Author’s Note: This is the second part of a triptych, and follows from my previous story ‘Questioning.’ While it’s not absolutely necessary to read that one first, it certainly couldn’t hurt.
It was so cliched it was almost funny. Or rather, it would have been funny if it wasn’t the single most mortifying thing that had ever happened to her.
Despite what they’d both been worried about when their first night as roommate ended with them half-naked in bed with each other, coming their brains out, the little experiment hadn’t ruined Annie and Sinead’s friendship. In fact, it had defined it.
They both dated, Sinead a little more casually because she didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant—or a reputation as a slut—and because there were so many other experimenting girls eager to have a real live experienced lesbian show them the ropes. But when they weren’t seeing someone—or when Annie was seeing a guy who thought it was hot—they spent a few evenings a week making out. After all, why not? They were hot, it was fun, it was safe, and neither one of them was getting bored of it anytime soon.
Well, sort of. Neither of them wanted to stop, but Annie was starting to feel like she was missing out. And that was what led to this whole embarrassing situation; that lazy Saturday afternoon in November when they’d been getting hotter and heavier than normal to combat the chill, and Annie had just blurted it out.
Sinead pulled her mouth back from Annie’s heaving chest with a wet pop. “Seriously?”
Annie was blushing. She couldn’t believe she’d said it, but now that she had she wasn’t about to go back on it. “Well…yeah, I mean, why not?”
Sinead blinked. Her eyes were wide in shock, but there was a glint of hope in them. “I thought you said you…you know, you just wanted to keep making out.”
Annie shrugged. “Well, exactly. I mean, I’m straight…” Sinead blinked, clearly not following. “So that means I have a really clear…you know, line for what counts as sex. So unless you’re going at me with a strap-on or something…”
She trailed off as Sinead’s eyes met hers, and the resulting image made both girls blush. Annie’s eyes snapped to the bedsheets. “I just mean that…that it won’t be…you know, ‘sex’ sex. And if it’s not really sex, then it’s still just making out.”
Sinead blinked, trying to follow the train of thought even as their heaving, half-naked bodies were still pressed together. Eventually, she shrugged. “Works for me!”
Her lips returned to Annie’s naked torso with a vengeance, kissing her way down Annie’s gently-curved belly as sure hands unzipped her skirt. When her panties were revealed, Sinead wasted no time in burying her nose in the scrap of pink lace, taking a deep, appreciative sniff that made Annie moan in anticipation.
“Do you want me to take them off,” Sinead growled against the lace, “or pull them over?”
Annie blushed, eyes squeezing shut and head snapping back to the pillow. “T…take them off!”
Sinead grinned a brilliant, hungry grin as she readily slipped her fingers under the thin straps of her roommate’s thong, tugging gently but insistently down the redhead’s nervously-clenched thighs. When her panties were off Annie reflexively curled up on herself, pressing her legs together and pulling them up in a way that only served to perfectly frame the smooth, gently-bulging slit for Sinead’s hungry eyes.
“Hello, sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” Sinead murmured, and the reminder of that first night, of the way she first found out Sinead was a lesbian, made Annie blush even more. She was so nervous, much more so than she’d thought she’d be, but Sinead’s gentle hands slowly parted her thighs, revealing the shock of curly red fur and the smooth lips below it.
Annie’s breath caught as Sinead’s head dipped down, but it was just to take another sniff, this time straight from the source. “Have you ever had a guy do this?” Sinead whispered, and Annie could feel the brunette’s hot breath against her center.
Annie nodded shakily. “My…my boyfriend in high school. Donny…” He’d done it once, and only once, and when they’d both gotten frustrated with how long it was taking she’d agreed never to bring it up again. But Sinead already had her hotter and wetter than Donny had after ten minutes of licking.
“Ooh, but Dylan hasn’t?”
Annie blushed. “Dylan and I aren’t…we haven’t gone that far yet.”
Sinead looked up in surprise. “Oh, come on. I thought you said you blew him?”
“Well yeah, but…that’s not as big a deal.”
Sinead just shook her head with a wry grin. “Fucking straight people.”
Without any further warning her lips touched Annie’s, and the redhead practically exploded.
Sinead’s kiss between her legs was as smooth and confident as it was on her mouth. Annie couldn’t stop her hips from arching up, begging for more even as Sinead refused to do anything more than brush her closed lips up and down Annie’s aching slit. She squirmed when she felt Sinead’s straight, silky hair brush the skin, istanbul escort and the brunette drew back with a smile.
“Oops, almost forgot.” As Sinead reached for one of the ever-present hairbands at her left wrist and quickly piled her hair up behind her head to keep it out of the way, Annie remembered that first night again and felt like laughing. Then Sinead dove back in, and that laugh turned to a moan.
Annie was so nervous and excited and overwhelmed that she could feel her peak approaching before Sinead’s tongue even touched her. But Sinead seemed to sense that. Instead of licking, like Annie desperately wanted her to, she slid back to kiss and nuzzle the insides of Annie’s thighs until the inferno between the redhead’s legs was back down to a slow burn. When Annie’s breathing relaxed and her weighty chest stopped bouncing, Sinead kissed her way back up.
The first time Sinead’s tongue parted her folds, Annie’s hips shot forward and a moan was ripped from her throat, but Sinead refused to play along. She just licked from bottom to top, again and again, her tongue slipping deeper into the folds each time but never quite going as far up as Annie’s clit. Soon Sinead’s lips sped up and the redhead’s hips were bucking with the rhythm, hands clenched in her roommate’s hair for dear life and breathy pleas tumbling from her lips.
“Oh God please, please baby I’m so close, please more I need it I’m so close…”
Annie squealed as Sinead’s tongue dove deep inside her, wriggling and writhing and making Annie’s entire body squirm and jolt like she’d been tased. Annie could feel her muscles clenching, her thighs and the muscles in her stomach and the other ones deep inside her all converging on Sinead’s talented tongue, begging her for release.
When Sinead’s tongue was replaced by two fingers and the brunette’s lips wrapped around her clit and began to suck, she got it.
Annie had come with Sinead before, the first night and many nights since; in fact, if they had enough time, she was almost guaranteed at least one orgasm courtesy of her conscientious roommate. And she’d watched, blushing, as Sinead had tasted that orgasm, licking and sucking it from her own fingers and humming like it was the most delicious thing she’d ever tasted. But she’d never felt it before, never felt Sinead sucking and gulping as the river of wetness flowed out of her and directly into the brunette’s hot, waiting mouth. The heat and the suction and the knowledge that she was coming in her roommate’s mouth and that the girl was gulping it down and moaning like it brought her just as much pleasure as it did Annie actually made her come again, a smaller, sharper orgasm that just gave Sinead more incentive to bury her tongue deep and suck and savor every drop.
Finally, Annie had to pull the brunette’s face away, too sore and drained to continue. Sinead slid up her body with a satisfied smile, kissed her and let the taste of her own orgasm fill her mouth. Annie had never done that before Sinead, but by now she’d tasted herself on her roommate’s fingers several times, blushing all the while. While she still used her own fingers on Sinead when she could, Annie had never been able to bring herself to taste those; to her it just seemed too close to…
Well, to this.
Annie was so lost in the afterglow and the weight and heat of Sinead’s smooth body coiled atop hers that she never even heard the door.
“Oh my god…”
Sinead giggled. “You’re welcome.”
Annie’s head lolled to the side, and she blinked lazily. Then her entire body froze. “Oh my god.” Before Sinead could even turn her head Annie was practically jumping up, throwing the sheet over herself and desperately trying to put as much distance as possible between her and her roommate. “Oh God!”
Sinead grabbed Annie’s shirt from the side of the bed to cover herself just on instinct before she even looked up. Her eyes went wide, as wide as those of the couple standing in the doorway.
Annie swallowed hard, breathing still ragged and not about to get any less so. “Mom? Dad? What…what are you doing here?”
Her mother’s mouth just dropped open. Her father forced a smile that looked more like a grimace.
After her roommate’s clever exit line of “I’m-Sinead- nice-to- meet-you- oh-God- excuse-me- I-have- to-go- to-the-bathroom,” Annie’s parents gracefully withdrew long enough for her to get dressed. Then they went for coffee.
Halfway through their lattes, Annie’s mother cleared her throat. “So. I guess we don’t have to ask about this ‘boyfriend’ you’ve been telling us about…”
Annie’s eyes, which had been very carefully studying the tabletop, shot up. “What? Mom! No, Dylan’s real! Sinead and I are just…I mean we’re just experimenting. It’s not a…a big deal, it’s what girls do in college, it doesn’t mean anything!”
The older redhead smiled, flat and unconvinced. “I don’t remember doing quite that much ‘experimenting’ when I was your age.”
“Well, you say that…” her husband beşiktaş escort muttered, and she elbowed him in the ribs as Annie’s eyes widened. She cleared her throat.
“So. Are you going to tell us about your…roommate?”
Annie took another drink from her paper cup. “Um, well…she’s a theater major. She wants to be on the backstage side, but she’s really a way better actress than she thinks she is. She’s half Irish and half Jewish, and she says with a Jewish dad and an Irish mom it’s a wonder they let her out of the house long enough to go to college—um, no offense, Mom. She’s also into all this really cool music, like this old eighties stuff and this weird European disco…oh! And I guess she used to volunteer a lot, like at animal shelters and stuff, because she’s always talking about how she wants to start again…”
Annie trailed off as she realized her parents were staring at her. Her mouth, which she hadn’t realized until now had gradually split into a smile as she talked, drifted shut.
Her parents shared a weighted glance, then her mother cleared her throat. “Sweetie…are you sure there’s nothing…more serious going on with you and this girl?”
Annie laughed. “What? No, Mom. I swear to God, we’re just…I mean, I told you, it’s just a little experiment.”
Her mother’s less-than-convinced smile came back. “It’s just…I can’t help but think that when you talk about her like that, you seem a little…smitten.”
Annie’s cheeks lit up, and her eyes immediately flicked back down to the table. “Wh…what? No, Mom, come on, I just…she’s just really cool. I mean, she’s a good friend.”
Her parents glanced at each other again. This time, it was her father who cleared his throat.
“Well, anyway. Why don’t you tell us a little about that film class?”
That conversation with her parents wasn’t the one that changed things. Not really, anyway.
Sure, as autumn wore on she and Sinead fooled around less and less, but Annie just told herself that was because things were getting more serious with Dylan. She told Sinead too, and her roommate seemed fine with it. And outside of that part of their friendship, they were spending more time together than ever: she was helping Sinead with the fall play, they were going to clubs with Dylan and whatever straight girl whose horizons Sinead was currently broadening, and she was finally, finally getting her roommate to warm up to the Marvel movies.
No, the conversation that changed things was the last one she ever had with Dylan.
It was the day before winter break. Sinead had already caught her flight home the day before, and Annie’s parents weren’t coming to pick her up until after lunch. That meant that she had time to see Dylan off to the airport.
They were nearing the security checkpoint, and Dylan bent down to take his bag and kiss her. “Thanks, babe.”
“Have a good time. I’ll try not to be too soul-crushingly depressed without you.”
“Yeah.” His eyes cut toward the security line, then back to her. Then he gently touched her arm, steering them both out of the flow of traffic. “Hey, uh, can we talk for a sec?”
He looked back out at the passing crowds, then cleared his throat. “So…my parents say this old friend of mine is coming home for Christmas. This old…female friend. Molly.”
Annie blinked. She wasn’t sure she liked where this was going. “O…okay…”
“I guess…what I’m trying to say is…you don’t have to worry about me.”
Annie’s shoulders slumped in relief. “I know. I know you’re not going to cheat on me. I trust you.”
Dylan winced, pulled down on his glasses and pushed them up again like he always did when he was nervous. “No, look, I…shit, how do I…what I mean is, if you were…if you’re worried about me being lonely, or just needing someone…I’m gonna land on my feet.” Annie blinked, uncomprehending, and Dylan sighed. “I’m just saying…if you were looking for a time…”
Annie’s brow furrowed. “What are you saying?”
Dylan groaned. “Goddammit. Look, I was trying to play this cool, but…I know about this…thing between you and your roommate. And whatever it is, I don’t want to get in the way of it.”
Annie’s jaw dropped. “What? That…that’s ridiculous. Sinead and I are…we’re just friends! I mean is this because we used to…because that was just…you know, experimenting…”
“Yeah, I know, you used to fool around, it was nothing serious, you’re not into each other like that.” He met her eyes, not judging, but knowing. “So how come when we all go out together, I’m the one who feels like the third wheel?”
Annie blinked. “Dylan, I…I want to be with you.”
“And I want to be with you too.” He smiled sadly and shrugged. “But not while you’re thinking about being with someone else.”
Annie was blinking back tears. “Dylan…”
He shouldered his bag. “Look, Annie…I think maybe you should take the break and just…really think about things. About…you know, beylikdüzü escort yourself, and what you want. Who you want.”
Annie just stood there in shock. Dylan gave her arm one last squeeze before he stepped back into the crowd.
That was the last conversation she ever had with Dylan, and it was the one that changed everything.
That Christmas was the longest one of Annie’s life. While her parents and her brother celebrated, all she did was think. About herself, and about what she wanted.
Who she wanted.
In the cold, dark, lonely nights, alone in a bedroom that now seemed far too small, she touched herself. But she didn’t think about Dylan, or Donny, or Robert Downey, Jr. She thought about Sinead.
By the time the break was over, she was a wreck. But she was also resolved. When they were back together, she was going to talk to Sinead about all of it.
But then, the first week back from break, Sinead met Serena.
Serena: one of the most beautiful women Annie had ever seen outside a magazine cover, and not only that but every bit as out and proud as Sinead was. And not only did Sinead really seem to like her, Serena really seemed to like Annie. The redhead never felt excluded, or ignored, even as March drew near and the two women just got closer.
It should have made her happy seeing Sinead so happy.
“Serena heard about this really cool club,” Sinead said into the mirror as she played with her hair. “Do you want to come? Maybe we can find a nice girl to help pull you out of this…funk you’ve been in since Dylan,” she teased. Annie didn’t look up from her desk.
“You two go ahead. I wouldn’t want to get in the way.”
Sinead turned around, eyes narrowed. “Huh? What are you talking about? You know Serena likes having you around.”
Annie shrugged. “I know. I just don’t feel like going out. I mean, you two’ll be dancing all night and I’ll just spend all my time getting hit on by butches, so…”
Sinead blinked, her hands stilled in her hair. “Wait. Hold on. Do you not want to go to a gay club…or do you just not want to go with me and Serena?”
“Why can’t it be both?” Annie snapped before she was able to stop herself.
Sinead gaped at her. “Okay, what the hell is your problem tonight? Serena’s never been anything but nice to you.”
“No, yeah, she’s amazing. You got really lucky.” Annie wished she could at least control her tone, but it was like someone else was in control of her mouth. Sinead was just staring at her in confusion.
“What is this? Are you jealous?”
“Of course not,” Annie snapped as she flipped her Spanish book shut. Sinead took a step closer.
“Because you’ve never had a problem with any of the other girls I’ve dated.”
Annie rolled her eyes as she stood up, putting her chair between her and Sinead. “Oh please, your revolving-door ‘experiments?’ What’s to be jealous of?”
Sinead blinked. “Oh my god, that’s it, isn’t it? It’s because she’s a lesbian.”
“What? Don’t be ridiculous, why would I care? You’re a lesbian!”
“Yeah, but this is the first time I’ve dated a girl who actually wants more than just to experiment. Is there something wrong with me trying to have an actual relationship?”
“Of course not! You’re a lesbian, she’s a lesbian, so what do I care if you two want to run off and be lesbians together?”
Sinead shook her head. “Run off? Who said anything about running off? You think I’d just, what, cut you out or something? You’re my friend!”
“Oh, so you’re telling me you wouldn’t drop me in a second if she wanted you to?”
“Of course not! I’d never leave you for Serena or anyone else!”
“And would you leave her for me?”
“Of course I would, I’m crazy about you!”
Both girls froze.
It was only now, when the haze and the yelling faded, that Annie realized Sinead’s hands were on the sides of her face. She blinked, the brunette’s mouth only a few inches from hers. Then, like a gunshot, Sinead tore herself away.
“I…I didn’t mean…fuck, I just meant…you’re my best friend here, and I…”
Once again it was like someone else was controlling her body. Because while Sinead babbled her excuses, Annie walked up until their noses were almost touching. When that just made Sinead babble harder, Annie tipped her chin up and stopped her.
The kiss was like their first, except this time it was Sinead who was trembling and confused and Annie who knew exactly what she wanted to say. Given the speed with which Sinead’s lips opened against hers and Sinead’s arms wrapped around her back, the redhead was fairly certain she’d made it.
When they pulled apart—maybe after one minute, maybe after forty—Sinead was crying. “I…I didn’t…”
“Shh…” Annie leaned in to kiss her again. This time, the kiss quickly turned fiery; it wasn’t long before Annie felt Sinead’s hands moving down to the hem of her shirt, cool fingers on the burning skin of her waist.
“God I missed this so much,” Sinead mumbled against Annie’s lips.
“I want you…”
“I love you…”
Sinead paused and pulled back far enough to meet Annie’s eyes. Hers were wide and scared, bigger and brighter than Annie had ever seen them. “Don’t just say ‘Me too.'”