It was a beautiful day in May in the sunny southeast. Humidity was low and the temperature was a cool 70 degrees.
Waiting in line at the local coffee drive thru, I thought of my to do listing for today.
1. Mail package to Rachel. Done!
2. Pickup laundry. Done!
3. Get oil changed in the car. Done!
I have my whole to do listing complete and it is only 10 am. Damn I am efficient.
Sipping my latte at the traffic stop I noticed a gorgeous young lady in a new mustang looking my way. I must have made a facial expression cause she smiled and said “hi!” while waving her hand. That was so odd. People did not just wave at me in traffic. For whatever reason this stayed on my mind all day.
Arriving at the gym I placed my things in my locker and started my stretching. At 50, I found I need to stretch before and after all my workouts. Since Patrick passed away a couple years ago of a sudden heart attack, I have been avid about my diet, physical fitness and well being. I attend yoga three times a week and practice at home.
While I was stretching the gorgeous young lady in the mustang was walking out of the locker room on the other side of the gym. Again, she smiled and waved hi to me. I was totally lost with this situation. Do I know her? Have I talked to her in the gym before and my 50 year old mind can not remember. “I would remember talking to someone that gorgeous.” I thought.
While she was leaving the gym I was looking at her exit the building. Her skirt was a mini,mini,mini skirt and the fishnet stockings were killer. She turned to open the door, bumping that sculptured ass on the handle, she looked one last time in my direction and caught me staring at her. She waved and blew me a kiss. I turned several shades of red.
“Why was I so obsessed with this young lady? Why was she choosing me to wave to and blow kisses towards?” I kept thinking.
I have been heterosexual all my life. I was a married Catholic women who was faithful, moral and a heterosexual. Why was it that my womanhood was suddenly tingling and aroused? I tried lifting weights and doing squats but all I could do was visualize her lovely smile and gorgeous body.
I looked down to pick up the two strands of heavy ropes and was shocked to notice I had a wet spot right in front of my crotch. It ran down my leg like I had pissed my pants. I was mortified. “What the fuck is that?” I thought.
Scared, I picked up my towel and casually held it in front of my crotch. Walking to the shower I ran into Heather, my trainer. “Light day?” she asked. “Oh, hi Heather, No just not feeling well. Thought exercise would help make me feel more energized but I am just not feeling it today.” “I am going to call it an early day today.” I said and headed straight to the locker room.
Thankfully I was alone in the locker room when I disrobed. I was absolutely stunned when I took off my panties and noticed a white cream all over my black lacy panties. My bush was no longer curly free, it was matted with this white cream. “Am I sick? or have I got some kind of std?” I thought. I was mortified. I did not know what to think.
I put all of my things in my bag and made a b-line for the door. Once in the car I kept telling myself to relax, this was nothing, you are overreacting. Over and over I was trying desperately to calm myself down.
A sudden tap on my window startled me. Heather was looking at me with concern. I let the window roll down and looked at Heather. “Mrs. C, are you alright? You look flushed like you are going to pass out.” She asked.
“I am just overwhelmed by something that’s all Heather.” I blurted out.
“Anything I can help with?” Heather asked kindly.
“Thank you Heather, but I will be fine. Just need some rest I suppose.” I answered back.
Heather reached into the car and put her hand on my shoulder to comfort me. I immediately got the jolt of sparks in my vaginal area again. “You take care Mrs. C. Call or text if you need to talk.” Heather said worriedly.
As Heather walked towards her car I rolled up my window and I was shocked. The thought hit me suddenly, I had to confirm my suspicions.
Racing to the house I entered my living room only to find my 18 year old daughter Madeline, Maddie for short, stretched out on the living room couch with her arm reaching into her shorts and her fingers were massaging her vagina.
“Maddie!” I said abruptly. “What the fuck? Why are you home masturbating in my living room and not in school?”
The expression on Maddie’s face was one of shock and wonderment. She could not answer my question. She hurriedly sat up, walked up stairs and shut her door.
I noticed her fingers as she walked up the stairs. They were covered with the same white fluid that I had on my crotch.
I went into the den, sat on the recliner and had to think. This was such a strange emotional day. “What the fuck?” I thought to myself. I felt poorly about my reaction towards Maddie. “I should have been more comforting to Maddie. I acted just bursa escort like my mom acted when she caught me masturbating in the backyard. I had to talk to Maddie and make this right.” I thought.
Knocking on her bedroom door I tried to enter her room and her door was locked.
“Maddie dear, please let me in so we can talk. I was so wrong with the way I reacted to what you were doing. I acted like my mom when she caught me masturbating.” The words came out without thinking. I let her know so much about me in one single sentence.
The doorknob clicked and the door opened. I looked at Maddie and she immediately hugged me. “I am sorry mom, I will go to church tonight and pray for forgiveness.” Maddie said in a scared and trembling voice.
I hugged her back and said “Why! Maddie?”
She peered into my eyes then walked to sit on the bed. All my friends are always talking about masturbating and how wonderful it is. How they all get so much stress relief when they finish. I wanted to try. I had a really bad day at school and came home. Laying on the couch I thought of what they talked about and began doing it.
I listened and again felt so guilty towards my parenting skills. Again I was asking her a question in a way that seemed to criticize her.
“Lets go down stairs and talk at the kitchen table, woman to woman.” I said with a smile.
I saw the look of shame on my daughters face as I put a drink of water in front of her on the table. “I caused that shame and I have to make this right.” I thought as I sat.
“Maddie, ever since your father passed away we have both had to grow up quickly. I live with the grief of losing the love of my life and you in losing a parent who you loved and could confide in much easier than me. I know that you and your father had a relationship where you could tell him anything whereas with me you needed to curb what you were saying.” I stated.
“Mom, Dad and I were able to talk and it was comforting to know that no matter what I said to dad he would not judge me or scold me. He would simply listen and think then give me some advice. It was simple, refreshing even. I can not do that with you. I have to practice over and over again what I am going to tell you or ask you. You will abruptly criticize me for what I am asking and that is OK. That is how you were brought up. I remember grand mom and how forward and judgmental she was.”
Sitting back in my chair I sipped my coffee as I listened to my daughter speak honestly to me. It was an awakening moment for me. I kept thinking, my daughter is teaching me. I have been raised with discipline and religious conviction. She is teaching me to listen with care and sensitivity while not being judgmental and condescending.
“Maddie, I am so very sorry. I have treated you as my mother treated me. Your father would often advise me to not lean so hard on you the way I did all those years. I honestly thought I was doing you a justice pointing out things I was taught were wrong. It took me being embarrassed in the gym today to realize what a fool i have been.” I said.
“Let me make this up to you. please!” I begged.
Maggie took a sip of her water and said, “let me go to confession, we can talk when I get home. OK?”
“Absolutely NOT OK!” I said forcefully. “Begging for forgiveness for something that is a natural and beautiful human act is not OK anymore!. I am going to teach you how to be a woman, how your body is ‘your body’, today!” I stammered.
“I have to pick up some prescriptions and when I get back you and I will go out to dinner and while eating we can make our plan to have some fun.” I said as I stood and headed to the door.
In the car I fell apart. Crying so hard my makeup was running down my face like a colorful waterfall. I wiped my face clean and drove to get the prescriptions.
While standing in line at the store I looked over at the person in front of me and was mortified. There she was! Susan!, I did know her. I have been talking to her for years. Why did I not recognize her face? I have been at this pharmacy literally millions of times in the past several years.
“Hello Karen.” Susan said with a delightful smile. I started to say “hello.” when a jolt of sparks ignited in my vagina. She was the reason, Susan had sparked a sensual awakening that I never knew I had.
“Let me get your medicine.” Susan said softly.
“I hope I did not embarrass you when I waved to you at the traffic light or blew you a kiss at the gym earlier.” Susan stated.
“I was so embarrassed I did not recognize you.” I said back.
“Guess it is the white coat I wear. I get it all the time.” Susan explained.
“How is Maddie?” Susan asked while ringing up my medication.
“Growing up. Not easy raising a young woman on your own these days.” I said jokingly.
“I know when I was that age my hormones had me raging with all kinds emotions.” Susan blurted out with a surprise on her face.
“Sorry, that came out wrong. I apologize.” She said with a beet red bursa escort bayan face.
I leaned in to whisper to Susan, “I know exactly what you are talking about. I walked in on Maddie today and she was in the midst of an ‘Emotion’. I did not handle it well at all. Trying to mend that tonight. I am so sorry, TMI.”
I paid and Susan put her hand on mine with a note and looked into my eyes. “If I can help, just call me.” I looked back at her and took the note and said “Thank you!”.
Once in the car I looked at the note. “Karen, call me if you ever want to talk or vent. Susan.” She wrote her phone number below her name.
I put the note on my visor and drove home.
Maddie greeted me at the door. “HI mom, how was the store?” she asked excitedly.
Placing the package on the kitchen counter I turned to her and said, “Want to go to Fullerton? We can spend the weekend there.” With bright eyes shouted. “Yes!”
I called and made reservations for Friday and Saturday night.
The ride to Fullerton was filled with conversation. Some chats were uncomfortable for me to hear but I had to start thinking in a different manner. The religious way was too hurtful. I was attentive and passionate.
Arriving at the ‘Excalibur’ hotel, our car was parked by a valet and I was given a ticket to keep.
The room was incredible. Arthurian style adornments and to Maddie it was magical. She was so happy.
“Maddie, let’s put our things away and go down stairs and get something to eat.” I suggested.
“Sure, let me put my things away and I will meet you in the front room.” She replied.
The restaurant was incredible like everything else. Our conversation was good, we were communicating well but I thought I should spice it up some.
“Let’s go for a drive around the lake.” I said.
In the car we drove around Fullerton and to my surprise it was so lovely and clean. We drove past the governor’s mansion, the art and history museum and much much more. Maddie was awestruck.
Making a right turn to go towards the lake we passed an adult store. I noticed Maddie’s head turn and give it a longer look. “That is it.” I thought.
“What the fuck, was I really thinking of taking my daughter into an adult store? I have never been into an adult store, hell I have never seen a porn movie.” I thought to myself.
I circled the lake with the thought of how religion has crushed my sexual feelings and how clear it was to me. Perhaps if I help Maddie learn that her body is her own, no one should dictate how she should act with her sexuality.
Our drive led us back to the same intersection with the adult store. I turned and parked behind the adult store. Maddie was mortified. “Maddie, you and I have never done anything like this EVER. I made you feel that exploring your own sexuality was something to be ashamed of. I was so wrong. I was taught that exploring my sexuality was a sin and I would go to hell if I even thought about it. That was so fucking wrong. I know that now. We are going to go into this store and pick up some items to help us with our pleasure. Do not be embarrassed or concerned of anyone looking at us. No one knows us here and it will be just you and I. We can go back to the hotel and get to know our bodies in the privacy of our own rooms.”
Maddie ripped the door open and was walking towards the store before I could even reach for my door handle. “Well that went well.” I thought.
Once inside the store, Maddie and I noticed that we were all alone. A lovely blonde lady was behind the counter.
“May I assist you ladies?” I heard with a french accent.
“We are looking for something but are not sure what.” I said.
“May I ask, is this for yourselves?” She asked.
“Yes!” Maddie stated.
“Allow me to make some suggestions for you if I may.” She said.
“Please do.” I said to her.”
“Hello, I am Mélanie.” she told us.
“I take it this is for self pleasure, no?” She asked.
Maddie was beaming from ear to ear. It was so good to see her so excited. Me on the other hand was totally terrified but was suppressing it, trying to be calm.
“Yes it is” Maddie blurted out.
“let me recommend the complete lover’s kit. This has everything you need to explore yourself in a loving and slow way.”
Nervously I let out, “That would be great.”
Thinking we were done, I heard Mélanie ask.
“Sensual clothing? It makes self pleasure so much more intimate.”
“Sure.” Maddie stated.
The car ride to the hotel was filled with a very eventful conversation that I thought should never take place between a mother and her daughter but that was the old way of thinking. This conversation was enlightening and fun.
Peer pressure today was much more open and encouraging that it was when I was a child.
In the room, Maddie made a dash straight for her room, package in hand.
I went into my room and laid on the bed contemplating what my next course of action was going to be.
While driving escort bursa to the hotel from the store the note Susan gave me fell off the visor and landed in my lap. I took it with my hand and held on to it. “Should I call her?” I thought. She is one of the reasons I am here in the first place.
I dialed her number and got a voice message. “I am not available and am unable to answer my phone. Please leave a message or a text and I will get back in touch with you.”
I pressed 2 to leave a text. “Susan, I am in a real situation with Maddie and am not sure I made the right choices. Need advice my friend. Karen”
I laid back wondering if that was yet another good choice. I am so ass backwards these days. So confused.
While staring at the ceiling I began to think about the flood of juices I had earlier. I have never had that type of a reaction just by looking at another woman. It was a startling first for me. I kept thinking of how warm and silky it was on my fingers. How the musty smell made me even produce more. What the hell was going on.
My phone vibrated and at the same time I heard Maddie turn on her shower.
I looked down at the phone and it was Susan. “Can’t talk right now, give me 15 minutes and I will call you if that is ok?” I read.
“Thank You.” I replied.
I got undressed and was looking at myself in the mirror. Not bad for 50 I thought to myself. I noticed my vaginal hair was still matted “I need a shower.” I told myself.
I got all of my shower accessories and entered the walk in shower. It was enormous and had a place to sit so I could shave.
I wanted to shave my legs so I sat on the seat and lathered up my legs. While rinsing off my legs I had the strange thought of shaving my pussy.
“That would be epic for me but do I have the moral fortitude to actually do it. Mother would roll over in her grave.” I thought.
I finished my shower and while drying my hair I had the same thought. “Let’s do it. You told Maddie this would be self aware of herself and do what made her feel good and happy, so shave yourself.”
Siting again in the shower I lathered up my vagina and began shaving years of oppression away. Once finished I remembered Mélanie telling me there were lotions in the bag. I took out the ‘After Shaving’ lotion and began to apply it.
I walked out and noticed my phone was on the floor. I bent down and picked up the phone looking to see if I had any messages.
“Karen, Call me. Susan.”
I dialed her number and she answered immediately. “Karen! what is going on. ” I heard Susan state.
“Susan, let me start by saying I am in Fullerton. Maddie and I have decided to come to Fullerton for some relaxation and to discover ourselves as women. Does that make sense.”
“Fuck yea. I make a trip like that once every 6 months. There is an adult store I go to, let me think of the owner’s name…” Sausan said.
“Mélanie?” I stuttered.
“Yes!” Susan said excitedly, “You met her?”
“Yes, she was awesome for Maddie and for me too. We purchased a starter kit for self exploration and I am so fucking nervous. My hands are shaking and I can not believe I am doing this. Am I going crazy?” I said back to Susan.
“Karen, you are a gorgeous, intelligent, warm, wonderful, witty woman. You do not see yourself. You see what your upbringing wants you to see and how you should act, just as I did almost my whole life. This is so inherently wrong. We are women, our sexuality and sensuality is beautiful. Let go, be yourself, explore, fuck yourself.” I hear Susan say laughing.
“Wish I were there with you.” Susan said surprising me.
“What I said?” with an inquisitive voice.
“I wish I were there with you. I would love to watch you explore your woman hood.” I hear her say.
“You would? really?” I asked.
“Oh fuck yes. I have admired you and your fantastic body for years.” Susan confessed.
“I have to tell you something and I hope this does not make you feel anger towards me. I saw you in the gym and you waved at me and blew me a kiss. When I looked down to pick up the large ropes, I was dripping from my crotch.” I stated.
“YES!, I made you cum just from a smile and blowing you a kiss, that is so fucking awesome.” She replied.
“What?, I was mortified.
“I have to tell you something Susan.” I stated.
“I walked in on Maddie with her hand up her pussy and I immediately got really upset with her. Sent her to her room. I noticed when she walked up the steps that she had the same fluid on her hand that I had.”
“You’r an asshole, you may have scared her sexuality and sensuality forever.” Susan said.
“That is why I am here, to help her explore her sexuality in a kind and loving way.
I, like you, was taught it was a sin. I am literally naked on this bed and rubbing lotion on my vagina. I just shaved it, for the first time in my life and I can hear Maddie still in the shower. She has been in there for 45 minutes.”
“We both purchased the same kits.” I stated.
“Fuck, I am such an idiot. I am sorry Karen. My mom acted the same way when she caught me masturbating and it scared me terribly. I applaud you for taking the initiative to make this right. Let Maddie explore for herself.”