Recent history and old talesWith some of the things I’ve posted I’ve chatted with a few likeminded sissies and TS; we all share a lot of the same likes and dislikes in sex. We all seemed to start young, some even as young as ten, we all seemed to ease into it then suddenly go out of control so to speak. When I post some things it stirs up more thoughts and memories, starts me thinking back.My mom helped me in some things without even knowing it or, she was subtly helping me because she knew/suspected something. I mean she did almost know exactly the date that I lost my virginity, she knew when the black boy fucked me the first time, she knew that Ron and I were lovers before we did. This all came out later in life.She knew when my uncle had sex with me the first time and talked to him after the second time. She told him that she knew what was going on but also knew that I was being a slut. She knew how big he was just asked him to be careful; she didn’t want me to be hurt during sex. I do remember her being extra attentive almost every time I was out somewhere with him. At the time I didn’t think anyone knew or even suspected; my mother knew.She could almost give you the date of my first little gang bang. She remembers it because she sensed that I was a little ‘upset’ about something when Ron and I started out. I was…I was nervous as hell and a little scared. In about eight hours I’d be with Ron and three other guys; I was going to be gang banged over the weekend and, my first time with an audience. Since we were camping I was liable to get it any time that someone felt horny. Yes, a little nervous but excited as hell. She knew when my cousin started fucking me one summer. It was in my bed and we thought we were being so quiet about it. Imagine your mother telling you that she’d heard some coughing (a blow job about half an hour before the fucking) a little later; muffled moaning and the bed creaking as he mounted me then, a little later, my muffled squeals and his moans when he came in me. She figured that the first night it would probably just be the blow job…she about shit when the other noises started. I asked her why she didn’t stop it or say something; she said that at least one of us was getting a good fucking that night. She listened, rolled over and rode her fingers for a while. “Besides…he didn’t last long enough, the first time. A little ten minute fucking at thirteen, you were very well broken in by then.” I was okay the next morning, she knew that I’d taken his morning wood too. She knew what I was and didn’t worry about anything but me being hurt and, I wasn’t going to get pregnant. She knew when the one pastor’s son started to fuck me and she knew how long it went on. She also somehow knew that Ron was jealous over that. There were maybe two months when things were rocky between me and Ron because of that. She also somehow knew that there had been argument between us one night that resulted in me getting a lecture followed by a very hard spanking. She thought I’d been spanked three times while that was going on…I remember four.Ron was also the first guy to kiss me; it was shortly after we started to have real sex…cock in my cunt sex. He’d been fucking me one night, he kissed my neck (after giving me a sucker bite) then he kissed my cheek and brushed his lips across mine. That was like an electric shock and sent a warm feeling through my body. When he went to kiss me again; I went for his lips and got a nice little kiss. We tried a few more times and got better at it – a lot better! By the time that fuck was over we’d been kissing a lot, figured out what to do with our noses and, he showed me how to French kiss. That really got me hotter than hell! When he coupled petting and kissing – I wanted fucked and I wanted it bad! My father was straight and strict; we both received our share of discipline and, sometimes it was needed. I remember a few times that neither of us could sit comfortably for a few days, those walks – coming back from the barn after – seemed very long when your ass is on fire. Most of my punishment was because of slutting around; all it took was a rumor and I’d end up in the barn for a while. There were a few rumors that weren’t true, no matter how much I pleaded with him I was punished anyway. My father was trying to beat me straight but my slut switch was stuck ‘On’. As long as I can remember, he’d have an erection while he was punishing me. Even during the first few spankings I knew that I was lying on his cock and it güvenilir bahis was hard…rock hard. She was well aware of it because she knew that he was primed and, in a little while, she’d be getting a good hard fuck. She was also of the same mind that dad should have taken out some of his frustration in a sexual way with me. Less beating and more fucking/sucking. She figured I should have tried to seduce him, especially after the first paddling. “The worst thing that could happen was going to anyway, you were going to get your ass paddled. I would have at least tried; a good blow job would have calmed him right down.” After a short pause, “You were f******n then; none of us would say anything about it anyway. You were experienced enough, hell you handled your uncle’s cock before that. You wouldn’t have had any problem handling your father my dear.”My uncle…For a long time I wondered how my one uncle decided to try and hit on me the first time. After a while the answer was simple. My mother said that she overheard a phone conversation one day; she thought it was between dad and the uncle. She missed a lot but perked-up when she heard something about a ‘sissy’. I was the topic and my father was complaining that, like a daughter that was slutting around, I couldn’t keep my damned legs together when a boy was around. He went on to explain that even whipping my little ass didn’t work. As soon as I could, I’d be on my back again.No one knew that my uncle was that way or, maybe he wasn’t and just wanted to bang cute little me. Whatever it was, for whatever reason, that conversation got me my first adult cock ever. Nine inches of thick hard adult meat…it left me in pain, I cried through some of it but I was also proud of taking it. It was worse than losing my virginity the first time, a lot worse. Skinny little twelve year old me was sore for days after but, he loved the blow job. For about two years he fucked me every chance we had; once I got used to it I loved it. Throwing away the bloody (not much) cum soaked underpants didn’t do any good. She knew what he had in mind; finding the underpants was the proof. As an ex-nurse she inspected me right after she found them. I was on the toilet letting some of his load out. When she found out that my rectum was gaping she also found the cum. She didn’t say anything when I told her that I’d been constipated and just had a very big BM. Other than that I wasn’t hurt; the bleeding had stopped and I was tightening back up. She checked me a few more times to make sure. Even admitting that, the one time (the time I almost came) she wasn’t inspecting anything. She was finger fucking me gently and messaging my little prostate. She only stopped when my sister had to use the bathroom; admitting that, had it not been for Karen, she would have loved to finish the job. Also admitting that she wouldn’t have wasted the cum.There was a problem getting her mind around his cock size and my little rectum; let alone that I enjoyed taking it for him. That’s why he took it slow and easy…that’s why I cried. I wasn’t built for something that size yet but, I managed to take it.She knew that when Ron and I went ‘out’ it was for sex and I was the girl; she always knew that. That’s why she taught me ‘girly’ things when she had the chance. Something else strange; that I’ve shared with a few friends is, over a period of ten to twelve years, I had what was almost a monthly ‘period’. The discharge just started one day out of the blue, made a mess in my panties, got heavier for a few days then tapered off and stopped. After the second month I saw a doctor; I had no idea what was going on. He waited until it started again and did a very thorough examination along with a bunch of tests. Everything was normal. My temperature would rise a little, I’d have a bloody discharge, I was hornier than normal and I’d go through a week of PMS after. I’ve talked to one other sissy/slut that went through the same thing for a while. Same result with the doctors…nothing and no reason. We were both told the same thing; She met a few of the guy in my longer term relationships and, she knew that I loved big black cocks. She met Jack after we’d been dating for a while and thought he was a good catch. I’d explained to her how we’d met and we’d talked about our first few dates. Jack was extra attentive that night. Over dinner she made a point of telling him, “This one’s a handful at times just be patient…every once in a while a good spanking does a lot of good.”He didn’t türkçe bahis need any encouragement at all there. I don’t know which part of that made me blush more. She didn’t realize that I’d already not only had a few spankings but had recently been given a paddling. Jack was correcting some of my wicked ways because he knew that it worked. She knew that sex wasn’t a problem with us.She also knew that Jack was taking pretty good care of her ‘oldest daughter’ in the clothes department too. I’d shown her some of the things. Especially the lingerie and a few dresses when I modeled them for her. She couldn’t believe a guy who got all excited about garter belts and stockings.We compared notes on the one neighbor who had been fucking us both. Mom didn’t realize that I knew about him. I had to explain that I’d come home early one day from school and saw his car parked behind the barn. I sneaked into the basement and got an earful through the furnace pipes. I had to admit that we sounded about the same during sex; once we got going. She got it in the house; I got it in his barn or the back seat of his car. Sex was sex no matter where it happened.He had to use a condom with her; he did me bareback and loved it.She wanted details on my ‘Sweet Sixteen’ gang bang so we shared a few things about that. She knew some that were there but not everyone. I admitted that I didn’t know how many were there but; I remembered something like f******n at one time. I didn’t know how many times I was bred but suspected it was something like thirty, maybe more. It did go on for most of the night and part of the next day. She knew that I was out of it for a few days but didn’t realize that I had continuing bouts of bad cramps for a while. That and diarrhea that kept me close to a toilet. I had a bellyful of cum and my cunt had been fucked-out that time. I also told her that I’d been hiding in the spot of mine in the barn and witnessed her getting a pretty hard paddling one time. She had a feeling that someone was watching but had other things on her mind as she waited for my father and the paddle. I figured it out when she reached up under her dress and took her panties off…just before my dad arrived.I watched her bend over a few bales of hay, watched dad pull her dress up then, watched the lecture and the paddling. She was given twenty good hard whacks that covered her backside before it was over. I watched it and cringed while being scared/aroused and thankful it wasn’t me. He left right away; she only got as far as on her knees for a while but did try to stand up a few times. Her ass was a mass of bruises and welts; when she tried to stand she was shaking so bad her knees wouldn’t support her for a while. I jacked off like crazy for a while. She used her panties (like I did a few times) to blow her nose and wipe away some tears. Mom was as good at doing the ‘robot walk’ as I was.She said that there was one bad bruise, right where she sat. It was over a week before she could sit down without that being a reminder of the punishment. She did make dinner and sat with us to eat that night. I couldn’t believe that she could even sit! She assured me that, every time she moved – even a little – it hurt like hell. What I didn’t know was; on the next Tuesday, when we were in school, she was given a reminder. That explained one time that we came home to find her flushed, all messed up and still crying a little. She thought it had been about ten whacks, maybe a little more. She never did enjoy sodomy and, couldn’t quite ever understand how I could take it so well. There was damned sure no understanding of how I could take some of the big black cocks I did. Again, she knew about the original dog but, never said anything about it to anyone. She was shocked to know that she’d almost caught me in the act one day.We were in the barn but down on the lower level. She had taken my sister into town and returned something like three hours earlier than anyone thought. I had really freaked out when the car pulled in; he’d bred me but we were still tied tighter than hell. She went to the house then came back out looking for me and, she did look in the upper part of the barn. While she was there he went off to one side and turned around so we were butt to butt. That move is very, very painful! All I could do was bite down on my shirt and put my hands over my mouth to quiet my squeals of pain. I had to explain to her that, just like a bitch in heat, once his knot swells up, you don’t go anywhere until it güvenilir bahis siteleri goes back down. That day it had taken me about an hour to get myself together, stop shaking like hell all over, relax a little – while his cum was running out of me – then, make my way to the house to see what she wanted. The actual breeding, from penetration to his pull-out, had taken almost an hour and a half! I was useless for the rest of the day.She did know that I pleasured myself a lot; I was always horny for cock and seemed to think about it all of the time. I ate a lot of my cum but also caught it in whatever was available; bed sheet, pillowcase, my underpants and socks. Sometimes there was no planning and it wound up just caught in my pajama bottoms, I’d lay there and just shoot the load inside then sleep in them. She washed my things and never said a word about it…until our talks about the past.It was good training for the future – walking around or sleeping in cum soaked panties. She did know that I’d been slutting around in the Virgin Islands for 4 years; she didn’t know that I was turning tricks there. Mom damned sure didn’t know that I was (when working with the one madam) taking some pretty hard tricks. I didn’t tell her everything but; I told her some and what it was like. There was a demand for someone like me and I arrived just in time. Cute, white, young and willing; by today’s standards, not a lot of money. In the early 70’s I was making a decent living…she understood that alright. Between that and the stipend from Roger; I was doing ok for someone who only worked at night and only for (most of the time) four to six hours. I had my girlfriends who had helped with that or; it would have been rougher to get started in the ‘trade’. We all need friends at times. In the end all of us ‘sissies’ ‘sluts’ all started about the same. It seems that most of us were pretty young the first time. Many of us started by pleasuring a friend or an older guy, sometimes an adult. Most of us started by giving a hand job then quickly graduated to sucking and swallowing. My first time, it happened so fast that my mouth was full of cum and I just swallowed what I could. I did choke, I did gag some and was wearing some when it was over. When most of us lost our virginity, it was painful (at least the first few times) and we cried. I know that I cried for two reasons; it was painful and, with my fucked-up emotions, I was consumed with some monumental feelings of joy. Ron was there to hold me and give me some time to calm down…before he mounted me again.We have gone on sexual ‘binges’ at times. There’s just a feeling that you want to suck and get fucked until you can’t take anymore. I don’t remember ever being at that point; there was always one more cock. My binges were over a period of about 15 years and I was such a damned slut that I loved myself. Most of us have used toys in the absence of a real cock and still do. Some of us have used anything we could get our hands on when in the mood! I know I have. Most of us like bigger cocks and I’d say that 99% love black cocks – big, long and thick. We love the way a black top fucks you, makes love to you and treats you. I had my first black cock when I was very young and simply fell in love with it! Many of us fell in love with the first guy we had sex with; with me it was my first real boyfriend, Ron. I’m pretty sure it was at least close to love but; that first kiss (from him) sealed the deal for me! That kiss meant – to me – that he was treating me like a girl and I responded like a girl! For some of us there was a family member involved. An older brother, father, uncle or cousin. I had an older cousin who fucked me for a few summers and I loved it. Once my uncle took me the first few times; I had a hopeless – mindless crush on him! This was a guy who it really hurt to have sex with but; I had the feeling that I just had to satisfy him. He was loving and caring but also strict with me. I guess that’s the pattern for me…loved and punished? It was so bad (especially at my young age) that I started to hate my aunt for having him all of the time. I remember the feelings and I was jealous as hell of her. Some of us have had feelings that we would have loved to be able to get pregnant…I’m one of them. I don’t remember exactly when it started but there were times that – if I felt enough for the guy – I would have given anything to have his baby. Jack was the one I had the strongest feeling with over this desire. It consumed me once in a while. It wasn’t a matter of adoption – it was ME getting pregnant, carrying the baby to term then, giving birth to HIS baby. Jack would have been a good father, I would have (probably) been a good mother; my mother agreed on this.