Being recently divorced from the only woman who I had ever had sex with, my confidence was shot, while my desire to finally explore this crazy sexual world was just starting. I didn’t know where to begin. And I struggled with meeting women and turning that into sexual encounters that I craved at the time.

So I turned on line to find success. I had a few meaningless encounters. Decent sex, yes, and eye opening as a man who had been with a total of one person previously. I was intent to sew my wild oats, even if slightly out of order from how most do it. And the occasional hook up was temporarily satisfying but ultimately empty calories. Until I stumbled upon her.

I was slowly gaining some confidence about my sexuality but still was green in that department. Yes, I had sex with my ex plenty, but looking back on it, it was average, vanilla, nothing to write home about. But one doesn’t know this until they see the light. I was getting just faint glimpses of it by sleeping around here and there, but for the most part, it just made me hungrier, and I was no cook.

We started with on line flirting and sexual buildup. She lived an hour away, she was looking for a guy while her man was in another country for many months. She said he was aware of her appetite, and made clear when he came back, whoever she was with at the time would need to be gone. Understood.

I realized pretty quickly she was way over my head. The way she teased and talked and dared and danced visions in my head. She oozed sexuality. Never been around a woman before or since that you could just feel the immediacy and intimacy of her needs.

It took a lot of convincing and talking at a fake it to you make it level Etimesgut Escort to set up a meeting. I was making bold boasts with little to nothing to back it up. But I had to take control, she demanded it. I gave her instructions on how I wanted it to go down, and she agreed. Remember that I had never done anything remotely like this in my life.

As I am driving down to see her I was absolutely dizzy. I was so far over my head, I was insanely excited. My dick was hard for every minute of that drive. I entered her apartment and quietly took off all my clothes at the entrance. I slowly walked down the hallway, absolutely petrified and intoxicated.

As soon as I peered around the corner, my senses were overwhelmed. Her tight ass was facing the door as instructed, on all fours, expectant. As promised “woman” was tattooed on her left cheek. She was moaning, low and slow, in the most primal tone I have ever heard from a living creature. Although she heard me coming to be with her, she never once turned around to see me.

I immediately ran my fingers all over her body then pulled her hair so her head yanked back and I could stare her in the eyes for the first time ever. She didn’t have the eyes of a human, more like a feral animal. It terrified and thrilled me. I pushed her head to the bed and proceeded.

I ate her out from behind until she came in a shuddering storm, then I fucked her from behind. As she could sense I was building up to explode, she said in a clear voice, the first words she ever spoke to me. “Come inside me, I need to feel you drip down my leg all day”. Bang! Best orgasm of my life up till then. I am not ashamed Etlik Escort to admit I didn’t last long that first time.

She didn’t move from all fours, as I slid out and got up to leave. She never turned around while saying, “next time you are here, it’s in my throat”. My head was just swimming, the physical and mental euphoria was off the charts. I went to the bathroom to clean up, and offered a towel. She has flipped over on her back and had her eyes closed. “No, I want to enjoy it.”

I left, no further words, no way to comprehend what just happened. I had been used and I was also a user. I felt insanely powerful and totally powerless. The hooks were being set.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it for weeks. She was average looking, not the body type I go for (she was very short and slight), and in general someone who I would never see myself with sexually. But the sexual magnetism that poured off of her and the level of her game was just transcendent.

The next time I saw her, I was just as excited and nervous. But it immediately took a different tone and an actual intimacy of connection. She communicated directly what she needed. Within a minute of me showing up. “You need to be my master”. I didn’t know shit about this. “I can teach you what you need to know.”

And she did. Over the next 8 months, she taught me. She said later that saw me as moldable, someone who had a lot to learn and wanted to learn and could fit a need. I became more dominant, and she in turn became more submissive. She taught me and my desire to please led me to research on line. The sexual adventures were mind blowing.

She taught me how to take Eve Gelen Escort her to subspace, which is what she really needed. I did things to her that I could never do to another human being. And as someone who had previously no idea about it, I never would have even believed it existed. But I gave her what she needed. And she did the same for me.

I grew as a sexual being. She was my teacher. I learned she was a dominatrix for a handful of years, and she always jokingly tried to convince me that I would like to be pegged by her (never, no thanks). She had obviously been with many, and it showed.

Her knowledge and experience of power dynamics was amazing. She taught me so much on how to both be in control and totally let go all at once. She facilitated my first and only threesome with a female friend of hers. She taught me positions and timing and angles and words and psychology and … then it was over.

Just like that, one day, after letting me cum on her face “I want to feel your power”, after a shower she walks into the room and says it’s time. I know what it means. We don’t have to say anything else. There is no kissing (never was). There is no long goodbye. There is no, until next time. That’s it.

She got dressed, and said “goodbye master” without ever turning around. And that was the last time I would see her. I spoke with her a few years after, to get her sexual advice in a relationship. Then that was permanently it.

I think about her often. I connected with her in a way that was so profoundly different, I haven’t tried to replicate it. I am thankful for everything she taught me, and the women I have been with since her have all benefited.

I can turn on the dominance when needed, and I am sexually confident now. Have been since my time with her. I miss her. Not in a raw pure sexual way, but in a primal connection that sits right next to sexuality. I am in a good place with who I have become and she had a large part of that.

Wherever she may be, this is dedicated to her.