It’s Too Cliché…Right? Ch. 07
Blinding sunlight woke me from my dreams, the bright light hurting my corneas, even though my eyes were closed. Flipping myself over, I buried my face into the pillow, shying away from the unwelcome radiance of the sun. I groaned into the soft cushion, still feeling like I wanted to go back to sleep.
Fidgeting slightly, I tried getting myself into a more comfortable position, only to feel the soft sheets against my bare skin. I stopped, wondering why that was the case, seeing that I never slept in the nude. In my muddled state, it took me a moment to register the reason as to why I was naked, part of me still just wanting to get another hour’s sleep before dealing with any of this.
The events of the previous night soon came to me. The party with Evan, his drunken state and then the amazing sex that followed. Wondering if he was still around, I moved my hand over to his side, only to find the bed empty. With my face still buried in the pillow, I sighed, knowing that Evan had probably left earlier this morning when he had woken up to find us in the same bed, naked no less. It didn’t take a scientist to know what had happened the previous night if Evan couldn’t remember what happened that is.
There was nothing unusual for a straight guy to freak out and run. Although I would have liked to wake up next to him, I understood his position and I wasn’t about to blame him for disappearing in the night. Hell, perhaps this was best anyway. I could give him his space without pressuring him into talking about it if he at all even wanted to talk about it.
I spent the next few minutes, just basking in the glow of knowing that I had spent a single night with Evan. Judging by his absence I was pretty sure that it wasn’t going to be happening again. At least I knew what it was like, even if it was for just one night.
Then it hit me. Wait, I was woken up by sunlight? My room was in the basement and the only window was a small one just above my bed. Not only that but a small curtain blocked out most, if not all, light coming through. There was no way I could have been woken up by the sun.
I quickly brought my head up, looking around me, wondering why I wasn’t in my room. Taking in the neat bedroom, I realized the space looking familiar but definitely not my own. I was still in Evan’s room, almost scolding myself for being so stupid thinking that I had been home. No, I had come here last night and I never left.
I couldn’t linger on my idiocy, though, looking around for any signs of Evan. I knew then that Evan couldn’t possibly have gone home because, newsflash, I was in his home. My eyes darted to the en-suite bathroom, seeing the door open and the light off. So, he wasn’t in the bathroom.
Jumping out of bed, I surveyed the room more closely. All the clothes that we had thrown onto the floor were nowhere in sight, my own clothes neatly placed on top of his dresser. I went over, pulling on the articles of clothing. I couldn’t find my underwear, so I had decided to go commando. I wasn’t about to ask Evan about it now was I?
Once dressed, I walked into the bathroom and straightened myself out a little. Without a toothbrush, I made do by rinsing my mouth with the bottle of Listerine that sat on the counter. Wetting my hair enough that it wasn’t sticking out in odd places, I exited the bedroom.
I didn’t actually know if Evan was home. I mean, he couldn’t run home, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t run somewhere, right? I looked down the stairs, listening for any sound that would indicate another human presence in the house, but everything was quiet.
I could very well sneak out, avoiding Evan on the chance that he was at home, but I knew I couldn’t do that. I had done this willingly, he might not have. The least I could do was face my problems head on, right? After all, he was the one that stood on the losing end of this whole deal.
So, I tip toed my way downstairs, all the while keeping my ears peeled for the slightest sound that would indicate someone. I walked towards the living room, not hearing the TV on so I was pretty sure it was empty, but it never hurt to check. I looked in and sure enough, it was devoid of life.
Cutting through the silence, the sound of a chair dragging across the parquet floor rang out, causing me to jump a little. I cursed myself for getting startled, before following the direction of the sound which led towards the kitchen.
I poked my head in, seeing none other than Evan, carrying a bowl to the sink. I assumed he was just in the dining hall, finishing his breakfast. After placing the bowl into the sink, he stood there, arms resting against the countertop, as if deep in thought. Judging by the way he hadn’t even acknowledged my presence, I figured he didn’t know I was there.
“Hey,” I said softly, so as to not startle him. He didn’t jump, but I could definitely see his body tense up. Okay, so maybe he was regretting it more than I thought. Perhaps it’s best that I don’t broach the topic of last night, deneme bonusu veren siteler I thought to myself. “I’m just gonna be heading off.”
“Oh…uh…okay. Just give me a moment and I’ll drop you off,” he muttered.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” I said, less because I didn’t want to intrude and more because I’d rather not share an awkward car ride with him. “I can make it back home on my own.”
“It’s okay,” he said, walking off in the direction of his bedroom to, I assume, get his car keys. As soon as he disappeared, I slumped my shoulders, letting out a sigh. Maybe sleeping with him wasn’t the best of ideas. I should have put aside my wants and look at this from Evan’s point of view. That way, I wouldn’t have screwed up whatever friendship that I had cultivated with him. Of course, everything seems way more obvious in retrospect.
Soon, Evan returned, dangling a set of keys in his hand. While it seemed like Evan was behaving like nothing was wrong, I knew what had happened was bothering him because he couldn’t hold my eyes for more than a second before diverting his gaze.
I followed Evan as we made our way to the garage before getting into his beat-up Honda. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t complaining because a ride was better than no ride, but the problem with him taking that specific car was the extra time it took for him just to get it started. Imagine, both of us sitting in the car, the engine sputtering as it struggled to turn on. I could feel Evan wanting to apologize for his car but he kept quiet regardless, still feeling the tension between us.
After a couple minutes, Evan finally managed to get his car running, making our way back to my house. I tried not to think about Evan, focusing on the road ahead, emptying my mind of everything except getting home. Evan seemed to have the same idea, not uttering a single word during the ride. Heck, he didn’t even turn on the radio. Just plain awkward silence.
When we were finally pulling up the familiar street where my house was located, I almost sighed in relief. Stopping in the driveway, I just wanted to get out and run to the safety of my home. Of course, that would have been rude so I muttered, “Thanks for the ride.”
My hand was on the door handle when Evan spoke. “Wait,” he said, making me stop. I really hope he didn’t want to talk about last night, because, after that horrible car ride, I wanted nothing more than to pretend that whatever happened hadn’t, and I was pretty certain that Evan was feeling the same way. “We need to talk,” he said. Fuck, not the words I wanted to hear.
“About?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
“Last night?” he said as if he was unsure himself.
I just needed to man up and face this problem head on. “Look, you were drunk last night and I should have known better than to have slept with you. If you’re worried about me saying something, you don’t have to be. I know that whatever happened last night was a one-time thing and it won’t happen again,” I said, laying it all out there.
“Right,” Evan replied simply. Not going to lie, a part of me hoped he would have said he didn’t regret what transpired, but that was a little too cliché for my life, wasn’t it? It was best this way anyway. I didn’t even know if the fragile friendship we had would survive this.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, giving him a small smile before I exited the car and headed straight for my door, not even turning around once to look at Evan one last time. As I closed my front door, I leaned against it, eventually hearing the rumble of his car engine fade as he took off. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose to contain my aggravation at myself.
“Bradley James Pearson,” I heard, knocking me from my thoughts. I winced at the use of my full name, knowing I was in a shit load of trouble if she had pulled that out.
“Yeah, Mom?” I replied.
My mother came around the hallway, hands on her hips and a frown on her face. In her robe and bed slippers, you might have thought that she would have appeared less intimidating, but her body language made me want to cower. “Where have you been?”
“I stayed over at Evan’s last night,” I said, putting on my best sorry face.
“And did you even think to tell your mother?” she chastised, crossing her arms across her chest.
“Sorry Mom, my mistake. I kinda lost track of time,” I said. Well, not only time, but the whole situation actually.
“You had me so worried. I called your friends and they all said you went to some party and you should have been home by then,” she huffed, spinning around and stomping to the kitchen.
“Oh, I’m sorry Mom,” I said, following behind her and enveloping her in a hug from behind, resting my chin on her shoulders. “I swear, it won’t happen again.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she said, shrugging me off of her. I pouted and walked over to the kitchen island, pulling out a chair and sitting down. “Have you had breakfast?”
My pout turned into an easy smile. Even when mad, my mother was the best. “Not yet.”
She rolled her eyes at me as she got out a pan, no doubt in preparation for some pancakes. “So, about this Evan you stayed with,” she started.
“What about him?”
“It wouldn’t happen to be the same Evan that you’re into, now would it?” My eyes went wide. My Mom shouldn’t have known this.
“Wha— How did you—” I paused, the answer immediately coming to me. “Tim. I’m going to kill him.”
“You’d do no such thing to your brother,” she said, waving her spatula in my face. “If anything, you’re the one in trouble.”
“Me? What did I do?”
“Sleeping over at your crush’s house? What do you take me for, an idiot? I mean, I know I can’t stop you from having sex and all, but—”
I had to stop her there lest her imagination go wild. “Oh, my god! No! We didn’t do anything, Mom!” I lied.
“Fine, you don’t want to tell me. I get it. Just please be safe, that’s all I’m asking,” she said.
“I’m just going to die of embarrassment now,” I groaned, dropping my head onto the table. She just laughed at me.
Sometime during breakfast, Tim had joined us and I had to restrain myself from jumping across the table and strangling the little twerp. At least he had the decency to look scared of me. That’s right, Tim, be afraid. Be very afraid. He looked about to pee his pants every time my mom made a joke at my expense.
After that eventful and embarrassing breakfast, I had retreated to my room to shower, and quite frankly just to get away from my mother who was still teasing me. Thankfully, I was left alone for the rest of the early afternoon.
Brian had texted me at one point, asking how the previous night had gone. I had replied with a simple good, knowing that I couldn’t exactly tell him what happened as much as I wanted to gush about my amazing night. That didn’t mean that Brian didn’t tease me about wanting to get into Evan’s pants, not knowing how true his statement actually was. I, of course, just laughed along.
It was around 3 in the afternoon when I heard the doorbell ring. Knowing that either my mom or Tim would have gotten it, I continued with my own thing, that is, until I heard a knock at my door.
“Yeah?” I asked.
The door opened and my mom walked in, standing by the stairs at my basement bedroom entrance. “Honey, there’s an Evan here to see you,” she said.
“Evan? What’s he doing here?” I asked, sitting up from my bed and making my way over to my mother.
“He didn’t say,” she said, moving aside for me to pass.
“Alright. Thanks, Mom.”
“I can see why you’re attracted to him,” my mother said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. I blushed but otherwise didn’t respond to her. I didn’t need the thought of my mother thinking my crush was drool worthy. A mother can call their kids’ love interest cute or adorable, but my mom meant it in a more…adult way.
Pushing the thought from my mind, I made my way over to the front door, at the same time wondering why Evan had returned. I had thought that the matter of last night would have been buried by now. When I arrived at the door, I saw Evan shuffling from one foot to the other, hands deep in his pockets. “Hey,” I called, gaining his attention. “Was there something you needed?”
“Uh…kinda,” he said, his eyes darting from my eyes to just over my shoulder. I turned, seeing Tim quickly avert his eyes back to the TV, acting like he wasn’t just watching us. I rolled my eyes, turning back to Evan, waiting for him to continue. “Can we…uh…talk somewhere more private?” he said, his eyes once again moving to the spot behind me.
“Sure. We can talk in my room,” I said, moving aside for Evan to enter. I pointed to the basement, wordlessly directing Evan on where to go. He understood, quickly heading for my bedroom. As he passed the living room, I watch as Tim gave Evan a small nod of acknowledgment, Evan returning one too but his cheeks flushing in the process. Keeping this a secret is going to be difficult if Evan blushes like that anyone I know acknowledges him.
I followed behind Evan, seeing my mom giving a thumbs up just before I disappeared into my room. I was literally going to die of embarrassment. Fortunately, I was back in the safety of my bedroom, except it didn’t feel so safe now that Evan was also here.
He stood awkwardly in the middle of the space, looking around and taking in my room. “So,” I said, causing him to freeze in his spot. “What did you wanna talk about?”
“Um…well…” he said, once again shuffling from feet to feet.
I walked over to my couch, dropping down into the cushions. “Sit,” I said, motioning for the far end of the sofa, the furthest seat from me just to be safe. Evan nodded, going over and gently sitting down.
“I uh…don’t know where to begin,” he said, rubbing nervously at his knuckles.
“Um…just say it I guess,” I replied, not really sure where Evan was going with this. At that point, I wasn’t going to be assuming anything, because it seemed like nothing was ever expected, especially when Evan was involved.
“Okay, well uh…I’m…confused?” He had worded it more of a question than a statement, which led me to think that he probably wasn’t even sure about whatever it was that he wanted to talk about. Whatever the case, his words had me thinking. Confused? What was that supposed to mean? Was he confused about his sexuality?
“Confused? About?”
“It’s just…maybe I’m just being stupid—”
“No, you’re not,” I interrupted, getting more and more curious with each passing moment.
“Okay. Well, I thought that…you liked me?” he said, his cheeks going a shade of crimson.
To be honest, that wasn’t what I had expected him to say. I think I’m gay; I think I like you; I think what happened last night was a mistake. Those were all things that I thought he was going to say, but questioning that he thought I liked him was not at all what I expected.
“I do,” I replied, meaning it more in a friendly way than anything romantic.
“I mean, I thought you liked me…that way,” he said, once again blushing.
“Oh…” I trailed off. Now this was where I started thinking about what I was going to say. Do I confess that I had been pining for him, or play it off like I wasn’t? I guess the real deciding factor was if Evan thought he may feel the same way towards me. “What do you wish the answer was?” I swear I wasn’t trying to be snarky or playing hard to get, but just wanting to get more information before I decided whether to ruin my life or not.
“This isn’t a joke, Brad,” he said, somewhat glaring at me.
“I didn’t mean it as a joke. I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head at my stupidity. I stared at Evan, seeing that he was still waiting for me to answer the question. Well, honesty was the best policy, right? “Fine, I do okay? I’ve got the biggest crush on you, it’s not even funny.”
“Okay…” he said, again unsure of what to say next. “Then…why did you…want to pretend it didn’t happen?”
“Because I thought that was what you wanted? I just assumed that you didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I mean, you’re straight,” I said. Then I remembered the situation we were in and I was starting to doubt that statement. “You are straight, right?”
“I am,” he defended, making me raise an eyebrow at him. “How about we don’t use labels?” he corrected, and I had to roll my eyes. By saying that, he was basically saying that he wasn’t straight. Whether he was gay or bi didn’t matter, all that mattered was that he wasn’t straight.
“Fine. So, whatever you think you are, you know I’m interested in you now. Was there a reason you wanted to know that?”
“Well, I just thought…”
“Thought what?”
He groaned, burying his face in his hands. “You’re not making this easy are you.”
“To be honest, I don’t even really know what is happening here.”
“Oh god, do I need to spell it out?” he said, looking up at me. “Look, I liked what happened last night, okay?”
“Okay, so…” It wasn’t that I was totally oblivious to what he was insinuating, but I needed to hear him actually say it. Assumptions just weren’t good enough anymore.? “I just…I was hoping that you’d…I don’t know, want to try this out on the down low,” he said, his eyes shifting back to his knuckles.
“You mean a secret relationship?” I asked. Okay, so I had a feeling that this was what he was referring to, but that didn’t mean I was completely okay with it.
“Don’t say it like that.”
“Why not? Isn’t that what you’re asking?” I asked, maybe a little bit of anger in my tone, to which he didn’t respond as if embarrassed that he had even suggested it.
“I’m sorry. I know that isn’t fair to you. I’ll just get going then,” he said, about to get off the couch before I reached out to stop him, almost cursing myself for doing so. Deep down, I knew that I shouldn’t have stopped him. After all, I wasn’t really keen on the whole secret thing, but then again, secret relationship was better than no relationship…right?
“Wait,” I said, causing him to stop. “Maybe…we can try this out.”
He turned, facing me with a confused look on his face. When he saw that I wasn’t lying, his eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Really?”
“I think I’m going to regret this, but yes,” I said, not even bothering hiding my distaste with this whole secret thing. Could you blame me, though? I’ve been out of the closet for the longest time and I’ve always been able to be myself. I never needed to hide who I was, especially seeing that I was in Cornway High. In a way, I felt like this was going back into the closet.
But then again, I was the president of the GSA in school. I knew the importance of the coming out process and the time needed for someone to be comfortable with it. Sure, Cornway was accepting and even his dad seemed okay with it, judging by the boyfriend comment that time at dinner, but Evan still needed time to accept this. For all I knew, he was just beginning to question his sexuality and to suddenly say without a doubt that he was gay was far-fetched.