Always a Bridesmaid…


It was a windy April afternoon in Upstate New York. There were very few clouds in the brilliant blue sky. The chapel was located less than a hundred yards from a large sparkling lake. It was the perfect setting for a lovely spring wedding.

As I pulled up to the chapel in my Honda Civic, I turned to the passenger seat where the bride sat. She was also my best friend of about twenty years.

“Are you going to throw up yet? Because I sure as hell think I’m going to.” I groaned.

Sonja laughed and said, “It’s not even your wedding! How do you think I feel?!”

“I knowwwww. I have to walk down that obscenely long aisle too! And alone! Ugh…” I mumbled. She looked at me and giggled. “Oh shut up and let’s go, girl, I’m getting married!!!” she said.

We had decided years ago that we would be each other’s maid or matron of honor when we finally got married. She beat me by about a year. My wedding date was about a year away from hers. It was planned for May of 2010. I had already been engaged to Travis for about four years or so. In my opinion, that is entirely way too long to be engaged. In the very beginning of our becoming newly engaged, I was excited about getting married. As the years went on, I felt less and less excited. Just recently, I was feeling more and more pressure from him about getting married. All of a sudden he was saying he would be happy with just going to a courthouse and getting married that way. He was trying to rush it for some reason. I was definitely not into that.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love him. And yes, getting married is exciting. I was excited about trying dresses on, having lots of pretty lilacs at my wedding, and walking down the aisle with my father. But when I asked myself if I was excited about whom I was walking down the aisle towards… Well, I could never give myself a straight answer. We had been together for so long (about seven years) that it just seemed like the logical next step to me. Did I want to spend my whole life with this man?

We walked into one of the rooms in the downstairs portion of the chapel. It was set up for the bride and the bridesmaids to get ready. The rest of the bridesmaids and the flower girls were already in there getting dressed. I stripped down to my bra and panties and slipped into my very pink dress. It was strapless, so I didn’t need a bra. I took off my 38D bra and threw it onto the couch where my duffel bag was and adjusted myself. It was a good thing all of us girls were in some kind of clothing. The justice of peace barged right in without knocking or a “hello”.

He walked over to the couch and picked up my bra and said, “Oh, this must be LeeAnn’s.”

I rolled my eyes at him and smirked. “Why do you think it’s mine? Hmm? There are five other women in this room buddy”, I asked him. He just laughed. He talked to Sonja about the ceremony and left. Any group of people I am with, I am always the “one with the big boobs”. Goddamn genetics.

I called Travis on his cell to tell him to come around the chapel and meet me. I had to give him my camera so he could get pictures during the ceremony. He wasn’t very good at photography, but I had no choice. It was either him or my mother. And she has a habit of breaking cameras. I walked outside and waited for him to walk around. He saw me and said, “You look beautiful.” I looked at him like he had two heads. He usually isn’t very verbal. In the past seven years, I have heard that only a handful of times. I’d like to consider myself pretty, but it always means so much more when your loved one tells you. I gave the camera to my mother so she could take a picture of Travis and I. When I look back at that picture, I can see how awkward we looked. It didn’t look like there was any love there…

I walked back into the changing room. We were down to minutes left. We all gathered around with our mini bottles of liquor and toasted. Everyone was filing out of the room to head outside to the back of the chapel. I suddenly realized I didn’t get any of the girls to do my makeup. I never wear makeup but I figured for a special occasion such as this, it wouldn’t hurt. I wasn’t capable of putting on makeup myself, and since I didn’t have any of my own, I was pretty much screwed. I looked in the mirror and slicked on my trusty Cherry Chapstick. It never fails to make my pout shiny and kissable. With the shots we took minutes ago, and the wine we had at the hair salon at 9 a.m., I had a nice glow in my cheeks already. Not bad, I told myself.

I quickly caught up with the rest of the girls on the way around the chapel to the wooden double doors. Everyone lined up outside to get ready to walk through the doors and down the aisle. I thought I was going to throw up. What am I going to be like at my own wedding!? I thought. And for a quick moment, I didn’t even see Travis in my mind when I thought “my own wedding.”

We all made it down the aisle with no tripping or puking. The ceremony was wonderful. In the middle of it, I had to walk up to the podium and recite kadıköy escort bayan a poem that Sonja had chosen. I am not a very good public speaker, so I was almost hyperventilating. At the very end of the poem, I got choked up and almost spilled a couple of tears. The happy couple said their “I dos” and we were off down the aisle again. We made it outside and I waited for my mother and Travis to make their way out. They finally came out and Travis came up to me and gave me a hug. As I hugged him I was thinking to myself, why do I not feel anything at all? He was telling me how pretty I looked, for the second time within a half an hour. That had to be a record.

After all the guests congratulated the newlyweds, everyone started to head to their cars to go to the reception at the fire hall. I hopped in my car with Travis. My mother followed us in her Explorer. He dropped me off at the fire hall and told me he had to go find an ATM for cash in case I wanted something from the cash bar. That was another surprise. He never wanted me to drink. He always had a fit if I wanted to go out with my girlfriends, even if I was just drinking at their house. I thought to myself, yeah… let’s see how many drinks he “lets” me have tonight. Ha!

The bridal party walked in to be introduced by the D.J.; the bridesmaids with the groomsmen, the bride with her husband. After being seated and making toasts (which I was not prepared for at all) we went up to get our food. It was delicious. They had roasted chicken and potatoes, baked ziti, and salads. After filling up on food and spilling some red wine on my dress, I walked over to one of the banquet tables where my mother and Travis were sitting. Travis pulled me onto his lap and I looked over his shoulder and noticed a guy looking at me. I had an idea of who he was, but I didn’t know him personally. I knew his name was Jay. Sonja’s sister, who was a bridesmaid, brought him as her date. My first thought was, what is he looking at?! Do I have a booger or something?! After a few minutes, I was still sitting on Travis’ lap, and I randomly looked up and made eye contact with him. It only lasted a few seconds but it seemed like five minutes.

I thought, wow, he is REALLY hot…but why is he checking ME out?! Me…with my make-up-less face, looking like a piece of bubble gum with my very pink dress, not to mention, with a nice wine stain on it.. What on Earth could he possibly be looking at so intensely?

The party started when the music came on. We were all dancing, nobody drunk yet, just having a good time. Once or twice I actually got Travis to slow dance with me. Yet another surprise. He hated to dance. He kept trying to kiss me and be affectionate with me. He was rarely like that, especially in public. He didn’t like P.D.A. I was kind of holding back for some reason.

“What has gotten into you?” I asked him while we were dancing.

“I don’t know… it’s just your dress… and your hair. You look really beautiful,” he said.

“Oh… well that’s a first,” I mumbled.

I looked over at the table we were sitting at earlier and I saw Jay looking at me again. There was something about him. I didn’t know what… I didn’t realize I was still staring at him when I heard Travis say, “Did you hear me? Hellooooo?”

“I’m sorry, what?” I asked.

“I said… I am going to try to get a hotel room for us tonight,” he told me. I knew what that meant. For once, he was the one that wanted to have sex.

“Oh… ok.” I replied.

We had a pretty dry sex life. I always had to initiate. It was getting old to me. Even living alone we didn’t have that much sex, once a month, twice if I was lucky. Then we moved back into his parents’ house because I lost my job and wanted to go back to college. The sex was even less frequent then. I consider myself a very sexual person. I am comfortable with myself and I am very open in talking about sex. I can admit that I love to masturbate. Even if I was to have someone I was happy with, sexually, I think I would still do it. After losing almost forty pounds, I had a lot more confidence with my body. I would be happy with having sex once a day at least. With Travis, that will never happen. So I turn to my nightstand for help. A girl’s got to have toys! I am always horny, always talking or thinking about sex. My friends all poke fun at me for it. I am probably the horniest friend they have. I have always wondered what was wrong with Travis. He was happy with our once-a-month sessions. If I said something about our sex life, he would reply with “is that all you ever think about?” or something along the lines of that. That doesn’t seem right coming out of a man’s mouth! At one point, I contemplated whether he was straight or not! Sometimes, on the days we didn’t have sex, I would usually go down on him. In return he would maybe get me off with a toy or his hand, if he wasn’t tired, but I never received oral sex from him in return. For that matter, I never kartal escort bayan received it at all. And it was one of my favorite things in the world.

When he said he wanted to get a hotel room after all, I wasn’t even excited at the thought of having sex with him. I felt horrible for thinking that. When we actually did have sex, I never really enjoyed myself, unless I thought of other guys, or even girls! I could rarely ever feel it. So I had to make up for that in clitoral stimulation. I needed some help! He didn’t make up for what he was lacking in his pants. I’ll just say this… Size does matter; don’t let a girl tell you otherwise. Or else she is a damned liar.

We stopped dancing and he went to the bathroom while I stood around sipping my beer. Jay was walking towards me and stopped when he got to me. He put his hand on my arm and leaned in close. I was almost anxious, waiting to see what he was going to do. His lips were maybe half an inch from my ear. I sucked in my breath and held it.

“You’re gorgeous,” he whispered. I could feel his warm breath play with my ear.

I let out my breath and said, “What? Me?” I instantly felt stupid for saying that.

He grinned his gorgeous smile at me and said, “Yes, you.” I watched him walk away, probably a little too long. Then I snapped out of it and looked around to see if anyone had witnessed that little encounter. No, Travis was still in the bathroom, thank God. I was trying to figure out what was going on inside my body. It was as if a fire had been lit inside me. I had so many feelings. I felt a little tingle between my legs. My stomach felt like it was doing somersaults. Butterflies? I had never felt this before, not with Travis or any of my previous boyfriends. I was captivated by this mysterious man. He only said two words to me, yet they sparked something in me.

I smirked to myself and walked back out onto the dance floor. I had a little buzz going and all of us girls were grinding to some of Sonja’s choice songs, which would be every booty shaking song we have ever listened to. Travis came out of the bathroom and walked up to me. He took my hand and led me to the kitchen. Nobody was in there. He led me around a corner where nobody could see us even if they did decide to go into the kitchen. He pushed me against a counter and started kissing me. He lifted my dress up to my waist and tried pulling down my panties. I hesitated. I wasn’t really feeling anything. The only thing I could think about was Jay. I didn’t want to have sex in the kitchen with Travis. I kept telling him to stop, kind of playfully so he didn’t think something was wrong. He finally stopped and we went back out to the party.

By this point, I have had about four beers, and five mixed drinks. Travis wouldn’t give me anymore money to get drinks. I was officially cut off, and not even drunk yet.

“I don’t want to have to hold your hair later tonight when you get sick,” he commented snottily. I was kind of pissed. I knew this would happen. I just wanted to have a good time with my friends and get a little drunk, so what? Maybe it would make the sex better… Travis went up to talk to the D.J. about booking him for our wedding next year. Inside I was thinking, oh God, our wedding… He came back to me and told him that he was available for our date, and that he just booked him. I tried to be excited about it. He was, in fact, the best D.J. I had ever seen at a wedding. Travis then started calling hotels, trying to get a room for us. Of course, if he had agreed with me weeks ago, we could’ve had one booked at the hotel that everyone else was staying at. But he thought it was expensive and didn’t want to. He was very cheap at times. Well, 80% of the time…

While he was on his cell phone, pacing around, I walked around and mingled on the dance floor a little. It was getting late and people were slowly dispersing. Jay was walking to each of us girls that were in the wedding, giving goodbyes. He got to me and kissed me on the cheek. It startled me and I said, “Oh, hey”, and smiled at him. He stopped and looked into my eyes and was about to say something, instead he just smirked and shook his head. I was standing at our table getting some things together, because I was sure Travis would want to go soon.

Jay walked up to me and softly said, “Follow me.” I instantly blushed and looked around for Travis. He was totally preoccupied on his cell still, trying to find a hotel room. I slowly started walking after Jay.

We walked down a dark hallway, away from the reception part of the fire hall. Nobody saw us walk away. My heart was beating so hard, I thought it was going to burst. My hands were shaking slightly. I had no idea what was going on. He opened a door and led me by my hand into a cool, dark room. His hand was so warm and big. I felt a current between our hands. I was just focusing on Jay’s actions. Once we were in the room, he closed the door and pushed me against it toprak escort bayan and pressed his body against me. I could feel his hard cock against my thigh. He pinned my arms up over my head with one large hand and kissed me intensely. His lips were so soft. His tongue found my tongue and I moaned loudly into his mouth, which caused him to moan too. His free hand was lifting up my pink dress and rubbing my pussy outside of my panties. I moaned even louder. I had never been so wet before in my life.

He pulled my panties to the side and started playing with my pussy lips. We were still kissing, furiously now. As if at any moment, one of us would disappear.

“Oh my God… You’re pussy is so wet… You’re so beautiful. You don’t know how bad I want to fuck you,” he moaned.

I had never heard anyone say this to me before. It sent me into ecstasy. I moaned even louder. I was breathing so hard, almost panting, really. He slid one of his fingers into my pussy. “OH!!!” I said aloud. He pulled the top of my dress down over my breasts and said, “Oh my God, your breasts are beautiful.” He started kissing my neck, all the way down to my nipples. I was grinding against his finger, getting closer and closer to the point of no return. All of a sudden he stopped. “What are you doing!?” I asked.

He didn’t say a word. He knelt down and slid my panties off. He parted my legs and lifted my dress up. I realized what he was about to do and almost lost it. It had been about six years since a man has gone down on me. “Oh my God,” I panted.

“I haven’t done anything yet darling,” he said and winked at me.

“I know, but oh my God….” I whispered.

He started at my ankles and was kissing slowly and sensually all the way up my legs. I leaned my head back and smiled. I started playing with my nipples. He reached my pussy, which was insanely wet. Without warning, he plunged his tongue into me. I yelled something incoherent. I grabbed his hair in my fingers and held him closer to me. He was flicking his tongue inside of me and gently fingering my ass. I had never felt anything like this before. I was grinding against his tongue. I looked down at him and he had taken his cock out of his pants and was stroking it. My first thought was, oh my God, that’s going inside ME? It was so much bigger than anything I’ve ever seen. But I wanted it so bad. He was moaning into my pussy. I almost came right there.

“FUCK….ME….please, please” I moaned. “I want to feel your cock inside me so bad.”

He stood up, lifted my dress back up and grabbed my ass. He lifted me up against the door. He was so strong. I wrapped my legs around him and my arms around his neck. With his hands cupping my ass, he slid me onto his cock. I gasped. He was only halfway inside me, yet I felt like my pussy was so full!

“Oh my God, your pussy is so tight. Holy shit. Travis is a lucky man,” he said.

“Sshhhh,” I said and put my finger to his lips, “Don’t say his name…”

He slowly slid the rest of the way inside me. I scratched my nails hard down his back when he fully entered me. I bit down on his collarbone and it drove him wild. He was slowly thrusting in and out of me against the door.

“Ohhhhh shit, that feels so good,” I moaned. “So this is what sex is like, huh?” I giggled. More of an inside joke to me, since Jay didn’t know anything about mine and Travis’ relationship. Noises were coming out of my mouth that I had never heard before. I was amazed nobody had heard us from the party. He kept repeating, “You’re beautiful, you’re so beautiful, you’re gorgeous…”

“Choke me,” I panted.


“I said, CHOKE ME,” I told him. I took his hand and moved it up to my throat.

“Oh, you like that?” he asked me. He firmly gripped my throat and said with a smile, “You like that you dirty bitch?”

“Oh my God yes, yes, yes,” I smiled and closed my eyes as he slammed harder into me.

He stopped and said, “Get down on all fours. I fantasized about fucking you from behind when I saw you walking down the aisle.” I moved down to the cold floor on my hands and knees, waiting for him, staring at the tile on the floor. I felt his hands move from my neck, down my back, and onto my ass. He gripped my ass and slid his cock into my pussy. He moaned and laced his fingers into my hair and pulled back. He reached around and played with my clit while he was fucking me.

“Fuck me, FUCK ME, faster, faster, mmm,” I whimpered. He slapped me hard on my ass and grabbed it with both hands and went faster and faster. He was moaning as loud as I was. He was thrusting faster and deeper.

“I’m coming, I’m coming, ohhhhhh, FUUUCK!” I panted. He was hitting my g-spot. My entire body convulsed. It felt like there was a thousand volts going through my body. He kept fucking me while I was coming and it made me come even harder.

“Oh my God, I want to come in your pussy so bad,” he whispered.

“Do it then, DO IT, NOW,” I demanded.

“I’m going to. I’m coming, ohhhh God, Jesus your pussy is so tight,” he moaned. He slammed deep into me, one last time, and held me as he came into my pussy. He was still for a moment and then pushed against me and moaned. I could feel him inside me, twitching. It felt so good, feeling him come inside me. He stayed in me for a minute, just breathing. He put his forehead down on my back and kissed me there.

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