’s activities throughout the day and her thoughts. The entries painted a clear picture of their life together and was the main source of Andy’s later memoirs.

******

Andy was on the downhill homestretch at the end of his walk when a Honda Fit pulled up beside him and honked. He looked across and saw Ella grinning. He went across to the open passenger window.

“What you doing home?”

Ella commanded, “Nice welcome! Jump in we’re going for a coffee. Starbucks still on Main?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Andy levered himself into the passenger seat.

“Arrived home yesterday. Been thinking about you a lot while I was away. How you doing?”

“Fine.” He did not know what else he could answer.

She frowned as she spotted something odd, “So why are you wearing a Holter monitor.”

“Just trying to catch the occasional arrhythmia I’ve been getting. Nothing too serious.”

“If you say so.” Ella let it go but was now worried.

They ordered cappuccinos; regular for Ella and decaffeinated for Andy. As they chatted about Ella’s travels in Europe, Andy stiffened up. Ella observed his face go red and then pale.

“You okay?”

“One of those heart disturbances.” He gave a faint smile, “Hey, don’t worry. It’s good news. It’ll be caught on the Holter at last. First time in four attempts. I think they may have given me a caffeinated coffee.” Andy did some deep breathing, “I tend to go into shock when I get the palpitations. I’m such a wimp.”

“Let’s get you home.” Ella’s professional nursing instincts kicked in. Once home he used his prescribed nitro spray and seemed to settle down. Ella stayed with him for several hours checking his blood pressure regularly. Once his color was back to normal, she left him with instructions to stay in bed.

After a family conference that evening, Ella moved into a spare bedroom with her grandfather for as long as it took before she started work.

The results of the Holter were rushed through and Andy saw his cardiologist two days later. The escort bursa good news was that he had Premature Ventricular Contractions – PVC. They are not fatal, just annoying. He was put on a beta blocker and their frequency diminished.

The following Sunday Andy was just waking up when he felt Ella slipping into the bed by him. “Can I cuddle, gramps?”

“Sure kiddo. Behave yourself though. No ‘Gramps’. I hate that name. Either Grandpa or Andy.”

“You’re no fun, gramps. Oops. I mean grandpa.” She snuggled up to his right side and he wrapped his arm around he so her head was on his side chest. “I remember doing this as a kid. It was great.”

“You were a real fidget after about two minutes. Still, Val and I loved it. How long can you stay still now? I’m counting!” Andy chuckled to himself.

Ella asked, “Not sure if I remember this right, but I don’t recall you wearing PJs. Did you?”

Andy hesitated before answering, “No. You grandmother and I slept in the nude at that time. It was another twenty years before we became conventional.”

“I had this feeling about the skin contact. It was comforting. Still is I guess.”

Andy had no idea whether this was a just straight forward observation or was leading somewhere. He thought he had the answer when Ella sat up and told him she had to put a wash on.

He glanced over at the clock, “Told you. You lasted four minutes. See, still a fidget.”

Ella swatted him and left the bed laughing. “Don’t worry, I’ll show you. I do have staying power, you know!”

Andy could not help noticing once more how much Ella looked and moved like Val. He quietly choked up as she disappeared to do the washing.

Ella accompanied Andy on his walk the next day. They chatted about her time in Europe. After giving a verbal description of the highlights of her itinerary, laughing, she mentioned she had a few summer hook ups from the youth hostels where she stayed and about guys she met in clubs.

“What does ‘hook-up’ mean these days? Anyway, isn’t that dangerous for an attractive young woman like yourself?”

“I’m careful. I, so far, have had a good nose for the sketchy guys. In fact, I met some great guys. Had some wonderful dates with some great sex. Those French men know what they are doing. So, hook-ups are passing dates with benefits. Got it?”

“Got it. Sowed some of your wild oats. There were the days when only the guys were supposed to do that.”

“It’s twenty-seventeen, Grandpa. Women now admit to getting horny. I bet you used to get horny at my age. Didn’t you? Tell me honestly.”

Andy paused for a moment, “Sure I got horny. But I met Val. She threw a fence around me. I was hers and hers alone. She was as horny as me, truth be told. We fell in lust, and it quickly developed into love, but the lust remained.”

“You’re telling me you were a horny old goat! Ha! Now I know where I got it from.”

“Don’t forget your mother. Kate must have been as well, but she was not as careful as you seem to be, and I’m pleased about it because we have you. You aren’t pregnant, are you?”

“Grandpa! Of course not. I know what I am doing. As a nurse I should do. Back to you, how long did it last? The horniness?”

“Until about a couple of years before your grandmother was diagnosed with the cancer.”

“Wow! That long! You old dog, you.”

“True. I guess I have high testosterone levels, or something. And Val was always ready for me. If I was slow off the mark she came after me, keeping me on my toes so to speak.”

Ella remained curious, “With Val no longer keeping you on your toes what about now?”

“That, my dear, is not up for discussion.” The finality in Andy’s voice stopped Ella from pressing the question but she was still curious, both from a professional and personal standpoint, to know how her grandfather handled his former rampant sexuality. She had a plan form in her mind.

Ella slipped in with Andy the following morning. Her hand moved across his chest, undid one button on his PJs and slipped her hand over Andy’s heart. “Feels regular.” He wondered how she could feel the beat, but as a nurse he assumed they were trained to do this. She left her hand there and then started playing with his left nipple. He felt a mild twinge run through his torso with a slight wave of pleasure running down to his scrotum and cock.

“Steady there.”

“Andy, I’m just playing. I like doing this.” She flicked his nipple again few times and then gave it a soft pinch. “Like that, grandpa? Most men do not admit to it, but most do.” she continued.

Andy felt the pleasure slowly increasing. He was on the horns of dilemma. He knew he should stop her but could not forego the whisper of sexual arousal that was already washing over his loins. Something he had not felt for many years. He was reassured he could still experience such a sensation but felt guilt it was at the hands of his granddaughter.

“Just teasing grandpa.” Ella jumped out of bed. She went to the window and drew the curtain aside. “It’s snowing out. Up you get. Time to get on your treadmill. Move it.” She adopted her no-nonsense mode she often used with reluctant patients. She saw his partially tumescent cock peeking through the opening in his PJ bottoms.