On the Sunday I broke up with Nick.

I couldn’t in good conscience continue our relationship when I was acting like I had with Ryan and David. That was one element of my decision, and the other was that both of those men had shown me what sex could be and I badly wanted the chance to enjoy it without the guilt that had been associated with my prior experiences.

It wasn’t an easy break up, and when he started to cry I did too. I told myself that if I loved him as I said I did then I wouldn’t have done the things I had. Of course I didn’t tell him what I’d done – that his brother had fucked me twice and two days before I’d been fucked through the night by a man twice my age. Instead I told him that I needed time and space while we were still young. He fought for us, and I was even half tempted to keep the illusion going, but I knew it was over.

With a heavy heart I left his halls of residence and returned home a single, yet hopeful, woman.

I didn’t know what I wanted next, not really. But for the next month I spent at least two nights a week with David. After our first time I had wondered whether it was the mix of alcohol and the taboo nature of our coupling that had made it so good, but I quickly discovered that wasn’t the case – he was just a very experienced and passionate lover.

Maybe it was the mix of feelings I had from my youth for him, crossed with the intimacy we had started to share, but the more I coupled with him the more I thought I might be falling in love with him. I knew it was quick and foolish to even think it, but he was so handsome and thoughtful and I’d never felt so good during sex as I did with him.

After six weeks it ended. During one session in his bed on a Friday night, the words just croaked out of me unbidden. I wasn’t even sure I had meant them – I still don’t – but once words are said they cannot be unsaid. When we were both finished, his cum once again seeping from my pussy, he lay across from me with a kind smile on his face.

“You’re not in love with me Polly,” he whispered, hands tracing across my freckled arm.

His condescending tone annoyed me and my brow almost immediately furrowed.

“Why can’t I be?” I snapped at him.

“Because you’re mixing the physical act up with emotions. I… maybe I’ve been stupid in letting this go on as long as I have. This isn’t healthy though, and it can’t go anywhere. Your parents… they’d never allow it.”

“I don’t care!” I wailed, feeling tears sting my eyes. “I do love you David. I know I do.”

He hushed me with a deep hug and I knew there were no words that could convince him otherwise. I should have known from his past that it was likely to happen, but in the heartbreak of my breakup with Nick I had thought that maybe there was a future with David. One where my parents would see how happy we made one another and they would understand how and why it had happened.

It had all been lies though. As my mother had always said – a leopard never changes its spots.

I didn’t sleep with him again that night or ever again, instead taking the spare room I should have taken when I first came to his home alone. Angry after arguing with David, where he called me a silly girl, and with this heartbreak adding to what I was already going through, I went into a relatively destructive period of trying to find validation with little care to who got in my way.

Mostly that was by taking strangers back to mine at the end of the many nights out I had, but while it was better sex than it had been with Nick, it never really gave me the satisfaction I was craving. Almost everyone I took to bed were perfectly serviceable lovers, but perfectly serviceable wasn’t what I was looking for.

Truth be told, I wasn’t sure what I was looking for.

Oddly, the most satisfaction I had got was by myself. Now single, I had bought myself a toy with which to play with (with some embarrassment on my part when I entered the sex shop to purchase it) and found it to hit the spot, so to speak, when alone.

It’s effect was only exacerbated when I would hear my housemate and her boyfriend fuck in the room next to mine. Katie wasn’t shy of being noisy and apparently Danny was very good at making her noisy. Often during their sessions my own moans would join their’s as I imagined Ryan or David fucking me, Danny’s grunts making the experience more real until eventually Danny replaced them in my fantasy pendik escort more and more.

In a time when I used others and others used me, Danny was kind to me and kept me safe on nights out. It made me feel a little more wholesome in a time when I felt anything but. And that kindness added to his good looks – he had emerald green eyes with floppy dark hair, and while he wasn’t especially ripped or bulky, he wasn’t in bad shape at all. But really it was his personality that really attracted me to him.

He was very off limits though and I was sure I wasn’t his type. Katie was dark-haired, wide hipped and had large tits. And while I wasn’t exactly lacking in the breast department, I was also skinny and freckled and red-haired. That and after the guilt of what I’d done with David and Ryan, I really didn’t want to cheat again – even if I wouldn’t be the one doing the cheating.

Hearing them most nights going at it did start to grate though. Not because it wasn’t hot hearing his hand slap down on what I assumed was Katie’s round ass, but because I was frustrated in not seeing it. Lying in bed I wondered whether the visual experience differed wildly from what I was imagining, and whether it would be different to what I’d personally experienced in my time.

There was one night where I finished quickly with my own solo work and, tired from my release, I pottered to the bathroom to clean my teeth and get ready for sleep. I headed down the hallway and froze when I noticed Katie’s bedroom door slightly ajar with her cries filling the upstairs of the shared house.

Heart slamming in my chest, I slowly approached the door and peaked in – then thanked whatever gods were looking down on me that there was a mirror in view that showed me all that I had only been able to imagine before.

I could see everything. And seeing it only made it so much hotter. Watching Danny, with his girlfriend’s feet on his shoulders and his cock pumping vigorously into her, made me gasp. I could see him mouthing things I couldn’t hear over her moans, his face set in a hard grimace as his hands groped her large, bouncing tits.

Despite my recent orgasm, I knew I couldn’t miss this opportunity to join in considering our other housemates were staying with their respective partners. It meant the chances of another occasion to watch Danny and Katie seemed improbable. So leaning against the wall I got as comfortable as I could and then pushed a hand into my pajama bottoms and against my sensitive clit.

I worked my hand between my nub and my slick sex as I watched them change position, Danny moving behind Katie and fucking her hard as she situated herself on all fours. When she cried out when he smacked her rump so did I, imagining it was him striking me and groping my tits instead of hers. And when he reached around to tug a nipple and pinch it hard I did the same, reaching under my top and finding my own nipple hard.

Fuck, how badly did I want to go in and demand he do the same to me. To push Katie out of the way and pull Danny into me, to feel his hands all over me and his cock pounding hard and fast into my cunt as I grabbed his ass and begged for more.

These were all thoughts that accelerated my second orgasm, which was perhaps the most intense singular experience I’d ever had. So intense my legs buckled and I slid down the wall and to the floor of the upstairs landing, vaguely aware of the squeals of delight coming from Katie as she approached another climax of her own.

Eager to avoid being found flushed and strewn across the floor of the landing with now very slick hands, I got up and staggered back to my room and shut the door behind me. Seeing Danny and Katie fuck, the visual aid they’d inadvertantly supplied, had made me wonder what it might be like to be watched. It was an idea that I found strangely appealing, the thought of someone being aroused by my naked form as I fucked someone, or they fucked me.

The next couple of times I brought someone home I made sure to leave the bedroom door slightly open, positioning myself in such a way that I could see if someone was watching. Everyone in the house had a boyfriend, but mostly it was Danny I wanted to see me – I wanted him to watch me like I’d watched him.

No one saw me until, finally, I got my wish in early November.

With my birthday due and my housemates keen to let their hair down from their final year studies, we maltepe escort agreed to throw a party as Danny’s birthday would soon follow mine. Between us we managed to fill our shared living space with enough alcohol to flood the house and a decent set of speakers and CDs to make a vibrant party atmosphere.

By this point I was a seasoned student drinker, able to drink until I needed a tactical vomit and then continue afterwards. From what I remember there was a good vibe and I’d immediately found the man I’d wanted to try and attempt to feel close to how I’d felt with David. Jay was a friend of Danny’s – his best friend actually. He had sandy hair in a side parting and chestnut eyes, and while he wasn’t bad to look at I could only compare him unfavourably to his friend.

In the twisted reasoning of inebriation I wanted to make Danny jealous. So all evening I stuck close to Jay, marking him as mine to all the other girls at the party and giving him enough attention and clues that he wouldn’t be going back to his student house that night, something he grew increasingly happy about as the evening progressed as his hands grew bolder when we were close to one another.

It was the early hours when the party officially ended and most of the people had gone. Jay remained of course and I was eager to get him upstairs to continue the festivities with him in my bedroom. Taking his hand, I guided the way as the others continued to sit downstairs and chill together, but before leaving the room I glanced back and saw Danny’s eyes on us as we moved out of sight..

“You’re keen,” Jay said as I pushed the bedroom door to without closing it, his hands on my waist and then on my blouse which he was pulling open to reveal the lacy turquoise bra underneath.

“You have no idea. Get on the bed.”

I’d changed a lot in the months since coming to university. In my exploration of my sexuality I’d started to learn what I wanted and how to ask for it. Some of my lovers would reject and some would agree yet not satisfy. But almost all of them did agree, because when there was a half-naked woman wanting to have sex with them they had very little desire to say no.

Jay was no different. He grinned and shifted back onto the bed and I followed, lifting my skirt and removing my matching blue panties before tossing them aside. I helped with his shirt, kissing his bare chest eagerly as he removed his trousers and boxers. Then, with my hands on his chest, I pushed him back onto the bed and quickly straddled him.

We made out for a while, our kissing heated and our hands busy while I enjoyed him for a time without thinking of anything else. He wanted me too, something I could tell from the way his cock pressed against my milky inner thigh. And even though my intentions weren’t especially true, after an evening of teasing I did want to fuck him.

When he slid himself into me I sighed happily. At this point I was perpetually horny, so any cock seemed to satisfy me. Rolling my hips back so he filled me, I lifted up slightly so my hair was cascading around his face and smiled.

“I’ve wanted this for a while, you sexy little minx,” Jai breathed, his hands pushing my skirt past my thighs so it bunched around my hips.

“Then let me show you what you’ve been missing out on.” I replied with a wink, and leaned up from him so he could see exactly what he had wanted to see.

He wasn’t the only one who could see though. A quick glance at the door showed Danny peeking through the gap in the ajar door. For a moment he looked startled and about to flee, but maybe the look on my face kept him there. I saw him freeze and then, slowly, the smile on my face was mirrored on his.

This was what I wanted. I wanted him to see me. Wanted him to want me. And I wanted to give him a show.

My eyes never leaving his, I slowly started to fuck his friend while removing my blouse so it hung from my inner arms for a time, my painted red lips parted in heavy breathing. I watched Danny greedily eye my body. taking me all in as Jay hasitly removed the blouse, oblivious to the voyeur watching us fuck.

I then decided to tease both men with my covered breasts, pushing them together to form cleavage while my bra remained on. My current lover tried, and failed, to remove it because I wanted Danny to have to wait. To desperately want to see how pert my tits were compared to Katie’s. When I finally let Jay kartal escort pull the cups down I couldn’t help but smile at Danny’s reaction. His mouth went into a perfect ‘O’ shape and, delightfully, I saw him grip the obvious outline of his cock through the denim of his jeans. There was a moment of hesitation from him but the huge smile on my face was enough for him to keep his hand there.

My hands slid over my boobs, brushing my aching pink nipples before my fingers pinched them and forced my chin up and a low groan from my lips. I was heavily lidded but I couldn’t tear my eyes from Danny, his hand now working against the obvious erection he had.

“Fuck yes,” I moaned in a sultry voice, riding my new lover slowly and feeling his cock slide in and out of me. It was a good cock by all accounts, but it wasn’t the one I was thinking of. The one I was thinking of was the one outlined perfectly in Danny’s jeans.

Jay’s hands replaced mine, gripping my breasts as I leaned back and pushed a hand into my red hair as I started to fuck him faster . I could vaguely hear him saying something but I couldn’t tell you what it was – all I was aware of was Danny. As far as I was concerned there was only him and me and Jay was simply the vessel in between us as we fucked each other through him.

Especially when he pulled out his incredible cock so he could deal with what he was seeing properly. I watched in delight as I got to see his long and veiny cock stand out from the zipper of his jeans and his hand wrap around it and tease around the head of his manhood as he started to wank off to me.

“Yes,” I moaned out, but it was Jay who replied to my words even if they weren’t directed at him.

“Yeah you like that? You want more?” he growled, but I was too focused on Danny to give a shit what he was doing. As long as he wasn’t stopping me and Danny I didn’t care.

Leaning forward to better look at the man I really wanted, and so he could get a betterlook at me, I gripped the board at the end of the bed and moaned for him as I fucked his friend. I wasn’t just looking into his dark eyes then – I was also glancing down to watch him fuck himself to me. I’d let my hands run over my body, squeezing my breasts so he could imagine what it might be like for him to touch me himself. In response I saw his hand work faster and faster on his cock as he imagined, I hoped, him fucking me.

My cries grew louder and my climax, once such a flighty thing for me, drew near. I was distantly aware of Jay’s hands on my hips and his cock pumping into me, but it was inconsequential. The real magic wasn’t even physical right then – it was the connection that I was sharing with Danny that pushed me over the edge.

Hands gripping tightly to the wood of the foot of the bed, my eye contact with Danny was finally broken. My body shuddered and I gasped and struggled to breathe, my consciousness floating away only to be returned as Jay rolled me onto my back to take me.

His thrusts were selfish and quick, but it wasn’t like I could take the moral high ground there. Jay kissed me fiercely as he fucked me hard and fast and I grabbed his ass as it clenched quickly, imagining it was his best friend who was fucking me until he pulled away and arched his back as thick ropes of his cum spilled deep into my pussy.

I couldn’t see what was going on but I assumed Danny had gone. I wished I could have seen him cum because of me, but circumstances had meant that it wasn’t really viable. All I could hope for was that he had, and that he had a good visual of me in his mind’s eye when he did cum.

After a small period of time Jay pulled away and the two of us lay panting on my bed. “You were something else.” he breathed, hand blindly reaching over to grab one of my breasts, and I placed my own hand over his to keep it there.. “Think I might have wanted that.” I told him as I heard my phone vibrate on the table next to my bed. I fumbled it over to me and looked at the text message I’d received from Danny.

“Thanks for the early birthday present ;)”

I grinned widely and replied with a “You’re welcome ;)” so he understood it wasn’t a mistake. So he could know that it was something I’d wanted him to see and that I now, after what we’d shared, badly wanted more with him.

Jay and I fucked again after a brief break and then again in the morning, but it wasn’t the same as that first time, even if he was good enough to make me cum. It was Danny that I’d wanted and the moment we shared only confirmed that to me. It would mean making him cheat on Katie, but as far as I concerned at the time she was collateral and in the way of something I wanted and needed.