Rear Window (Revised Version)

Amateur

Rear Window (Revised Version)I was unhappy with some aspects of the original Rear Window.so I rewrote parts of it. I am now happy wit this new revised version,EnjoyRear WindowNikkie SilkRear Window is a 1954 film directed by Alfred Hitchcock and starringJames Stewart and Grace Kelly. This fictional story is inspired by someof the characters and events of the film. For a while I wished I could go back and start that day again. It hadall begun so well. The forecast was for a beautiful summer’s day; clearblue skies and wall to wall sunshine. I hadn’t taken the Norton out fora long time and this seemed the perfect opportunity. I pulled on myleathers feeling them a little tighter than the last time I wore them.It reminded me that I also needed to get back to the gym. I had beenworking away for the past six months and had been so busy that I had letmy training regime go.I adjusted my helmet and wheeled the bike out of the garage. It had beenserviced by my regular mechanic before I went away so I hoped that itwould fire up. Yes, that’s good, I thought, as the familiar roar camefrom the engine. I didn’t have any real plan as to where I was going. Ihad always enjoyed just getting on the bike and letting a journey unfoldin front of me. Free styling it like that had taken me to some wonderfulplaces I would never have found from a map.I rode slowly through the traffic choked streets of South London andonto the motorway just to open her up a bit. I wouldn’t stay on themotorway for long as it’s boring riding such a magnificent bike in astraight line. Give me England’s winding A or even B roads any day ofthe week. I was planning to take a month off after this last contract sothe ride today would be the beginning of my holiday.I turned off soon enough onto a two lane A road and just let the machinedo its thing. It was a perfectly balanced and powerful b**st and I thinkI’m a good rider when I’m in the groove. Bike and man were at one witheach other that day until ‘it’ happened.‘It’ happened when I had just come round a blind corner and found asmall Ford overtaking a lorry coming straight at me. The last thing Iremembered was the terrified look on the faces of the young lads in theFord.I woke up in hospital the next day with a broken collarbone, two brokenribs, a compound fracture of the right leg, a dislocated left knee, anda badly ruptured Achilles. I couldn’t remember what had happened, butthey told me I had been very lucky. I lost control of the bike as Itried to avoid the car and slid off the road into a thicket of bushes. The Ford and the lorry didn’t stop. Thankfully, a motorist following medid stop, called 999 and the air ambulance got me to hospital in ahurry.It could have been much worse.Still, it was bad enough. I was going to be laid up for a while. I hadjust moved into a newly converted apartment up on the top floor of anold four storey building in London. It had been a Victorian workhouse atone time with four wings built around a central courtyard. It was aperfect fit for my bachelor lifestyle; two double bedrooms, new kitchen,big lounge and a wet room. The big feature was floor to ceiling windowsin the living room which looked out over a shared landscaped courtyard.Perfect, aside from the fact there was no lift. I was discharged fromhospital a week after surgery; they needed the bed space, apparently. Ihad a surgical boot for the Achilles rupture, a plaster cast for thefracture and an arm sling for the collarbone. All in all, a class onescrew up.After some wrangling between my solicitors, my company and the healthinsurers, it was agreed that I could get a live in carer andphysiother****t for the two to three months’ recuperation I would need.The insurers were trying to claim the accident had been my fault, butthe witness statements together with the police report finally absolvedme of all blame.My parents had emigrated to Australia about five years previously sothere was going to be no help from them. Mum did offer to fly back over,but Dad hadn’t been well recently so I told her that she should stay outthere to look after him.My sister Mandy, a research biologist, was halfway up the Wazoo, or somesuch river in the Amazon, so no help there either. I didn’t have agirlfriend to call on as I had discovered my last one cheating on mewith her personal trainer. There was an old girlfriend who had offeredto pop in to keep me company from time to time, but that was as far asit went.There were mates, of course, but they were worse than useless when itcame to providing help. So, it was going to be me and my live in carerstroke cook stroke physio for the next couple of months. The hospitalsent me home in an ambulance and the paramedics, bless them, managed tocarry me up the stairs on one of those chair contraptions they have forsuch occasions. I had been given a wheelchair, and a commode chair, Godforbid.My carer was due to arrive at lunchtime and precisely at midday therewas a call on the intercom. I buzzed him in and several minutes laterthere was a knock on the door and I managed painfully to wheel myself tothe door and open it. Standing outside was a weedy looking guy with hishair in a ponytail and a couple of large suitcases.”Hi, I’m Paul, I’m your live in.””Oh. Right, I’m Jeff, pleased to meet you.”We shook hands and I guess I was a bit underwhelmed by him. He looked abit puny for the task of hauling me around for the next few weeks.Although I had already seen in hospital how much a tiny Filipina nursecould lift with the right technique. He had just hauled two heavysuitcases up four flights of stairs and he didn’t seem out of breath, soI guess that boded well.Paul immediately took the handles of the wheelchair and pushed me backinto the apartment before retrieving his suitcases.”That’s a lot to bring, isn’t it?” I said.”Just a few things for the next couple of months,” he replied, “it savesme having to go back for stuff.”Fair enough, I thought. I showed him the spare bedroom which was onlyjust smaller than mine. I had commissioned an interior designer mate ofmine to decorate and furnish the place before I moved in, so Paul’s roomhad never been used and he could just move his stuff straight in.”What a lovely apartment,” Paul said as he came back out of his room.”Did you do the design?””God, no,” I said. “If it had been left to me, I would have gonestraight to Ikea and bought everything there.”Paul smiled and said, “Well, whoever did it has very nice taste.”I looked around and saw it in a new light, and I guess it did lookpretty nice. It was a conversion and my friend had left as many originalfeatures as possible but had brought the entire apartment up to datewith modern furniture mixed in with a few older pieces I had inheritedwhen my parents moved to Australia.”OK,” said Paul, “let’s get the schedule organised shall we?”Paul turned out to be very efficient, and it was obvious he had donethis kind of work before. Before long we had a working schedule laid outfor meals and physio sessions, which would be twice a day to begin with.I could just about move around in the wheelchair but I would need helpwith showering and the toilet at least for a while. This was the part Iwasn’t looking forward to, but I thought I would just have to grin andbear it.”OK, what do you normally do for lunch?” Paul asked.”Pie and a pint at the pub, usually,” I said grumpily.He laughed and said, “Well, that might have to wait for a bit but let’ssee what we can rustle up.”Lisa, my old girlfriend, had ordered a whole load of groceries from anonline service and had been here the previous day to receive thedelivery, and to pay the guy a big tip for dragging it all up the stairsto the top floor. She is pretty good looking, though, so she has meneating out of her hand, me included while we were dating.”Is a croque monsieur and some soup OK?” Paul called out from thekitchen.”Sure, sounds good,” I called back.Paul brought it through on a tray complete with a bottle of lager. Godbless Lisa, she had gotten her priorities right. I pushed myself overthe window so I could at least look at something while I ate and tookthe tray onto my lap. Paul had made himself a small salad and sat at thetable to eat.”At least you have something to look at,” Paul said, nodding at thewindows.”Yea, better than daytime television I guess.” I said, sulking a bit,realising this was probably going to be my world for the next few weeks.We finished lunch, Paul cleared away, and we started on our first physiosession. I wheeled myself into the bedroom, and Paul helped lift me outof the chair onto the bed. He managed that with ease and I began torealise his smallish stature belied his real strength. I was wearing anold loose t-shirt and sweatpants as they were the only things I couldmanage at the moment. Paul carefully removed the t-shirt and then thesweat pants. His hands were very soft I noticed and very well-manicured.I even thought his nails had some clear varnish on them.From the first moment he laid hands on me I could tell how good amasseur he was. His hands were strong and gentle. He was working somekind of magic on me as he carefully went through a whole set ofexercises that the hospital had devised for me. I have to admit I feltso much better after the session.”Where did you train, Paul? You have wonderful hands” I said.”I trained as a physio here in London for three years after school andthen went travelling. I did the backpacker thing; India, Nepal, Bali,Australia and onto Thailand. I loved it there and travelled all over thecountry. Got to Bangkok and ran out of money. I worked as a masseurthere for a while, learning their techniques and eventually made my wayback to London.”I wondered about him working as a masseur in Bangkok and what that mighthave entailed. Paul chatted away about his time travelling and how muchhe had enjoyed Bangkok. It was a city I had always wanted to get to buthad never got round to visiting. He was easy to talk to; probably Irealised because he was a good listener, a skill that must have come invery useful in this job.He got me back into my t-shirt and sweatpants and wheeled me back intothe living room. I had my Apple laptop on the desk in front of thewindow so I could do some work from home. It also gave me the chance tolook at what was going on outside the window. The windows were floor toceiling and I could see most of the courtyard and a lot of the threeother blocks. It was a mixed development with some shops on the groundfloor, mostly artisan stuff; bread, cheese, delicatessen, organicproduce, a wine shop, and the ubiquitous coffee shop in one corner. Thefirst floor was let out as office space and the top two floors asapartments. The planning authorities had specified to the developersthat they couldn’t install elevators as it was a listed building so, itbecame literally a walk up.Paul had made some tea, and we sat looking out of the window as Iexplained the history of the place. I told him that families were splitup once they came into the workhouse with men, women and c***dren unableto see each other. Living conditions were deliberately kept bad to deterothers from becoming destitute, and harsh punishments were handed outfor trivial offences such as swearing. The food was so poor that theinmates were probably on a slow starvation diet. “Those poor people,” Paul said, “we can be so intolerant. I know allthis has changed,” and swept his arm across the view outside, “but westill don’t accept people for who they are.”He said this softly but with such passion I had to turn and look at him.He blinked once or twice, turned away and said he would leave me alonefor the afternoon.In addition to being a wonderful masseur, Paul turned out to be a verycapable cook. Lisa was coming by this evening as a kind of one-womanhousewarming. I asked Paul if he could cook for three tonight and hesaid it would be no problem.Lisa barged in about 6 o’clock and having kissed me on the cheek,started on about how she had warned me so many times about that bloodymotorbike and that I never listened to her and when was I going to finda woman and settle down because the clock was running and I wasn’tgetting any younger and yes I was very handsome but there is no timelike the present… She could as usual have gone on like that all nightif she hadn’t noticed Paul standing quietly at the kitchen door. Icalled him over and introduced them to each other.”Paul, this extraordinary force of nature and well known windbag isLisa, an ex of mine who is now happily married with three lovelybambinos, and Lisa, this is Paul my carer. Actually, no I can’t call youthat. I know, he’s my new BFF.”Paul laughed and shook hands with Lisa and said, “Pleased to meet youLisa,”Lisa said, “Likewise, Paul, and don’t take any crap from this man, he’simpossible, I should know.”Paul smiled, a big natural smile that lit up his face and said, “Oh,he’s just perfect I think. If you would excuse me I have to go check ondinner.”As Paul walked off to the kitchen Lisa watched him go and then turned tome, pulled a face and said, “EEuw that put me down didn’t it.””Stop it,” I said, “he’s just doing his job,””Hmm, well I have to tell you he’s very pretty.” She cast a look towardsthe kitchen and said, “He pings my gaydar too, you know.””What? Don’t be daft Lisa. He’s a carer, it doesn’t make him gay.””Daft? You know I’m just a big fag hag don’t you.””Bugger off and get us a drink, will you?””Poor choice of words my sweet.” she moved off to get me a scotch andherself a gin and tonic. She stuck her head through the kitchen door andasked Paul if he wanted anything. He asked for some sparkling water andLisa sorted us all out with drinks. Lisa and I had been an item forabout a year and I never really knew why, but we just drifted apart andone day we realised it would be better if we went our separate ways.Strangely enough we became good friends afterwards, and even when shemarried her Italian banker we kept in close touch. She had been andstill was a stunning looking woman and I sometimes regretted not tryingharder back then. She is also great company and soon had me laughingwith some of her very dirty jokes.Paul had made a beautiful spaghetti alle vongole with a salad and ahomemade tiramisu for dessert. The three of us sat up at the diningtable after closing the blinds to the outside. Paul had found mygrandmother’s silver candlesticks which I had forgotten about, and thelight from the candles helped to create a wonderful ambience around thetable.Paul’s food was delicious and time passed quickly. Lisa would as usualhardly shut up, and I watched Paul as he listened to one of Lisa’smonologues with rapt attention. In fact, he looked as if he might befalling for her. Lisa looked at her watch and announced she had to gobecause Paolo, her Italian husband, was babysitting tonight and he wasso untrustworthy with the c***dren.”Lisa, that’s scandalous, Paolo is a wonderful father and you know it.”He was too, totally devoted to Lisa and their c***dren.”Hmph,” was all she said as she stood up. Paul went to fetch her coatand Lisa hissed to me, “when you’re finished with him, can I have himplease? He’ll make someone a perfect wife.”I threw my napkin at her as Paul arrived with her coat. “Paul, thank youfor tonight, you are delightful, if you’ll allow me to say so, and youtwo make a lovely couple.”I laughed but caught sight of Paul who had gone pink. Lisa left afterkissing both of us goodbye and it was like a summer storm had come andgone. Paul cleared up the dishes, made coffee, and we sat and chatted alittle.Paul said, “I really like your friend Lisa, she’s so much fun. Shereminds me of Grace Kelly, you know before she got married to Princewhatshisface.””What?” I said, nearly choking on my coffee. “She’s lovely, but GraceKelly, I can’t see it.”There was a sparkle in Paul’s eye and I thought that Lisa had made onemore conquest. One last task remained to be achieved this evening. Paulpushed me through to the wet room and helped me onto the toilet in thecorner. I was damned if I was going to use their bloody commode. Wemanaged to do this without too many dramas and Paul diplomatically leftthe room as I did what I had to.I called him back in and he helped me back into the chair and off to thebedroom. I have always slept naked, except in hospital where I had towear one of their horrible gowns. Paul got me onto the bed and helped meoff with my t-shirt and pants. I thought it would be more embarrassingto have a man do this but with Paul there was a strength and gentlenessthat was reassuring and unthreatening.”Good night Paul and thank you.””You’re welcome Jeff and don’t forget to use the monitor if you needme.” He had brought with him a baby monitor so I could call for help ifI needed it.I was glad to be back in my own bed and partly because of that, anddespite, or maybe because of the wine and Scotch I had drunk, I sleptwell and woke refreshed and ready for the day. Paul was already up and Icould smell coffee brewing in the kitchen. I am not human before I havehad a couple of cups of coffee in the morning, so this was very welcome.Paul knocked on the door and brought me in a mug of black coffee,putting in on the side table. He had changed into what I assumed was hisprofessional working outfit of white trousers and a loose tunic.”Is black how you like it?””Perfect, Paul, thanks. What’s on the schedule today?””I suggest you finish your coffee and then should we get you cleaned upbefore physio?””OK, but I have to confess this is the bit that I’m not looking forwardto.”I was not allowed to shower myself so a wash was all I was allowed for awhile.Paul said gently, “I understand, but I have done this many times and itwill be quick and I will try not to be embarrassed.” He said this with astraight face.”No, I mean I will be emb…” I saw him laughing, and I grinnedsheepishly, but it had broken the tension.We got me into my dressing gown and made the short wheelchair ride tothe wet room. With Paul’s help, I managed to sit on a stool and aftergetting rid of the dressing gown Paul proceeded to wash me with aprofessional efficiency. The problem was that being washed by someoneelse is for me a very sensual experience. I had once been entertained bya Japanese client to a so called geisha bath and had been bathed by abeautiful Japanese girl. That was undoubtedly one of the most eroticexperiences I have ever had.Paul was very gentle and the combination of his soft hands and the warmwater called up memories of Japan and my cock decided to remember ittoo. It began to harden and there was no way I could really hide it. Iwas beetroot red but Paul didn’t seem to notice. It was while he wasdrying my back that I asked him, “Do you mind doing this, Paul?”He paused and then said, “It’s part of the job really, and sometimeswith clients it’s not a nice experience but with some clients it can beenjoyable.”I was watching his face in the mirror as he spoke and I could see faintpink spots on his cheeks as he continued to towel me dry. I also noticedhe had a small diamond stud in each ear. I tried to remember if I hadnoticed that last night but I couldn’t recall seeing them.”I hope you don’t mind, Jeff, but I have put my wash gear on the shelfin here, if you wish I can keep them in malatya escort my room?””No, that’s fine, Paul. Please consider this your home while you’rehere.””Jeff, thank you, that’s very sweet of you.”We fell into an easy routine, Paul would make breakfast then take me fora wash, it still gave me an erection, but he didn’t seem to payattention to it. We started with a physio session, coffee, and then Iwould spend time on the laptop or staring out the window. Lunch wasfollowed by another physio session, tea, then work or a ‘staring out thewindow’ break, and then dinner. Paul was a great cook and twice cookedme Thai meals which were fabulous. He had learnt to cook in Thailand andloved the food. He had a dream of going back there sometime, maybe evento live. He said that the Thai’s were much tolerant of differences thanwe were in the West. He was also good company and he would sit with meand chat about his life and what he enjoyed doing. He was an amateuractor in his spare time and had dreamt of turning professional but thechance had never really come along.One morning I was looking out through the window and he asked me what Iwatched.”It’s a bit like a human zoo out there, I guess. Look down there, forexample.” I pointed to an office on the first floor. A man was justpulling the blinds, and a girl was standing just behind him. “I thinkthey are having an affair as every day they come into this room at thistime. He closes the blinds and half an hour later he opens them again,and she is trying to straighten her dress. Or that apartment over there.There’s a guy who practices the violin every day and ends up cryingabout something. That one on the second floor, she’s had a poleinstalled and does a pole dance warm up routine every afternoon,generally wearing very little. Or the place opposite, the couple inthere seem to be fighting all the time, but I haven’t seen her for a fewdays. Maybe he’s done away with her.”Paul laughed, “As you said, who needs daytime TV?”“And on the first floor over there’s a guy who does stretches in frontof his window.”“What’s wrong with that?” asked Paul.“Nothing, except he does them naked.”Paul smiled and said, “Of course, not everything is what it seems.””Yes, you’re right, Paul. We don’t really know what goes on behindclosed doors do we.”For some reason he blushed as I said that.I quickly came to appreciate our twice daily physio sessions. Of course,some of it was pure agony as he stretched and pulled and iced me to keepmy muscles and joints supple and working as they should. Even thoseexercises were made bearable by the feel of his soft strong handsstroking and kneading my aching muscles. I rapidly began to look forwardto those sessions as the highlight of my day. He promised one day togive me an authentic Thai massage but as that could be very tough itshould wait for a while.I noticed that it wasn’t just his hands that were soft, he never seemedto show any sign of beard growth and his skin seemed to be in perfectcondition. His hair he kept in a ponytail but one day he came out of thewet room while I was wheeling myself to the kitchen, with his hairhanging down and he looked transformed. It framed and softened hisfeatures and I could see what Lisa had said about him being pretty.Lisa had popped in briefly a couple of evenings for a quick drink, andPaul visibly brightened when she was around. I thought that he wasgetting a big crush on her and when he was in the kitchen getting ourdrinks I told her so.”Oh brother,” she said, “you really don’t know what’s going on, do you?””What do you mean?” I asked, but Paul walked back in and Lisa justrubbed my shoulder as if in sympathy.Paul had his first day off on the sixth day he was with me. He hadarranged for a relief carer to come in after breakfast and then he wouldbe back later that night ready to start again the following morning. Wehad our usual breakfast of fruit, coffee and toast as he waited for therelief to arrive, before heading out the door carrying one of hissuitcases. Just going to drop off a few things, he said. See youtomorrow morning.The relief was a disaster. He thought of caring as more of a militaryassault course, barking out orders to me and treating me as some kind ofobstacle that had to be attacked, surrounded and defeated. The physiosessions were agony. How this guy was tolerated as a carer I have noidea. He completely ignored my wishes, not that he actually asked mewhat they were. It was his way or the highway as far as he wasconcerned. As the day wore on in increasing amounts of frustration, Irealised how much I missed Paul; his conversation, his smile, his softhands and his caring personality were things that I had come to value.At the end of the day I was praying for it to end so that Paul would beback. As I lay on my bed, unable to sleep after a horrible day, my mindstarted to spin. Why did I miss Paul so much? Was it just because of arough day with someone new?A startling thought popped into my head. I know some patients fall inlove with their nurses, is that what’s happening to me? I shook my headand thought, no, I’m not gay, I can’t be, I like women too much.Is Paul gay? Lisa had put that idea none too subtly into my mind and Ireally didn’t know. Did it make any difference, anyway? He was doing agreat job, so why would it matter? I thought it must be just that at areally low ebb I was fixating on the one person showing me some care andattention.I heard the outside door to the apartment open which must have been Paulreturning. I felt a huge surge of relief at the thought of him beingback and I fell asleep almost immediately. It must have been about 2o’clock in the morning when I awoke for some reason. My leg was achingbadly after the physio from Mister bloody Motivator and I knew that Ihad to get a painkiller or I would not get back to sleep. I realisedwith disgust that the bloody relief had left the tablets and a glass ofwater just out of my reach. The baby monitor was on; its light blinkingin the darkness. I could call for Paul but I should be able to do thisfor myself, for God’s sake.I bum shifted myself across the bed towards the table and reached outfor the tablets when I overbalanced and fell out of the bed. It wasn’t along drop, but I fell awkwardly and it felt as if I had been stabbed inthe leg with a red hot poker.”Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I heard myself saying. I needed Paul now. “Paul, canyou come? I need some help.” I shouted.Paul rushed into my room and said, “Shit, what have you managed to doJeff?””Fell on the bloody floor. What’s it bloody look like?”Paul ignored my sarcasm and calmly said, “OK, let’s get you back up andsee what damage has been done.”Paul bent at the knees to get his arms under my shoulders to lift meback on the bed and as his face came close to mine, I suddenly noticed atouch of colour around his eyelids that looked like eye shadow that hadnot been cleaned off properly, and there was, I’m sure, also just thehint of lipstick in the corner of his mouth. My eyes widened and I’msure he noticed my reaction, but all he did was to lift me effortlesslyback up and onto the bed.Paul quickly checked, and it didn’t seem that anything bad had happened,apart from a severely bruised ego that is. He fetched me a painkillerand the glass of water, covered me with the duvet and stood looking atme for a moment. He was wearing pajamas and as he bent over to pull theduvet up, even in the dim light I swear I could see a hint of lace ashis pajama top gaped open a fraction.”Are you OK now?” he asked gently.”Sure, thank you for getting me up so quickly. No harm done I think.I’ll be a lot more careful in the future.””OK, well I’ll see you in the morning Jeff, good night.””good night, and thank you, Paul.” I hesitated and said, “Paul?””Yes Jeff?””Oh, nothing really, it can wait. G’night.” I would save that for later.”Sure Jeff.”I woke the next morning sore and angry with myself. How stupid had Ibeen? I could really have seriously set back my recovery. After Ifinished feeling deeply sorry for myself, I remembered what I had seenwhen Paul came into my room last night. Had I really seen it, or was ita trick of the light and confusion because of the pain I was feeling?No, I was sure of what I had seen. There had been traces of makeup onhis face and he had been wearing something lacy beneath his pajamas.Oh shit, I thought. What’s going on? He must be gay, for sure. At thatmoment Paul knocked and came in with a coffee.”Jeff, I thought that after your night time adventure we should skipthis morning’s physio session and see how you feel this afternoon?””Sure, Paul, if you think that’s the right thing.” I was a bit harsh,and he looked at me oddly for a moment and then left the room. Paulreturned a little later to get me out of bed for my morning wash. Ibecame much more aware of his proximity when he helped me out of bed andinto my robe. I was dreading the next step which was to get me washed.For the first time I was able to get out of my robe and to sit on thestool unaided.Paul then began to wash me and I said, “Can I try please, Paul?”Paul handed me the washcloth and stood back as I struggled to washmyself. I dropped the cloth and angrily said, “Shit, bugger, arse.”Paul picked up the cloth and asked. “OK if I do it, Jeff?”I nodded, not looking at him and he started. As usual the combinationsof his hands and the gentle feel of the washcloth across my skin had mycock hardening within seconds. I tried everything that would keep mefrom thinking about what he was doing but to no avail. My cock was onlyinterested in its own pleasure, not its owner’s embarrassment. I went adeep red and Paul just kept washing and making it even worse. I thought,he’s enjoying this, making me have this reaction.I said, “That’s enough Paul, can we finish now?””Whatever you want Jeff.”He dried me off and then with my robe on he wheeled me into the livingroom to the desk. I opened up the Apple and started hammering away atthe keys trying to get rid of my frustration. What was up with me, Iknew he was gay and there I was getting an erection in front of himbecause he was touching me. God, what a mess. I couldn’t think straight;why did I feel differently now I thought he was gay? He had never beenanything else but professional towards me and had not tried anything on.Oh that’s fucking stupid, I thought, why does every straight bloke thinka gay guy is planning to grope him at the first opportunity. Paul hadmany opportunities to do something, but he had not. I really liked Paulbefore this happened and I missed him a lot when he was away. Was Isecretly attracted to him? Is that why I got an erection? Hell, this wasso confusing. I had ended up behaving like a complete jerk this morningand I didn’t know what to think.Paul came in with coffee and laid it next to me on the desk. I didn’tlook up.”Jeff, is there something wrong? Have I done something?” a simplequestion with a complicated answer. I didn’t say anything.”You seem very upset with me.”I grunted and thought, I have to say something, this is c***dish of me.I turned round and looked up at him. He looked worried.”Paul, last night when you came in to get me up off the floor, I couldsee traces of makeup on your face. Are you gay?”His face dropped, and he sat down and put his face in his hands.”I thought you might not have noticed. Oh God, I’m sorry, I’ll call theoffice and get a replacement for me and I’ll pack and leave today.” Helooked as if he was going to cry. I felt something lurch in my chest.”Paul, please just answer the question.” I asked softly, and I hoped,gently.He looked at me and said, “do you really want me to?”I nodded.He looked out of the window, took a deep breath and said, “If you wantto look it that way, I guess I am. Have been since I was thirteen.Satisfied?””And the makeup, Paul?”He shrugged and said, “Doesn’t matter, I’m leaving anyway.””Paul, please tell me, I want to know.”He was still looking away and then as if a barrier had fallen he startedto speak.”Not only did I know I was different at thirteen, I felt drawn towomen’s clothes. First my mum’s stuff, and then my sister’s. I gotcaught, of course, and gave it up for a while, but it’s like a d**g. No,that’s not quite right, it’s like you know this is what is right foryou, and you keep getting the urge to go back to it. Mum sent me fortreatment but that didn’t work. When I went to college it was bliss, Icould finally do what I had wanted to and dressed regularly.” He paused,his mind obviously back in the past.”I didn’t want to dress full-time; I was happiest when I could choosewho I wanted to be. I wasn’t sure whether I was gay or bi-sex at thattime. I liked men and women but felt more and more drawn sexually tomen. You would not believe the number of straight men who like to gowith a guy in a skirt.” I felt myself blush, but he wasn’t looking atme.”I’ve been the same ever since, I act pretty straight, I think, but Ireally like to dress whenever I can given the limitations of my job.” Hestopped and looked across at me. “Don’t worry, I will go, no problem,but believe it or not I have really enjoyed looking after you, and Ithink you did too. So, if that’s the case will you please not tell thecompany what I have just told you?””One more question, please, Paul. What about last night?”His shoulders dropped, and he looked away again, “Well, I’ve told youeverything else, so why not? On my days and nights off I go out dressedfor the day, I can pass as a woman pretty well. I’ll go to a club or abar where I can be myself with others like me. That’s where I was lastnight, I was too tired to clean my makeup off properly. I hoped youhadn’t noticed, but I knew by the way you reacted this morning you had.”He stood and went to go back to his room.”Paul, please sit down,” I said in as neutral a voice as I could muster.He looked at me and then sat down again. I knew I should ask him to go.”Paul, thank you for being so honest with me. You’re right, I haveenjoyed you being here and I couldn’t ask for someone to take bettercare of me than you. I admit it was a shock last night, and I didn’tdeal with it well this morning. I apologise to you for that.” I took adeep breath. “And I don’t want you to leave; I would like you to stay ifyou feel OK about it.”He looked at me trying to see if this was a trap, “Jeff, are you sure?”He seemed to be near to tears.”Yes, Paul, I mean it, will you please stay?” I smiled to show him Imeant it.”Jeff, oh yes, I would love to stay, If it’s alright with you. Thankyou.” I could see his eyes glisten and he wiped away a tear. “I won’tlet what happened last night occur again, I promise.””Paul, I really don’t mind what you do. It’s your life; you should liveit as it you want.” He was on the edge of tears again.”Thank you Jeff, this means a lot to me.”I asked him, “Do you have a name for when you, you know, are dressed?”He looked very shy when I asked and said hesitantly, “It’s Paula, notvery creative, but it’s easy to remember.”My heart was beating fast as I asked the next question, “Can I meetPaula?” Where the hell did that come from I thought to myself.He stood dead still, I think, fearing I was having him on. “Jeff, do youmean that?”I nodded, my voice getting a little thick as I said, “Yes, I would liketo. How about tonight? Would Paula like to come to dinner?”A big smile spread across his face, “I’ll have to check with her first,but I’m sure Paula would love to come to dinner with you.””There’s just one thing,” I said, my face and voice deadly serious, “CanI get a fresh cup of coffee, please?”Paul collapsed in giggles and said, “Coffee coming right up, sir.”The day passed quickly, Paul was his usual professional self and afterlunch I felt fit enough for a physio session. This was the first sessionafter this morning’s confession and Paul seemed a little hesitant in hismassage but he seemed to relax as he sensed I was not at all concerned.His hands and fingers soon had their usual reaction, and I almost fellasleep at one point.It gave me time to think. Why had I asked for Paula to come to dinner?Curiosity, I thought, I wanted to see him as his other self. I thoughtabout him growing-up and how confused he must have been. Even now tohave a c***d come out at that age must be difficult for parents tohandle, and the dressing must have made it extra tough. I couldn’timagine the struggles he must have gone through with others and himself.I thought that he seemed to have grown into his skin pretty well. Was Iworried about tonight? Yes, I was a bit nervous that he would look likea bloke in drag but I would have to deal with that if it happened. I wascomfortable with Paul and I hoped I would be equally so with Paula.The session finished, Paul wheeled me back to the desk with a cup oftea. I had a brainwave and suggested that instead of Paul, or Paula,cooking tonight we should order a takeaway. Paul frowned and asked if Ididn’t like his cooking. I laughed and said that I loved it but it wouldbe better if I met Paula tonight without her having to cook too. Heeventually agreed, and I ordered from my usual Indian takeaway.Paul left me alone after that and we agreed that dinner would be ateight, with a drink at 7.30. I did some work for the rest of theafternoon and then watched some mind numbing TV for a while. I wasnervous and I couldn’t imagine what Paul must be feeling. At 7.30 I wasdoing some people watching through the window as I heard the door toPaul’s room open.”OK, I guess I’m ready.” The voice was somehow Paul’s and then notPaul’s at the same time.I turned the chair round fearing for the worst and my mouth droppedopen. What confronted me was not a bloke in drag but a beautiful woman.If Paul was weedy as a man, he was just gorgeous as a woman. Holy shit,I thought.”Well, what do you think? I’m Paula, by the way.”I realised I still had my mouth open and closed it rapidly. “Hi, I’mJeff and I’m very pleased to meet you Paula. You’re absolutely gorgeous.Oh, I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that, but you are.”Paula blushed and murmured, “Thank you. I scrub up alright, Can I getyou a drink?””Scotch please, better make it a large one.”It gave me a chance to look at Paula properly. Her hair was hangingloose over her shoulders and she was wearing what I guessed was called alittle black dress. It was sleeveless, with a vee neck, and fell toabout six inches above her knees and absolutely hugged her figure. MyGod, she actually has a figure, I thought, and her legs were to die for.She was wearing a small gold chain round her neck with a locket, dropearrings, a gold bracelet on one wrist and a tiny watch on the other.She had on dark tights and some very expensive looking black heels. Ijust couldn’t believe my eyes and I could feel a stirring in my trouserscaused by what I was seeing, and I had to shift in the chair as I wasgetting uncomfortable.Paula turned round with our drinks and she came across and sat on thesofa opposite me and crossed her legs. The action made the hem of herdress ride up her thigh, and if I wasn’t uncomfortable before, I surelywas now.”Well, what do you think, Jeff?” She looked anxious, almost dreadingwhat I might say.I took a moment to compose myself, then smiled broadly and said, “Paula,if I wasn’t mardin escort seeing you with my own eyes, I wouldn’t believe it. I meanyou are stunning.””Thank you, that’s very sweet of you to say so. I was so nervous gettingready tonight, I thought I might have overdone it.”Her makeup was light, but she had used it to highlight her eyes andmouth. I think she had plucked her eyebrows because there was a moredefined arch to them tonight. She had used eye shadow that drew yourattention to her eyes and she had on a light pink lipstick that made hermouth look very kissable. God, did I just think that? At that momentPaula ran her hand back through her hair and that nearly did for me.It’s a gesture that gets me every time when a woman does it. Thestirring had definitely become much more than that.Luckily, the door buzzer went and Paula walked across to the intercomand buzzed in the delivery guy with the food. I watched her as shewalked across to the door and there was no trace of masculinity in herstride or bearing. She looked as feminine as could be.Paula returned with the food and sorted out plates and cutlery and wetucked in at the table. I asked her to open a bottle of red wine and shecame back with two glasses. She said she wouldn’t normally on a schoolnight as she put it but it might settle her nerves a bit. I told her sheshouldn’t be nervous; I was delighted to be having dinner with such abeautiful lady. She tipped her head and looked at me out of the cornerof her eye and said thank you and that she appreciated it.The wine relaxed us both, and we were soon laughing and joking just asPaul and I did. From time to time I caught a glimpse of Paul in her butit was obvious that Paula was an individual and much, much more thanPaul in a dress. She talked about when she was in Bangkok getting somecosmetic work done; smoothing her Adam’s apple and some implants on herhips. She had taken hormones for many years but was now happy with whatthey had achieved so took a lower dose these days. She pushed her chestout and said quite proudly that they were entirely natural. I hadalready noticed she had boobs and asked how she kept them hidden asPaul.Easy, she said, they are not big enough to make it a real problem underthe loose tunic Paul wore as long as she bound them up in the morning.Same with the hips, it doesn’t notice in the work outfit either.Eventually, she stood and said it’s late and we still had to get meready for bed. Even that coming from Paula sounded very different.”Jeff, I want to thank you for letting me do this, and for the way youhave made me feel this evening. You have been fabulous.”She stood and moved over to me, squatted beside the chair and gave me akiss on the cheek. I could smell her perfume and as she moved back fromthe kiss, she paused and we looked into each other’s eyes. I felt myheart flip and suddenly this wild thought flashed into my head that allI had to do was move a little closer and kiss her, but I just coughedand said you’re welcome and it had been an enjoyable pleasure. Shedipped her head once more and pecked me again on the cheek.She wheeled me to the wet room, and I was now getting much better atsorting this out by myself. I could feel myself healing now and thecollar bone seemed to be getting much easier. Paula wheeled me into thebedroom and helped me off with my t-shirt and then pulled off the sweatpants. Needless to say being put to bed by Paula was very different tobeing put to bed by Paul. I had a definite erection which Paula couldnot have failed to notice. She pulled the cover up and leant forward togive me one more kiss on the cheek.”Thanks Jeff, you are wonderful, do you know that?”She left the room leaving me to think about the sight of her smalluncontained breasts through the vee of her dress as she had leant overme.The next morning Paul woke me with the usual cup of coffee dressed inhis work tunic and trousers. There was no sign of Paula from theprevious evening. The first hurdle was to get washed. I was moving muchmore freely now and managed to walk from the chair to the stool. I stilldidn’t trust myself to wash properly so Paul took the cloth. Somethinghad changed after yesterday and the washing still felt as good as ever,but I felt no reaction as I had in previous days. All I could think ofwas that I wished it was Paula doing the washing.We sat and drank coffee and watched what was happening outside thewindows. The violinist was practicing and wiping his eyes, the guy inthe office drew the blinds one more time and the husband who argued withhis wife was wheeling a large trunk into their apartment.”Paul, do you mind me asking you a couple of questions? I mean about youand Paula?”He looked at me, obviously considering how to answer. “OK, I’ll answerwhat I can. If I think it’s inappropriate, I’ll say so.””Do you prefer living as Paul or Paula?””Easy one,” he said. “Both.”I must have looked puzzled, because he went on. “OK, I like myprofessional life to be as Paul and after work I like to become Paula.It would make it difficult to work as Paula unless I wanted totransition completely and I don’t want to do that, at least not at themoment.””So you, er, still have, um, you know…”He laughed, “Yes, Jeff, I have a penis, and it still works, I think thatwas your next question.”I turned red and said, “I’m sorry.””Don’t worry, I wouldn’t answer these questions for everyone, but Ithink I can trust you, so I will. I don’t want to lose my penis; I enjoyit for giving and receiving pleasure.”I went a deeper shade of red. Paul didn’t seem to notice.“You remember when I asked you the first time if you were gay? You saidsomething about if I wanted to say it that way. What did you mean bythat?”Paul paused, deciding whether to answer. He hesitated, then said, ‘It’sa bit difficult, Jeff, it’s taken me a long time to work it out formyself, but I’ll try to explain. I don’t think of myself as male orfemale exclusively. I mean I feel comfortable as Paul, and as Paula. I’mnot bi-sexual, so as Paul, I’m more asexual than anything, but as Paula,I am strongly attracted to men. So, to answer your question, no, I don’tthink of myself as gay, it’s more complicated, more fluid than justbeing gay, or straight, or even bi-sexual. Does that make any sense?”I thought for a moment and nodded. “I think so, Paul.”We were both quiet for a while, looking out through the glass. A cockpigeon was following a hen along the window sill with his chest allpuffed up, but she was definitely playing hard to get. We both startedto giggle watching them as the cock got increasingly frustrated beforefalling off the window sill and flying away. As we laughed I turned toPaul, “You know if Paula wants to visit again she’ll be perfectlywelcome to, anytime. I liked her company last night.”This time, he can’t have missed the blush that seemed to cover me.He smiled and looked me in the eyes, “Jeff, that’s nice, I think shewould like that a lot.”Paula did indeed appear that night; she was dressed casually this timein tight jeans, a white fitted shirt and short boots. Her hair was up ina ponytail but this time tied high on the head and with a bright redscrunchie holding it in place. Her makeup was light but still managedto highlight her eyes and those kissable lips. I couldn’t now think ofher lips without mentally adding the word kissable to them.We had a nice evening, Paula cooked pasta, and I had half a bottle ofChianti and Paula had a glass. Getting to bed was getting to be a loteasier as well. I could now get onto the bed myself but Paula still hadto slip off my sweat pants. She pulled up the covers and leant forwardsto give me a kiss. It seemed natural for Paula to do this. This timethough she hesitated for a heartbeat and then kissed me on the lips. Thetouch of her lips on mine was electrifying. She pulled back andanxiously scanned my face, fearing she had gone too far. I smiled up ather raised my head and kissed her on the lips.I said “G’night Paula,” and settled down happily.”good night Jeff, sweet dreams.”In the morning I felt better than I had since before the accident. Imanaged to roll myself over and get from the bed to the wheelchairwithout falling over. Real progress I thought.The next few days passed in the same way. Paul looked after me by dayand Paula appeared in the evening. I was becoming increasingly aware ofmy attraction to Paula. We would kiss good night and she would disappearoff to her bedroom and reappear as Paul the next morning. I found myselflooking forward more and more to seeing Paula appear in the evening. Itbecame the highlight of my day when she would appear from her bedroom,and we would spend the evenings like a couple, debating which movie towatch after dinner or talking about the goings on outside the window. Iwould catch myself looking over to her and wondering why I felt so happywhen she was here.I was definitely making great strides in my recuperation. The dailymassages and exercises were becoming less painful, and day by day I wasbecoming far more mobile. I was still heavily dependent on Paul though,but I could see a time when I wouldn’t need him as a carer and that mademe feel miserable. Lisa had texted that she was going to drop round thefollowing evening and when I told Paul he seemed happy enough but therewas something bothering him.”What is it? I thought you liked Lisa, I even thought you fancied herfor a while.”He laughed and said, “I don’t fancy her, but she is the kind of woman Iwould like to be, well not actually be, but she is so funny andbeautiful and full of energy.”I stared at him and said without thinking, “If it was a choice betweenPaula and Lisa, I would choose Paula every time.”Paul stood stock still and said very carefully, “Jeff, be careful whatyou say. You should only say things you really mean.”I looked him in the eyes and said, “I mean it, and I will show you, whydoesn’t Paula meet Lisa tomorrow night?””You can’t be serious, Jeff.””I am serious, I would be proud to be seen with Paula, anywhere, withanyone.” I was talking wildly, but I knew I meant it.Paul looked long and hard at me and said, “OK, if that’s what you want,Jeff, but I warn you, you have more to lose than me.”Later that night after we had finished dinner at the table, and Paulawas about to clear away, I reached over and took her hand. She looked atmy hand holding hers and then back to me.”Jeff, please be sensible. You can’t mean this.”I pulled her over towards me, “Paula, will you please kiss me?”She hesitated and then dropped my hand and ran to her room. If I could Iwould have kicked myself. You stupid numbskull, blockhead, jackass,fool, you idiot. I called myself every name under the sun.I managed to get myself to the toilet and then into bed by myself. Iwould have cheered if it weren’t for what had happened earlier. I hadturned the lights off and had settled down when I heard the door openand a chink of light flashed before the door was closed. I felt thecovers being lifted and Paula slipped in beside me. Oh my God, Ithought, this is it.”Jeff, do you still want that kiss?””Oh yes, I do.”She covered my lips with hers and she pushed her tongue past my lips. Ikissed her back and her hands went round my head and we mashed our lipstogether. She broke the kiss, sat up straight and lifted off her shortnightdress and placed my hands on her breasts. They felt small, but thenipples hardened immediately under my touch. She bent down to kiss meagain and my tongue this time pushed past her lips. Our tongues dueledas I continued to play with her breasts. She moaned as I tweaked hernipple which made her move up towards me and she pushed her nipple intomy mouth. I swirled my tongue around the hard nub and nipped it with myteeth. She made a purring noise like a cat and slid the other nippleinto my mouth. I winced as I moved a little too quickly but managed togive this nipple the same treatment as the other.My cock was bumping into Paula’s tummy and she licked her hand thensnaked it down between us, wrapping her fingers around the shaft. Shebegan to rotate her fingers around the head, making me suck in mybreath. She giggled, then kissed me hard on the lips, her tongue lancinginto my mouth. She let go off my cock and her hands found their way tomy nipples and she rolled them between her fingers, then nipped thembetween her fingernails, making me moan with pleasure. She bathed thenipples with her tongue, soothing the pain from her fingernails. It wasthe most exquisite feeling. She raised herself up again, and I could seeher looking down at me, trying to work out if I knew what I was doing.”Are you sure you want this, Jeff? You know what I am and what I’ve gotdon’t you?”I answered by pulling her down into a long and deep kiss.She broke off and said to me, “I guess I’m going to have to do all thework here.” She giggled, “Jeff, do you know how porcupines make love?””No,” I said, thoroughly confused.”Very, very carefully.” She replied.I laughed and then stopped as I felt her mouth envelop my rigid cock.Paula was a Phd at cocksucking and she took her time; licking, sucking,nipping and stroking my cock and balls, taking me close to the edge andthen holding me back, each time making me harder and harder. She wasplaying with me as her tongue teased and her lips taunted my strainingcock. I couldn’t move so Paula was in total control; it was as if I hadbeen tied up and only she could decide when I would be allowed therelief I now craved. Finally, she let me have the release I had been onthe edge of for so long. Paula kept her lips wrapped around me as Ifelt my climax surge through me and I erupted into her mouth. She gaggedonce and then she must have swallowed. She sucked me dry, let my cockslip out and slid up the bed to kiss me and I could taste the saltinessof my cum left on her lips. I flopped back exhausted as she slipped outof bed saying, “I’ll be back, so don’t go anywhere.” She giggled as sherealised what she had said.She must have gone to the bathroom because when she returned she smelledof toothpaste. She came back to bed and lay down beside me. I wanted toreach out and cuddle her but at the moment that was beyond me. I foundher hand and brought it up to my lips and kissed it.I whispered, “that was wonderful, Paula”She touched my face with her fingers, drawing one along my lips and Isucked it into my mouth. She lay her head on my chest and slid herfingers across my skin, making me shiver with pleasure.She said, “We’ll have to talk in the morning, Jeff.”With that she kissed me once more, and we just lay together as herbreathing became shallower until eventually she dropped off to sleep. Ilay awake for a while, wondering if I really did know what I was gettingmyself into. This was a journey into the unknown for me; there was nomap and no guidebook for where I was going. The last thing I rememberbefore I too fell asleep was, ‘I never did like maps, anyway.’I awoke to find myself alone in the bed and I smiled as I smelled coffeebrewing a millisecond before remembering with a rush what had happenedlast night. To be honest, my first feeling was embarrassment as Irecalled what had gone on. That was driven out by an intense feeling ofexcitement, followed by a dreadful feeling of guilt. I may have sleptwith Paula only in the literal sense of the word, if not the othersense, but there was no getting away from what we had done. We hadkissed, and she had sucked my cock. I went red at the thought of it. Didthat mean I was gay? I tried to tell myself I had slept with Paula, notPaul. But even I realised that was a distinction without a difference. Ismiled as I remembered how she had made me feel, and I thought,‘Actually you know what, I don’t give a damn.’Paul knocked as he always did and came in with coffee.”Morning, Jeff, how are you?”I grunted something. I told you I am not human without coffee. “Ok. When you’ve had your coffee and recovered the power of speech, canyou get yourself out of bed and into the chair?””OK, slave driver.””Let me know and I’ll come back to collect you.”How could either of us just not say anything about last night? Are wegoing to pretend it never happened? Was it just a one-night stand? Idecided to play it by ear and see what would happen. I struggled a bitto get out of bed but wheeled myself off to the wet room. I had managedto shift myself out of the chair and onto the stool when I saw Paulleaning against the door.”Aren’t you going to help?””Looks like you’re doing a fine job yourself, Jeff. Do you need anyhelp?””No, probably not.””Give me a call if you do.”I coped pretty well today and wheeled myself out to the living roomwhere Paul had laid breakfast. We ate in silence and then both of usbegan to speak at the same time. We laughed, and that broke the tension.”You first,” said Paul.”Lisa,” I said.Paul smiled, “Yes, your lovely ex who is visiting tonight.””Will you be Paul, or Paula?””Who would you like me to be?”I thought for a moment and I knew I should say, Paul.”Paula,” I said.”OK but Paula will need a bit more time to compete with a Grace Kellylookalike if that’s OK?”I laughed and said, “That’s fine, but don’t tell her you think she’s aGrace Kelly clone, because she’s unbearable enough as it is.”Paul took himself off to get ready at 5 o’clock with Lisa due at 7. Iamused myself by looking out the window and reading a bit. The man whoargued with his wife looked as if he was giving his apartment a thoroughdeep clean. He was wearing rubber gloves, an apron and what looked likewellington boots as he appeared to be scrubbing the floors.At 6.45, Paula opened her bedroom door and announced, “Here I come,ready or not.”She walked out and my heart skipped a beat. This time she had done herhair like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s and was wearinganother black dress, sleeveless but with a high neckline and a flaredskirt together with the black heels she had worn the first night. Shewore a single string of pearls around her neck and a silver bracelet onher wrist. I was blown away.She twirled round, and the skirt filled out, “Will I do?””Oh yes, you’ll do alright.” My pulse began to race and I could feel mycock swelling.At that moment the intercom buzzed, and I wheeled over to let Lisa in.She breezed in through the door like a yacht in full sail and startedtalking straight away.I held up my hand for her to stop.”Lisa, I would like you to meet my new carer.” I motioned to Paula, whostood up from the chair and walked across to Lisa and shook her hand.”Pleased to meet you Lisa, I have heard so much about you from Jeff.”Lisa smiled and said, “Likewise. I’m sorry, I didn’t catch you name.””It’s Paula.””Oh, hi Paula, that’s a coincidence Jeff’s last carer was called Paul.What happened to hi…” Lisa stopped dead and stared closely at Paula.”Oh fuck,” she said, “It can’t be can it? Oh shit, it is, you’re Paul.”She sat down, looking shocked. “What the fucking hell is going on,Jeff?””Lisa,” I said, “I always told you that you sounded like a truck driver,you still do.””Screw that, and you.” she said, “I need to know what’s going on. And Ineed a drink, a stiff one.”Paula went to fetch a gin and tonic and brought me a large Scotch. Lisatook a huge gulp and looked at me and then Paula.”My Christ, Paula, elazığ escort you are gorgeous. You look fabulous.” Lisa wasrecovering fast. “You are one big bastard, Jeff for pulling this on me,I will never forgive you. Now, will one of you tell me what the hell isgoing on?”I told Lisa about discovering Paul’s secret and Paula told her aboutgrowing up and how she became Paula. Lisa was rapt and for once keptquiet for the whole of the story. As Paula finished Lisa sighed andleant back in her chair.”Paula, that’s one hell of a story, you must have been through somerough times.” She nodded her head towards me and said, “and this oldbastard over here didn’t mind?””No, Jeff has been wonderful. I offered to leave but Jeff said no, hewanted me to stay. He suggested he meet Paula and then he agreed to letme be Paula when I want. I’m Paul during the day as his carer and then Ican be Paula in the evening.”Lisa looked at me over the top of her glass and raised her eyebrows atme. I ignored her but knew she wouldn’t let it go.Paula excused herself and headed to the kitchen.”Well, well, well, what a tangled web we weave. And are you two, youknow, dirty dancing? I mean together?” Lisa was never subtle.”God, no. I mean it’s totally professional and I guess we’re friends butthat’s it, you dirty minded witch.” Even as I said it, I could tell shedidn’t believe it.”I can tell you, I know a whole host of red-blooded men who wouldn’thesitate to fuck her brains out given half a chance.”I said, “Can I trust you on this, Lisa? This has to be between us, Imean.””Oh sure, I’ll only tell Paolo, and it’ll be on my Facebook page latertonight.”She saw my face and said, “Oh, don’t wet your pants; I will keep yoursecret. Anyway, I can’t tell Paolo because he would be first in line tohave a go at her.”Second, actually. But I said that in my head.Lisa said, “You know he, she whatever looks like Audrey bloody Hepburn?She’s gorgeous.”I smiled and said softly, “She thinks you look like Grace Kelly, but Ishouldn’t have told you that.””Huumph,” she said, normally a good sign from Lisa, “but that doesn’tmake you James Stewart.””Paula, I’m coming through to help,” yelled Lisa as she walked into thekitchen.Help, as in interrogate, I thought.The evening went extremely well. Lisa seemed to take a real shine toPaula and before we knew it, Lisa was grabbing her coat.”Got to go see if Paolo has been force feeding the babies pasta again.”She said as she headed for the door. She bent down to kiss me andwhispered, “Better keep your door locked tonight, or maybe Paula shouldkeep her door locked. Actually, looking at you two, I’m betting it’salready too late for that.””Witch,” I hissed back.Lisa kissed Paula on both cheeks and sailed out of the door.I needed a Scotch to recover as Paula and I sat and chatted about Lisa.Paula really liked her and especially so when I told her that Lisathought she looked like Audrey Hepburn. I was in the wheelchair andPaula was on the sofa, her legs tucked up beneath her. It felt reallycomfortable just sitting with Paula like this at the end of a lovelyevening. I finished my drink and wheeled myself off to the toilet. Nextbig challenge I thought, what happens tonight?I came back out and Paula was clearing away. I wheeled over to her andtold her to leave those until the morning. I asked if she could wheel meinto the bedroom. She did so and then turned to leave.”Where are you going?” I asked.”To my bedroom, of course.””Better stay here,” I said, “it will save me having to wheel myself overto your room.”She smiled slowly, unzipped the dress and let it drop to the floor toreveal just a tiny white bra and panties. She reached behind her backand unclipped the bra freeing her small but perfect looking breasts. Icould see a bulge in the front of her panties and I shivered at thethought of what that contained. What have I let myself in for, Ithought, but my cock began to grow at the sight of Paula’s nearly nakedbody.I was still in the wheelchair and she began to dance closer, her bodymoving and gyrating slowly and sinuously to some imaginary music. Sheput her hands on the arms of the chair and brought her breasts close tomy face. I reached out for them but teasingly she moved away again andthen dipped back into me so my mouth could just touch her breast. Iflicked out my tongue to brush the nipple and she then pushed it rightinto my mouth and I sucked it until it grew hard. Moving away again sheturned round and brought her bum up close, wiggling it right up to myface.“It’s not fair to tease an invalid.” I said, and she giggled as shestroked her bum with her hands, bent right over and looked at me frombetween her legs. I could feel my cock getting painfully hard now.Spinning around, she dipped the other nipple into my face and allowed meto lick and suck that one until it must have been painfully hard. Shestood up, her hips grinding from side to side and slid her hands acrossher belly and up to her breasts, rubbing and kneading them. I heardmyself make a sound from somewhere in the back of my throat.By this time, I had a positively painful erection. She dropped to herknees and slowly eased down the sweatpants I was wearing to let my cockspring free. She looked up at me and slowly leant forward to take me inher mouth, all the while keeping her eyes locked on mine. This was evenmore spectacular than last night as I could see exactly what she wasdoing. Her mouth and tongue sucked and licked my cock and balls soexpertly that it was not long before I was ready to climax.She sensed I was close and held me back a little and then acceleratedher pace until I could bear it no longer. “I’m cumming, I’m cumming.” Imanaged to blurt out before my hips bucked and I unloaded into hermouth. She looked up at me as she sucked everything into her mouth,swallowed, then licked her lip to clean the last of the cum that hadspilled from her mouth.Paula slowly stood up, and I saw that she was aroused because her cockwas pushing out over the top of her panties. I felt a rush of bloodthrough my head and I felt compelled to reach out my hand to touch her.She looked down and said, “Are you sure?”I nodded, my tongue too dry to say anything. Paula slipped down thefront of her panties and her cock stood out proudly from her groin, thepurple head glistening with pre cum. My fingers brushed the shaft, and Ijumped as it twitched. It felt soft yet hard at the same time; so muchlike my own, yet so different. I gently began to stroke it, circling theshaft with my fingers and she began to rock her hips back and forwardsso that it slid through my fingers.I looked up and there was a look of pure bliss on her face as I startedto move my hand in time with her thrusts, and I could feel it gettingharder as she pushed through my hand. I was mesmerised by the sight ofher cock, with its glistening purple head and slit staring at me, daringme to go the next step.I moved forward and nervously slipped my tongue through my lips to touchthe head of her cock. I had no idea what to expect, but was surprisedthat it felt soft and warm. Paula jumped a little as she felt my tongueand gave a little gasp as she realised what was happening. I touched itagain with my lips this time and I looked up to see her eyes locked onmine, pleading with me to keep going. I had crossed so many linesalready that I thought another wouldn’t matter, so I closed my eyes andslid my lips over the head of her cock.I knew enough to keep my teeth out of the way and tried to use my tongueas Paula and others had done to me. It felt odd at first, like a bigthumb in my mouth, but it felt soft and spongy on the outside but hardunderneath. I started to suck and lick and felt it pulse in my mouth,and Paula moaned so I thought I was doing something right. I tried tofollow what Paula had done to me, using my tongue and lips around thehead and then taking the shaft in as far as I could. I could feel itgrowing harder and I gagged a few times but kept going. I felt Paula’shands on the back of my head as she began to rock her hips pushing hercock deeper into my mouth. She moaned again and her knees buckled alittle and she grew bigger in my mouth and I guessed she was gettingclose.”OOOohhh,” I heard her say, and she pulled out and cum arced from hercock in a great spurt across my chest. Her cock twitched and more cumoozed out of the slit. Paula touched the end of her cock with her littlefinger and I could see strands of cum glistening in the light. Sheoffered me her finger, and I just touched it with my tongue beforesucking the finger into my mouth. That was my crossing the Rubiconmoment; nothing would ever be the same again.Paula ran to the wet room and came back with a washcloth and she cleanedup the cum on my chest. She bent down and kissed me passionately andsaid, “Thank you, Jeff that was beautiful.”I tried to climb out of the chair but I just couldn’t manage it. Paulahelped me up and onto the bed where I lay exhausted from what had justhappened. I held onto her hand and she lay gently down beside me. Ikissed her and said, “Please stay with me tonight, I want to wake upnext to you in the morning.”She had a serious look in her eyes as if she was debating somethinginside, “OK, Jeff, if you’re sure that’s what you want.””I’m sure,” I said, kissing her hand.She lay back, pulled the covers up over us both and holding my hand weboth drifted off to sleep.I woke to the sound of my phone buzzing on the bedside table. It was atext from Lisa.Lisa ‘Did u lock yr door?’Jeff ‘MYOB’Lisa ‘Tht means no then’Jeff ‘MYOFB!!!’Lisa ‘BJ?’Jeff ‘Go away’Lisa ‘wouldn’t blame u if u did XOXO’Jeff ‘C u in next life XOXO’I turned the phone off after the last one. The woman was incorrigible,but she was my best friend and knew me better than anyone else. Shewould always be on my team, I knew that.Paula had got up earlier and I could smell the coffee brewing, myabsolutely favourite smell on the planet. Paul knocked on the door andbrought a coffee in.”I think you can dispense with knocking on the door, don’t you think?” Isaid. Paul was in carer mode; man style ponytail, white tunic, trousers,and no makeup.”Pure habit, it’s just politeness. I don’t want to walk in if you’redoing something private.” He grinned as he said it.”That ship has sailed. I think you’re in here for most of the privatestuff these days.” I replied, my grin as wide as his.At lunch I told Paul that I didn’t mind if he wanted to stay as Paulafull time while he was here. He said he would think about it but he wasused to handling the dual characters and Paul suited him for work. Ispent the day thinking about what would happen next. At some point Iwouldn’t need a carer any more, and I had to decide what I wanted to do.I was idly taking in the view when I saw movement in the apartment ofthe arguing couple. There were people in what looked like policeuniforms inside.“Paul, come here, look what’s happening.” We both watched as the policeseemed to be conducting a search of the apartment.“I bet he’s killed her.” I said to Paul. “He put her body in that trunk,then he was cleaning up the place to remove the evidence.” Paul slippedout to see if he could find out what was happening from peopledownstairs. He came back an hour or so later with a grin on his face.“You couldn’t have been more wrong. According to the people in the shopsthey had a big bust up and she went to stay with her mother. From what Iheard, she tried to get back at him by telling the police he was dealingd**gs from the apartment. They didn’t find any d**gs, but they’vearrested her for wasting police time. Not everything, Jeff, is what itlooks like. You should know that better than anyone.”I threw a cushion at him, which luckily missed. The day slipped pastwith our regular physio sessions which were getting easier now I washealing fast. Paul was professional as always with his massage, but thefeel of his hands on my body took on a different dimension after lastnight, and I wondered if it would be any different if Paula was givingme the massage instead. After dinner we sat and talked on the sofa,Paula with a coffee and me with a Scotch. I knew there was something Ihad to say now, so I screwed up my courage and took a deep breath.”Paula, there’s something I need to ask.”She immediately looked worried.”Do you like me Paula?””Yes, of course I do, Jeff. You surely don’t need to ask that, do you?””No, I mean, do you really like me?” I sounded like a bloody schoolgirl.Paula didn’t answer for a moment and said, “What are you trying to say,Jeff?”Oh shit, here goes, “At some time soon I will be well again and you willmove onto another client. I wondered would it be possible for us to keepseeing each other? I mean if you would rather not, I understand, but Ithought it might be nice if we could…” I tailed off, fearful she wouldsay no or laugh at me.”Jeff, are you asking if we could date each other?””Erm, yes, that is what I’m asking.” I was blushing now.”Oh Jeff, that’s so sweet and yes I would love to date you.” Paula stoodup and gave me a kiss and a hug. Nothing could wipe away the smile on myface.Paula was tidying away as I got ready for bed and rolled myself into mybedroom. Paula looked at me and said, “Where should I sleep tonight?””Where would you like to sleep, Paula?”She grinned and walked over to my room. She helped me get up onto thebed and disappeared off to the bathroom. She came back wearing abeautiful coral pink babydoll nightie that sent my blood pressurethrough the roof. She dimmed the lights and slipped in beside me. I hadnever felt so happy yet so useless as I did at that moment. I wanted toembrace this woman and make love to her, but my injuries were still tooawkward to even think about it, and she sensed something was botheringme.”What’s up Jeff?””These fucking injuries, I can’t do anything I want to do.” I waspractically weeping with frustration.She gently stroked my face and asked, “What can’t you do?””You know, I want to, Oh, you know,”She leant on her elbow and looked serious. “Do you mean you want to fuckme, Jeff?””Yes, yes that’s exactly what I mean.””Oh if that’s all, then we just need to be creative.” She grinned andsaid, “Stay there and don’t move, back in a jiffy,”She skipped out of the room and was back a few seconds later carrying asmall bottle. Climbing back onto the bed she carefully moved on top ofme and began to kiss my stomach, little butterfly kisses that tickledand then began to inflame. She moved up to my nipples and took first oneand then the other into her mouth until they were as hard as rock. Shemoved up to attack my neck with delicate little kisses and nips. Thisslow gentle foreplay was driving me nuts, and I was already hard. Shefinally reached my face and planted little kisses on my face and thennibbled my ear lobes. I was rock hard by this time and she knew it, butshe kept teasing me and the first time her lips touched mine it was likethey were on fire.She started to move back down retracing her kisses over my nipples andstomach down to my groin where she also used her fingers drawing circleson my skin getting ever closer to my cock. I thought she was going touse her hands, but she just blew across the head and it felt likesomeone had plugged me into the mains. At last she took me into hermouth and used her tongue to get me even harder. Fireworks were goingoff in my head by this time and I was desperate to get some relief.I felt something cold, and I looked down to see Paula smearingsomething from the bottle she had brought with her all over my cock. Shehad straddled me on the bed and I could see reach behind her to put somearound her hole. She looked up to me and said, “I’ll be careful.”Right then I would have taken another broken leg as the price to get mycock inside her. She shrugged off her nightie and the sight of her nakedexcept for her panties sent my heart rate through the roof. She leantforward, gave me one finger to kiss and pushed it into my mouth. At thesame time she moved aside her panties and lowered herself onto my cock.I felt some resistance as the tip entered her and she grunted a little,moved up again, then down and I was suddenly inside her. She had tobalance herself to avoid falling on me but she began to move up and downon my cock. I felt like a steel rod inside her by this time and she wasgrunting as she rose and fell on my burning cock.I was on the brink for what seemed hours and then I came deep and hard,pouring my cum into her. I seemed to go on forever, and she kept movingeven when I had been pumped dry. She made a mewing sound, grunted andthen she climaxed too, her cum splashing onto my chest.Paula slowly rose up and with a plop I came out of her. She left me onthe bed as she went to the wet room to clean up and came back with awashcloth to do the same for me. She lay back down next to me and wekissed softly, both of us coming down slowly from the peaks we hadclimbed.She looked at me for a long time, eyes scanning my face, thinking aboutwhat she was going to say next. She reached out her fingers and strokedmy face, “Jeff, you know I love you don’t you?”Whoa, my world just shifted on its axis. What the hell should I say?”That’s lucky because I love you too.” A slow smile broke out on herface and she put her hands to my head and kissed me.I woke to the smell of coffee brewing again. I am going to invent analarm clock that wakes you up with the smell of coffee. It would make mea fortune. I expected Paul to bring the coffee, but Paula walked intothe room, put the cup on the bedside table and sat on the side of thebed.”Jeff.” She sounded worried, and I looked up anxiously at her. “Thisdating thing, I’m not sure about it.”My heart dropped. “Why?” I croaked. I think I also stopped breathing.She looked away and said, “Well, don’t you think we’re a bit past thedating stage after last night?”I could hear her giggling and I called her all the foulest names I couldthink of and a few more I made up.I said, “Well if that’s the case then why don’t you move inpermanently?”She turned to look at me and said, “Jeff, if you’ll have me I would loveto, but only on one condition.”“OK, what would that be?”She kissed me and said, “That you get rid of the motorbike, I never wantto think of you going through this again, or worse.”I pouted. “What? You want me to sell the bike? Are you serious? Do youknow what you’re asking?”“I mean it, Jeff. It’s me or the motorbike.” She looked on the point oftears.“OK, OK, if you put it that way,” I paused for a moment, and I could seethe anxiety in her eyes. “I guess I’ll have to sell the bike.”She squealed, then kissed and hugged me until my shoulder started toache. I thought that one day I would tell her that I had already sold itonline a week earlier. I had fallen out of love with it the day afterthe crash. I had a new love in my life instead.Later that day after we had made love a second time, I sent a text toLisa.Jeff ‘Got something to tell u’I had a response a few seconds later.Lisa ‘u dirty monkey. I knew it. XOXO’It was six months later and Paula and I were standing outside the localRegistrars. Three months earlier same-sex marriages had been made legalin the UK and we had just been married. Lisa and Paolo had been ourwitnesses and Lisa was blubbing, as was Paolo, come to that. Paula and Iwere heading off to Thailand on honeymoon the next day where she hadpromised to show me a very good time in Bangkok. I couldn’t wait.At the very end Lisa gave me a wedding card that read ‘Gross, now youhave to live with a boy’ on the front. Inside, she had written, ‘Toldyou so.’The end

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