The long road to black (Part 1)


The long road to black (Part 1)I guess if I look back I suppose I could say that it was pretty obvious that eventually I would submit to a black man, but there were times in my life that it was not obvious at all. Here is the first part to the journey, all true. Because this is true it may not have as many crazy scenarios as you hope, but I hope that it turns you on knowing that everything is true. Going to inner city schools I was exposed very early to very competitive, sometimes racist, and sometimes mean black guys. I was also exposed to some great interracial friendships as well, don’t get me wrong. But some of the competition made me forget my liberal and anti-racist upbringing and sometimes I would look at things from a racial point of view. The competitiveness of some black guys would make me want to compete likewise and this led in junior high and high school to sometimes fierce competition and even some racist thoughts. I think the competition was natural for young guys but it did seem to gravitate around race because we had different styles and cultures. It seemed like we would compete in sports, women, and generally who was cooler and more respected. This was all very stressful and unrewarding for me who was always a little shy and non-competitive. Every now and then I could out compete some black guys depending on the sport but it seemed like there was a pattern of getting dominated especially in the popular sports of basketball and football. Also when it came to women I felt like the black guys were winning. More of the sexiest white girls were sleeping with them then the other way around. There were also a decent amount of white guys with black girls but I never seemed to please black girls as well as I could attract them. In the end, it was hard to compete in who was cooler as well as it seemed that black music and dancing was dominate over rock, metal, and alternative. The main lesson of these years was not that black guys were better in everything, they were not and definitely there were instances of white guys being competitive. The main thing I think of though, when I think back to those times were of an overriding stress and unhappiness that comes from competing like an alpha-male and not succeeding. Another thing that made me stressed out was this racial competition that did not sit well with my deep down beliefs in racial equality. All of this made me really tired of the competition, really tired of trying to be an alpha male, and really tired of trying to prove that white guys were equal or better than black guys. This is not the main point of the story though, this is just to lay the psychological foundation of my mindset. Underlying all of this during the same time period was a persistent interest and obsession with pornography. Over time I could tell that I loved any story that had to do with taboo and power. Increasingly, I found that I was really drawn to the interracial stories where the black man was powerful and the white man or woman was submissive. I think it was cathartic and relaxing to fantasize about stopping the stressful and racist competition with black guys. All of this laid a foundation of being tired of trying to be an alpha male, increasing interest in interracial domination, and an increasing interest in sex as a place to act out forbidden fantasies. Then during college a work environment developed that was unbelievable when I think back on it. I still can’t believe what was happening there and I can’t believe it wasn’t obvious to me where it was going. When I went to work at a restaurant to be a fry cook, the manager warned me about “Darrel,” an older black man who was also a cook and who liked to “jokingly” smack guys asses. The manager told me that it is a little awkward but that he was just joking and if it bothered me to tell him to stop. bahis siteleri I just thought it was funny and didn’t think much of it. Now that I think back on it, “wow,” that would have been a lot of lawsuits if that were with women. That being said, as I was training I saw Darrel do it to a few other cooks and they would simple joke or do it back even harder. I had never been exposed to this type of ass slapping in sports or elsewhere so I was a little uncomfortable but I was certainly not going to complain about it or get anyone in trouble. Later after we had met and he was comfortable with me he began to start smacking my ass. As someone who is naturally shy, it was not really in my nature to loudly joke about it or to smack him back, or to tell him to stop. So instead I would just take it every time his big hand slapped my butt. Sometimes when I was focused on work I would jump a little and even gasp in surprise. I think this just egged him on and I became his favorite. As I look back on this I think, wow, that was some submissive behavior. I can’t believe I didn’t act on those tendencies earlier. I think he knew immediately that something was different with me, the fact that I didn’t loudly joke about it, or smack him back, or complain. He started to pay special attention to me, smacking me on the ass all the time, saying “good job” and even doubling it or tripling it up. I came to expect it like some fifties house wife. Secretly, I even began to like the attention. I felt like he was approving of me by slapping my ass, I felt like I must be doing a good job. I would feel a little buzz of satisfaction every time he did it. Soon I could tell that he was ordering me around more, making me do more of the prep, and making me do more of the “bitch” work in the back while he joked with the waitresses. His ass slapping was constant too, and I think other people were noticing. One of the other cooks told me “you know you can slap him back??” looking at me a little curiously. So I felt weird and would slap his ass back when other people were around but never when they weren’t. Looking back on this he probably could have done whatever he wanted if he tried as I was clearly enjoying his rough hands slapping my ass. I also had some “Darrel-fueled” fantasies where I would imagine being his live-in prison bitch. I also don’t think he was just joking, especially the way he became more aggressive with me. I probably would have sucked his dick in the prep room if he would have been insistent enough. It is strange when I think about how submissive I was to think that I kept up the alpha male thing for another 6 years or so. A note to black guys who like white sissies: you can probably find out by the “joking” ass slap who is a secret black cock sissy. If he doesn’t complain, doesn’t slap you back, and just takes it he would probably suck your cock with a pair of panties on!! (;I think my final illusion about being an alpha male was finally erased by the power dynamic between my ex-girlfriend and me. I began the relationship by still thinking that I would be the dominant partner, a manly man, or maybe I was just fooling myself. She was an extremely attractive blond with a perfect body and a real confidence and personality that everyone loved. She was extremely popular with both guys and girls and liked me a lot for some reason. Before we started dating she had made some comments about how she “used to like black guys.” This really scared me because I think I was scared that I couldn’t please her in the bedroom after that. Before we started dating I confessed to her that I wasn’t that good in bed and that I probably couldn’t compete with her ex-boyfriends who were athletes and black guys. She just looked at me and started laughing loudly. She said “I’ve never rode the chocolate stick!” in a canlı bahis joking way and starting cracking up. I started laughing too. She reassured me completely that she had been attracted to black guys but had never had sex with any. We then began to date and it went really well at first. We had some really good sex and I was so happy to be with her. I felt like she was way too good for me, and I felt blessed everyday to be with her. I think this led to me being really generous. I would massage her entire body every day for almost the first year of our relationship. I would worship every part of her as if to reaffirm my thankfulness for her love and acceptance. She became pretty accustomed to getting massages and began to become a little more demanding (which I loved). I also mastered the art of eating her pussy and would do it over and over until she would have repeated orgasms in my mouth. I felt so blessed and happy as her juices would flow all over my face. She slowly began to start controlling every aspect of my life, from my social life to my clothes and even my schedule. That actually and surprisingly to what you might be guessing was not the beginning of the end of our relationship. I actually felt more happy than ever. Her taste in clothes were better than mine. Her friends were much more fun and interesting than mine. Her schedule was much better than mine. In short, her control of my life was the best thing that ever happened to me. What began the downfall of the relationship is a few months of weak sex and my returning obsession with porn. Also, my inability to face my deepest and darkest desires. I began to watch porn again on a consistent basis. I found myself revisiting the sissy hypnos, the cuckold porn, and the interracial domination themes. While I was getting my rocks off with porn that demeaned and degraded me, it was getting harder and harder to please her in any real way. Interestingly enough, I never thought I could admit the submissive fantasies because of the homoerotic nature of them. But I do think that she would have been okay with them, if I had the courage to admit them because she was essentially dominating me anyways. Also, I had admitted to her that I had some gay sex before (although I didn’t mention the fact that I was the bottom wearing panties!!!) She basically already dominated my life. Only once did I have the courage to ask for dominant treatment and it was one of the most satisfying experiences of my life. It was after a night of partying where we had all ended up at my house. We were listening to music, joking, and dancing. Chris, an athletic and good looking black guy began to dance with her. For some reason, this act made all of those submissive thoughts and tendencies swim into my brain. She looked to be enjoying herself and even though the dancing was more joking than sexy, I began to feel a mix of shame that I didn’t do anything (although it seemed innocent enough), fear that I would lose her, and arousal of all those cuckold and interracial fantasies swimming back. My ex-girlfriend’s friend watched the dancing for a while and then looked me directly in the eyes as if saying “what are you going to do about this?” I felt my throat catch. It wasn’t dirty enough to make a scene and her enjoyment of it really made it hard to stop. She was laughing and twirling with him. Her friend just kept staring at me with a self-satisfied look. I felt this total embarrassment and submission but didn’t want to make a scene. I just looked at the ground, the shy submissive side taking over and shuffled back to my bedroom. I could feel her eyes on me and I thought to myself “why am I such a pussy?” Mixed with the shame and jealously though was an underlying arousal, after all this had been my fantasy for years. I went back and laid on the bed in defeat, allowing güvenilir bahis whatever was going to happen to happen, like a true cuckold white boy. The music kept playing and I kept hearing laughter as I laid on my bed in a state of total shame and arousal. She came to bed with me after about a half hour giggling and snuggled up to me. I stayed silent with a mixture of terror, shame, and total arousal. It turns out that nothing happened but the way that I meekly submitted to Chris’s pre-eminence over my girlfriend was a turning point. The illusion of being an alpha male was destroyed. I could not sleep that well that night, imagining over and over the dancing, laughing, and her friends eyes on me as I meekly slinked back to my bedroom. In the morning I told her that I wanted to eat her out. She looked at me and lazily opened her beautiful tanned and shaved legs revealingly her beautiful satin blue panties. She barely even paid attention to me, probably so used to be served on a daily basis. But today I wanted something different, I needed something more blatantly dominant. I asked her to sit on my face. She looked at me strangely. I then asked her again to sit on my face more pleadingly. She asked me why. I said “I just need it baby” in a meek and higher voice than usual. I noticed I was talking to her more meekly than I usually did. She looked at me a little condescendingly and slowly got on to her knees. She then straddled my face so I was looking up at her in adoration. She looked like a goddess. Perfectly tanned with beautiful satin panties, a perfectly flat and tan stomach, a beautiful belly piercing, and perfect tits above that. She looked down on me a little more condescending than before. I felt my heart race and flutter in excitement. I got the courage to ask for what I had never asked for before. I looked up at her and said “I need you to dominate me baby.” “I need you to be a bitch.” She looked down at me and said “oh I can be a bitch, is that what you want??!”I felt embarrassed but said “yes.” She pulled panties to the side revealing the folds of her perfect pink pussy and proceeded to lower onto my face and rub it up and down my face. I started to eagerly shove my tongue into her, I was nearly bursting with excitement. She slid her pussy up around my nose and grinded down on my face. “Oh I can be a bitch!!” She began to put more weight on me and sat on my mouth while I eagerly worshipped every part of her. “Be careful what you wish for, I can be a real BITCH!! Faster! lick me harder!” She was beginning to shout at me. I was worried my roommate would hear here demeaning me. I was starting to wonder if she had done this before because of she seemed like a natural. “Lick me faster!!” “Lick it harder!” It was a little tiring and painful for my poor tongue but I kept it up as fast as I can. This felt so right, so natural. “You better do it right or I’ll get someone else in here.” “Holy shit” I thought. “She has got to be talking about Chris.” He was just dancing with her last night. “I’ll get someone else in here who can really please me! You better lick it harder!” I couldn’t imagine what my roommate was thinking if he heard this! My cock was so hard and about to burst. My tongue was exhausted but I was rubbing her clit as fast and hard as I could. After what seemed like an eternity underneath her I felt her legs tense up as she came all over my face. Her juices were dripping all over me, down around my neck, into my hair, everything. I thankfully and worshipfully licked and licked and licked. She rubbed her juicy pussy all over my face as if to mark her territory. She rolled off. I was panting in arousal. She went to the bathroom to clean up without even touching my dick. I felt like we had turned a corner. I was so aroused and terrified. I had just revealed my deep dark desires to be submissive. This is just after the night she had danced with an extremely attractive black guy while I had slinked off to bed. I was so scared and so aroused….Where was this going to lead??(To be continued….)

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