Thine Own TattooThine Own TattooA Collection of Written Thoughtby Hugo Carlos ArreolaCopyright 2018——Thine Own Tattoo(fictional, sequel to my novella, ‘walking with scars’)…and then, it happenedLucy woke up on Mondayafter the night she had had celebrating the new yearshe should have been hungover andgenerally feeling shitty all overbutfor whateverthegodfuck reasonshe felt finein factLucy, felt insanely wellas though on a cloud somewhere between eight and tenshe might as well been on meth or some other nonsense butshewas notshe simply, felt greatgood thing as she was scheduled for work todayof all daysshe was a trauma surgeon working at the same hospital as her mother, a nurse -the emergency department her mother was found dead many yearsearlier under suspicious circumstances the death was ruledan accident though it appeared to be a suicide it did have the underpinnings of ahomicidethe case was never solvedunfortunate she had plenty of timeand was feeling no pressurewhatsoever …and then, it happened Lucy got out of the shower and whilebrushing thosenear perfect teethshe was proud of thema perfectionist as was her mothershe then, looked down and noticed ita tattoofuck meshe thought she began to panic ape shit nearlywhat, the fuck elsedid she get up to last night she simply could notremember as though a certain darkness clouded her memory nothing Lucy could remember nothing she collected herself no big deal she thoughtthe tattoo itself was strangefor sureno doubtit was thereyetshe, felt no pain or sorenessabove her right kneeits location she stood there looking at itnakedit was a line of textit was upside down as though it was meant soshecould easily read it whensittingit read, simplyplain as day’your father was a r****t’ whatthefuckshe never met her father he toowas found dead many years agothat, for surewas homicidetwo bulletsher father was never discussedgood or badshe only knew she had a father growing upfor whatever reason she was never curiousLucy was a c***dloved by allshe grew up happy and worry-freetodayshe felt something newanxietywhatthefuckher focus, had always been schoolshe was atypically smarthigh functioning though by no means autisticshe was simplydrivennowthrown sidewayscompletelyoff her axisfurthermore moreover the tattoo did not seem to be inkfor a brief moment solaceshe figured it was somesick disgusting jokeelation then aftera frantic thirty minutes trying everythingshe could musterthe tattoo was there to stayfuck meshe thought, again she looked up at the clockfuckshe was going to be late for worknot a per usualthat entire daywhile at workshe was somehow justsomewhat off her gameshe called her grandmother to simply say helloa subconscious cry for helpLucy had always been strongshe naturally told her grannynothing in denial, obviously she thought of having it professionally removedbutshewas focused on her reputation worried about what othersmay say do or even think of hershe decided to put it aside in hermindit was justa tattoo who would knowshe was singleand was sure she’d figure something outeverythingwould be okay blankets and cakeblankets and cake, she told herself…and then, it happenedthe following dayfeeling restedrefreshedready to tackle the daythe tattoo was already a distant memory before getting in the showeras she sat on the toilet she looked downand there it wasanother tattoolocated on her other legexactly opposite her first tattoo it read’your mother was a r****t’she read itstruck numbLucy hurled vomit all over herselfwithout warningwas she losing her mind?she thought to herself what the fuck is going onshe said out loud with vomit stillin her mouthshe vomited againshe was frozen in placeLucy dry heaved for a further minuteshe called in sickinforming the head of departmenttaking a few personal daysthe boss was not pleasedLucy did not give a flying tossshe cleaned her bathroomit was immaculate by the late morningLucy spent the remainder of the daysitting on her bedstaring at the wallin deep thoughtfulnessshe had her phone turned offshe did not move, eat or drink anything silence…and then, it happenedLucy awoke the following morningthird day of the new year Wednesdayin a near stuporon autopilot she knew she was staying homethe usual morning stuffshower, brushing of perfect teethetcLucy made herself breakfast sat on the couchgrabbed the clicker turned on the newsshe looked down at her right handas she put the clicker downthere it fucking wasanother tattooshe was still struck somewhat dumb numb from the previous dayshe read the third tattoo it read’your grandmother killed bothyour mother and father’a revelationher mind was suddenly sucked down a deep dark tunnel of painand truthsuddenlyabruptlyher entire life made senseLucysuddenly knew everything güvenilir canlı bahis siteleri and nothing at the same time she understood truthin her painshe saw the world differentlyLucy had a clarity of mindshe was among the blinding lightat the other end of darknessshe looked upwhat she saw on the newsit was so incredibleit made sense to her right awayapparently people all over the worldwere experiencing the same phenomenathe tattoos kept appearing all over the bodyas though it weresome sort of reckoningthe wrongdoings of past generationsand those of the individualsimply kept appearing day after daysoonnobody not a single personcould hidewho and what they areit was literally written all over their faceevery person on earthwas human, the same—something from nothingyou knowit’s bothersomehowdimwitted most people are these daysthinking believing anything everythingthey see are told and readwithout any question thoughtor even the slightest attemptat the good ole cognitive processwe, given such a giftthisthingthisconsciousnessthis self awarenessand yet it’s squandered on a basis the dailytaken for granteddon’t be stupid, readeri’m not here to even try convincing youdumbasssimply trying to provoke thoughtand whatnotyou’re not obligated to follow mei have zero answers for anyonegranny via father, gave us the onlyanswers we’ll ever needyet, they were ignoredand so here we all areto the point of my blurbha haI digress, aptlyelectric vehicleswe’re saved you saythey’re the the answer you thinkfurthermore moreoverthey’re green energy you sayflat wrong, sorrypass go on the gaming boardyou fucking idiotyou cannotget something from nothingno matter how friendly green you areyou’re still r****g the planet, fuckerooh awe, feels so godfucking goodto be green you say to no one the particularthere’s nothing better, am I right!ha ha lol and all thatyou cannot get somethingfrom nothingstillyou, must pay said electric billvast majority of said energycreatedto charge up your beautifulgreen battery – soon to be wasteis producedbyyeah you guessed correctlyfossil fuelswinner, winner, winnerand what prize do we have for our beautifulgreen contestant, johnny?well, bob i’m so glad you mentioned itwe have a beautiful new…wake up dumbassyou’re fuckedfeeling, illuminated?scratch your head somesit in your cavethink for a momentor many…i know you canha haat least, that is the hope—-delusional dreamingthey say a king had dreamyou know whatdreamsare never ever realone may derive a good ideafrom said dreambut, sorry kingkeep dreaming the delusion that lifewill ever be as you want it to behow about thisdeal with things as they arelet go of attempt to instill hope into hearts minds ofthe mindless massesreality is painone can dream and hope untilthe end of time andstillget absolutely nowhere the only thing to do is acttaking action to deal with thingsas they areor one can simply keep on dreaming hoping praying dreaming as a king once saiddo thatand no doubt one will remain in a state ofinaction and slaverya king had a dreamit’s time to wake the fuck upfrom said dreamslaveone must take actiondreaming hoping praying meansunfortunately no rise over runno deltadeathwake up lemming dothis is your painthis is your lifethis is reali’m the lightthe ember within the darknessembrace painembrace darknessembrace truthembrace yourself+++Americuntswe the peopleslavesamerica hasbecome exactly what we thought wasonce defeated news flash, idiotyou cannot defeatthis enemy the darkness is immortal as is the light an orange potusan empty suitstands before usone thing seemingly missing a mustache perhaps you knowhitler had a mustache he was right about one thing religion brings weakness leadingto slavery of the mindhowever moreover and buthe thought himself as special as other as, above everyone else i spit on himGod laughs at the idiot fuckerpoor adolfa delusional megalomaniac who thought the revolution was about himhis colorhis raceme me me, was all he thought on a basis the daily i believe he saw his errorin judgement at the exact moment hetook his own lifehe felt God in that moment the painthen nothing you know the nazi partygave those whom they felt as inferior a number stupid people todaymeine fellow americans accept what they seewhat they are toldwhat they are givenexpecting to be savedsomehow everything will be okay they say to self blankets and cakeyou know what every american today also has a number social security taxpayer idcall it whateverthegodfuck you want slavewehave become what was thought to be defeated faith, lostwe, the people hold the powerriserise,if we wanted it badly enough wecouldend the great experiment these, divided states of america and begin anewas the voice of GodI disclose güvenilir illegal bahis siteleri the following nobody is coming to save youthere are billions of uson this planetthere are so few of them they call them what you wishthe empty suits with all the perceived powerthey are scaredthey, are weakwe, are strong ‘BIG fucks small every time’ these daysthe moment we the people realize we hold all the cardswe, are the actual bigthey, are the actual smallcheckmate=+=IQso i heardthe funniest thing some stupid young girl on television saynot an exact quote mind youthough, imo might as well be….uh yeah so like i have an IQ almost as high as Albert Einsteini nearly coughed up a lung laughing you can be the fucking smartest personon earthandstillbe dumb as dirti ask the following girl,whatareyou going to do with all them smarts n ‘shitmost probably nothingeither cure the incurable diseases invent cold fusion, free energyfor allend world hunger by yourself otherwise moreoveretcshut the fuck upaction, is the onlything to do everything else ismeaningless—huh!the duality dichotomy that is our liveslovehatepeacewarandevery fuckingshaded gradient in betweeni understand it alli know everything and nothing in singularity yet am not able toexplain or even convince another of such a thing nor do i fucking want toi am who i saywhat isisThere is only ONEGodandit is not meGod is Painif you feel itthen soyou are, alivenone of usare even really here not exactly anywaythis has all…out there among this reality is an entire planet made of diamond everything is possible though not always probable —-quick ladyballsfor the stupidsome complex thoughtssome simple bitstranslatedthere are only two possible sexesin this shitpilethe masculine andthe feminineno másno moresureshaded gradients aplenty^^^^^^cancer is simply an extension of humanity unchecked growth humanity is a biological weapon in and of itselfcancer is the natural courseof evolution humanity itself a viral contagion attacking an enemy it cannot hope defeating the planetand so a message to the person unknown who may read this in searchsearching…are you this person with a greaterbook intelligence than mei have an idea to sharewhat if the key a cure for cancer and the other many incurables is to simply find a way to turn off the genetic switchremember, there is no boxstem cells switched off at the proper timewould mean a great deal to manyare you out theretake my idearun with ittake action+++===virgin girl self-helpgirls of any age can bring themselves pleasure withoutthe need or help of a manit is never wrong to touch your own bodyat the top of your vagina there is a small bumpthis is your clitorisrub thislong and hard enough and you may bring yourself to orgasmafterwards, you may notice you are sorethis is completely normal and naturalbe warned, once you do thisyour brain will be forever changedthis cannot be undone===Random sane thoughts for the insaneon the problem of global overpopulationyeah, we’re fuckedtoo many idiot baby factoriesby stupid, i mean -sure we all know we can make babies no one in their wrong small mind will ever askif, we should?said small mind is ‘in the shit’ and sosimply, cannot – ask…waiting to be savedlolideally, old women ought to be teaching young boysabout the art of loveby fucking them day and nightmoreover,old wealthy men ought to be given the rightto fuck all the young girlsas they can afford to raise offspringthis is the idealconversely, as far from what, ishence therefore we have our current realitya bunch of idiots breeding little idiotswe have humanitya blight on a marblesix billion people, trying eachhis her they fucking bestto have it allside note,a toll must be paidin bloodthe earth must be fedunfortunately, due to stupidity and religionwe’ll fuck that up as wellvast majority believe in burialand zoompoof, off to that better placefucking hilariousonce dead we must return to the earthto our origininstead of giving the earth itsnutrientswe only take from itencasing ourselves in little boxesand so sickness ariseshowever, this is only a slight digressiondelaying our return to said originis just thata delaydecomposition of metal takes a long timein the endnaturallywe’re all fuckedwe all diefrom death, comes lifepressure & timefull circleoh wellwe reap…imbalance aplenty—-America,home of the slavecurrent size,of contagionthree hundred plus millionbelieving ourselves to be great,it is just not sowe are a collective of consumersin debt and delusionalchina owns most of itoh we’re living the dreamfreedom etc and whatnot dreams are never ever realgiven a number at birthfor our securitybullshitour lives regulated rules a plentyfighting over scrapswe want to believein near sickly desperationwe güvenilir bahis şirketleri are earning a wagewhen in fact we are nothing more than law abiding god fearing whore slaveswaiting…sleepinghumanity is acancer growing on a beautiful marbleunchecked growthhey idiottalking to younobody is coming to save youAmerica,home of the slaveit matters not your colorcollectively workingtogether to serve our massathe illusory machinebased on idiot rules and regulationsyou can make a living this waybut not that wayall based on the moronic notionthat there is a certain meaningtoitall….nopesorry, try againoops – lol – jokes on you lemonadelife has no reset buttonhilarious, eh?cough coughclear the throata secret,money is paperit is irrelevant======According to scienceout there among the stars,everything we think we know,everything we are able to see, measure and weighall visual sign, light etcaccounts for only three percent of everything out therewhat cannot not be seen, weighed or measuredaccounts for the remaining ninety-seven percentdark matter, what cannot be seenthis, is the point where faith and science convergewe cannot see this, darknessbut we know of its existencebecause it has an effect on everything we can seeoh, i do so declarewe are so insignificant out amongst everything======mediocre oblivion you know,i once came across a ghetto fabulous teacheroh, she exuded a certain stank of intelligencei had the distinct impression she was anything but -so i tested the notion with a seemingly innocuous question‘how many stars are there in our solar system’the answer was delivered in its usual pedantic mannerit amounted to ‘there are too many to count’just as suspected, she was an idiotrightly so, my retort put her in her placethere is only one star in our solar systemfucking hilarious, eh?well, as it turns out she was not done adding fuel to her pyre‘my astronomy professor in college tells me otherwise’she quippedif you say so, moronfigured she’d continue digging her own gravedid not take the argument furtherseed of doubt had been spewed into her mindonce shown a dooryou alone, are responsible for walking through=======light in the darkness, dying flamei shit on the Qurani wipe my ass with Bible paperreligion, the great joke on humanity Mohammed the prophet was a con artistMoses was schizophrenic idiotthe Vatican is a clubhouse where r****ts dwellso many divisions amongst usall believe we are righteous we all, arewhile concurrently being all wrong there are no wrong answers only different points of perspectivemurder **** v******e these words are of little concernwhat should worry youis the seven billion people each believing he she theyare somehow special somehow more deserving than anyone else the truly sad thing is the more a person accumulatesthe more powerful they feelmoney and wealth are illusory and transitorywe live during a time of spiritual warfaremeaningless words like family c***dren and hopeare tossed around in a vain effort to evoke a certain attitude of the vast slave workforce hoping to keep everyone in lineto continue sleeping out their livesin sick desperation wake work eat shit drink fuck sleep repeatthese dayscertain words like darkness are thrown around people often associate it with evilsmall mindsthe darkness includes the light you simply cannot have one without the other full circle to my point regarding religion humanity will drown under the guise of religion the light is often associated with goodness people find comfort in it because with the light they equate ideas such as safety feeling unsafe in the anxiety-filled darkness istherefore a bad thing hence evilwe, as a species must travel out into the darkness there, one may find possibilities outside of imagination we must travel beyond the view of the dying flamethe world,as it is,is simply not working we must be willing to let it all goto evolve9/11, the saying goesnever forget well,forget,is exactly what we must dowe must, develop amnesiaforget the pasttry something else live in the nowwe are all dirtall the sameas mentioned,insignificant out among the stars————-lots of widgets and peevesi hear of lots of things these daysif i told who, what i amone would be most inclined todisbeliefsimplynot here to convince nor influencedeliver a messageis allflow flow muthafucka’spit spitblacks gotta kick that slavery chipoff them the shouldercolor last thing on the mindwe all people hea’it is most unfortunatethe vast sleeping slave workforceliving on an edgesomewhere between indecision and fearall the same color in the darknessmust develop night visionto see mei simply cannotwill notunsee what i have seenthe blinding light at the other edge of darknessit is all opportunitynot here for selfhere for the speciesthere are no ruleslineslaws or regulationsimply follow one rule the goldenlive present in the nowand all will be good a death lottery neededall must enter, no excuses – no passesmust take steps the drasticto preserve humanitywe all must be willing to let it all gofrom death, comes life====