The Foibles of Self-Pleasuring Ch. 01

Anal

I’m not sure what led to my first morning adventure that sunny day in May. Maybe it was that my job teaching at the University was done for the summer and I had time on my hands with the kids still in school. Maybe it was that I had just gone off the Pill, which I had always believed had an impact on my level of sexual desire. Whatever the case, I could not take my mind off of sex that morning after my husband left for work. I had a long list of household chores to take care of and had just taken the dog for a long walk to enjoy the morning sun.

I knew I should be folding laundry or paying bills or cleaning the kitchen or something practical, but instead I decided to pull out my book of erotic short stories from the back of my bedroom bookshelf and have a quick read to see where it led. The first story, while erotic, was only enough to increase but not satiate my desire. But I was having a hard time justifying wasting more of my precious child-free time reading dirty stories just to bring myself to orgasm.

And so came my brilliant idea. A shower. I would take a shower and try out the fancy shower head settings I keep meaning to try – to see if it’s really possible to have an orgasm aided by the pulsating stream of hot water carefully focused on my most ‘womanly’ parts. I was sweaty from my walk already, so I needed a shower anyhow. Why not kill two birds with one stone?

Always a practical person, I cleaned my body and my hair first before my ‘experiment’. Then I turned the dial on the shower head to check out my options. The water changed from its soft rain-like downpour to a strong and pulsating hard and heavy stream. That was the one I was after. I carefully positioned myself so that the vibrating bursts of water were massaging my clit. I was unimpressed. Not only was the stream of water not helping me get off, the rest escort bayan of my body, now untouched by the warm water, was getting quite chilly. I kept at it for a while, using my fingers to help out the water, but I was cold and the water pressure was strong enough that rather than encouraging ecstasy, I was approaching numbness.

OK, the book didn’t work and neither did the shower. Now, I was on a mission. Forget about the housework, I needed to have an orgasm. Was there something wrong with me that neither a well written erotic story nor a pulsating shower massage could successfully bring me to arousal?

Time to bring out the big guns. I dug out my vibrator from the depths of my night table drawer and sought out a more graphic (less literate) story. The dog was spread out on our bed, exhausted from our long walk, and I felt uncomfortable pleasuring myself in her company, so I retreated to the bathroom, which was still warm & humid from my lengthy shower. I put my bathrobe on, leaving it untied, and sat down on the toilet – the only seat available to me in the bathroom. I flipped through my book of short stories, looking for the graphic parts – skipping plot for now and seeking out keywords: “dick” “cunt” “hot” “wet” “cum”, etc.

Focusing on the prime paragraphs, those chock full of my keywords, I held the book with my left hand and the vibrator with my right. I started out lightly touching my clit with the vibrating stick, scanning the book for at least a full page or two of graphic sexual descriptions. I read and read some more, but couldn’t find anything that really did it for me. I dropped the book and used my left hand to massage my clit while I plunged the vibrator into my pussy. OK, I’ll admit, it felt good and I began to feel optimistic. I closed my eyes and leaned back, trying to make the toilet seat altıparmak escort bayan feel more comfortable than it really was. Then, the vibrator stopped vibrating. I sat up and opened my eyes. I banged on it with my free hand and it started up again, vibrating ever so slowly, then fast again, then slow, then not at all. I turned it off and on again.

Again, it vibrated slow, fast, slow, stopped. And then I could not get it to start again. The batteries had died on me before I had a chance to complete the act! “SHIT!” I exclaimed. If I was more religious, I would have thought that God didn’t want me to have an orgasm this morning. I tried using the vibrator as more of a dildo, massaging my clit and concentrating really hard on getting myself closer to the waves of pleasure I longed for. But the more I concentrated, the less successful I was. And besides, the toilet seat was really hard and uncomfortable. Not to mention I could hear the clock on the wall ticking, reminding me that I was clearly wasting my time here with all the other more important activities waiting for me on my “To Do” list.

I got up, tied my robe and headed out of the bathroom, thinking of all the things I had to get done before lunch time. ‘Alright, I give up’ I told my resistant body. I got dressed and headed downstairs to check my e-mail messages and make some progress on research I needed to complete for my job.

No messages. No ideas for the research. I glanced up at the clock. It was 11. I had a lunch date at noon. I was still mad at my body for not cooperating, especially when I was trying so darn hard. It was so unlike me to try to pleasure myself at all, even in bed at night. So to spend an hour of my morning working this hard at it was unbelievable to me. And to have failed! How frustrating!

OK nilüfer eskort – I had about 45 minutes before I had to leave. One more try, I figured. I hate starting things and not finishing them. In front of the computer, I found my favorite online erotic story site.

Now, I am a fairly traditional kind of gal (despite the story I am telling you now), so I really wanted to select and successfully pleasure myself with a traditional kind of story (husband and wife, true love forever, consensual, loving, sex stories). I looked at one story from this more conservative story category and was underwhelmed. I looked at another, and another. They were nice stories about people like me and my husband, in love, having explosive sex with each other, landing happily in each other arms and proclaiming their love for each other at the end. Why did this not do it for me?

I glanced again at the topics I had to choose from on the story web site. I grimaced and closed my eyes (so I could do what? Trick myself into not noticing my selection?) – and made my choice – S&M. Intriguing in a fantasy world, even if I couldn’t ever actually get that far in reality (and believe me, we had tried!).

I found a lovely story about a woman being pushed into pleasuring her master in all kinds of sexy and (what should be) distasteful ways. I should have been turned off, as in real life this did not appeal to me at all – but instead I found myself oddly aroused. As I continued to read, my left hand reached into my pants and under my panties to my (not wet enough) cunt. I rubbed myself faster and faster, rub-rub-page down, rub-rub-page down, glancing up at the clock now and again. Nothing like working against the clock. Then, during a particularly distasteful (or what really should have been distasteful) scene where three men were fucking this poor woman in all three orifices, I finally felt the waves of pleasure that had eluded me all morning. Thank goodness I don’t have to finish the story, I thought, as it was suddenly not nearly as arousing as it was a minute ago. I glanced up at the clock – I still had five minutes to dry my hair and get out the door.

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